My husband and I are renting an apartment in the home owned by a relative.?

Question

He is overseas with the Army right now. A few things have happened that I find a bit annoying. (I.E. knocking on the door leading to my kitchen instead of my front door), trying to come in the apartment when I was on vacation to turn the light off over the stove without calling me first to see if I minded. (I always leave a small light on so I do not come home to a dark house.) We want to set boundaries early on without offending her, as she is family. However, we do pay rent and have certain expectations of privacy, etc...Any suggestions?

Also, we are very private people, and want to convey this early on.

Answer 1

Tell her just like you told us..... I like to leave the light on because..... We do have some expectations of privacy.... It's always best to be honest and straightforward. Do not tap dance around the issues. Just be pleasant and respectful and hopefully she will understand.

Answer 2

It's always hard with family because they think that gives them a right to go beyond what they would if you were a stranger.
Of course usually it's good intentions, but it can get annoying.
With the knocking at the kitchen door, could you either tell her that either you can't hear it well from where you usually are, or that you would prefer to get used to her knocking on the front door?
With the light - I think that if you just explain that one, it will make perfect sense - I'm the same way.
As wrong as it is, you can't honestly get privacy from your landlord if they are family. If you are worried about her getting offended, I'm sorry but you either tell her in the nicest way possible or find another place because you can't live day to day wondering when/why/how shes in your home. It doesn't feel safe I'm sure.

Answer 3

I know how you feel, I am a very private person as well and do not want people over uninvited, no matter if they are family or not, unless it`s an emergency of course. I just find that an Invasion of Privacy and very rude.
So how does that work you rent an apartment inside another home? I`m just trying to picture it...
Do you have a separate entrance? How about having the locks changed? That would be a little drastic maybe but they should get the hint...and if that is not possible, just tell them and get it off your chest.

Answer 4

Family has to be the worst housemate. I feel bad for you. If the activity is good natured (they want to protect you while your husband is away) they are not respecting your privacy. If the activity is not good natured (they want to make sure you are not getting freaky with soemone other than your husband) they are not respecting your privacy. You can talk until you are blue in the face, you can scream and complain, it doesn't matter, they will make it look like you are the crazy one. Here is what you do, get an alarm system put in and don't give them the PIN or the password. Next time they come snooping around, let them explain what they were doing there to the police. The police have a great way of explaining property rights.

Answer 5

I think you're nit picking. If this person isn't barging in on you ALL the time, then you should be glad to be in a home with family while your hubby is away! If your kitchen door is not an outside door, but rather leads to the other person's part of the house, don't you think it's a bit much to ask them to walk outside to knock? I live in an apartment that's a part of a house too, and our living spaces are connected through a door in the laundry room. We're not related in any way, but that door is NEVER locked! We know (and DEPEND) on the fact that a close friend can run in and set a timer or turn on a light or open the doggie door for my pup......maybe I"m too trusting, but I don't think you should complain, but instead be grateful for family around to love! Good luck!!!

Answer 6

Landlords have a list for their tenants to follow, write a list nicely stating your private requests. Keep track of all rent receits etc. in case there is an arguement later on. Watch any of those Judge shows on TV???

Answer 7

First make sure you have a lease agreement written out and signed by everyone.

If you are paying rent then they should respect your privacy and treat you like any normal landlord would.

Answer 8

trust me i know all to well of what you are going through. what you have to do is come out and be honest yet not rude. just explain to the relative that yes you are family but when it comes to the house you are landlord and tenant and that you would like to be treated as such. trust me if you don't do this right away things will get worse.

Answer 9

FIRST OF ALL, THIS WAS A REALLY BAD CHOICE TO EVEN RENT FROM FAMILY. SECONDLY, YOU JUST NEED TO LET YOUR REAL FEELINGS BE KNOWN. THE HELL WITH SPARING ANY FEELINGS ESPECIALLY IF YOU SAY YOU YOU ARE VERY PRIVATE. YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN RIGHT NOW, TODAY.