I love my boyfriend of a year and a half more than anything in the world. I just don't connect with women very easily. I would feel more comfortable if I could hang out with guys (totally and completely NOT sexual.... just friends). This isn't considered cheating is it? Is it wrong to do this? Should my boyfriend feel jealous?
2006-11-28 13:39:26 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My bf and I have been together for 10 years. My best friends are all guys. I don't like women. It's not cheating to be friends with guys.
2006-11-28 13:40:50 · answer #1 · answered by The Pulverizer 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It's definitely not cheating. I tend to get along with men better than women because so many women are catty little brownosers who manipulate people to their advantage. Men tend to be more direct, less sensitive and much more laid back and easy to get along with. But, alot of guys would feel jealous and that's not wrong. It just shows that they guy thinks you're something special that he wants to protect. If he didn't have feelings for you - jealousy would never become an issue. So, it's not wrong to do but it could easily give your boyfriend the wrong impression especially if they are around the two of you at the same time and your guy friends know he feels jealous and could try to make him more jealous and egg him on for fun. So, it depends on how you feel about your boyfriend. If you really think he's something special - you'll back off with the guy friends, he'll feel like the greatest thing since sliced bread and you'll end up with a really strong relationship. He's not going to enjoy being with you if you have emotional bonds and attachments to other guys. He won't feel like you're very special and some other girl will come along and treat him like he is - and then it's over for you.
2006-11-28 13:48:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys tend to feel jealous about a lot of silly things. You know, you love him a lot, and your body language around other men should express that you're not open to anything more than friendship.
Remember, guys are thick sometimes. And you don't want your guy telling you, I told you so, if some of your guy friends end up liking you more than a friend.
I use to be the same way, trust me, studying in an all girls college now, I get along very well with girls (which I never did before, it was jus guys and guys for me. I was a tom-boy). So find yourself some really nice gurl friends and trust me, you'll have more fun than ever!
GoodLUCK!
2006-11-30 17:22:12 · answer #3 · answered by Yvonne Mystic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your boyfriend has 15 female friends and would rather talk to them than hang out with the guys? He says they are just friends, nothing sexual?
So how do YOU feel? Fine? Confused? What's up? Jealous? Just wonder why a guy has so many female friends and no male friends?
Oh yeah! Because he just gets along better with the girls..........
Put the shoe on the other foot! Would it cause YOU any discomfort whatsoever? Just think about it? A year and a half with this guy?
Relationship reassurance is all about making the other partner feel comfortable, NOT jealous or that they aren't enough for you. Try getting some female friends to spend some time with. I wouldn't listen to some that say "tell him that you can be friends with guys" I assure you, HE does not feel the same.
Which relationship do you want to nurture?
2006-11-28 13:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, that is FAR from cheating......... and there is nothing wrong with it.... if your boyfriend is jealous than he is just being insecure. I think it is better if the guy friend is a mutual friend of you and your boyfriend. If he is a friend of your from before your relationship, than you should definetly introduce your boyfriend to him, and explain that you have a brother/sister type relationship and that it's not a threat or anything like that to your relationship and the it's ok that he is the opposite sex. Personally I am just like you in that area....I think women are caddy, and stuck up. I have always had way more guy friends than women.
2006-11-28 13:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by LADY RED 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That isn't considered cheating by no means. It is just other peoples bad way of thinking. Just because you are seen with him doesn't mean that you are sleeping with him. People automatically think that though. I had the same issues when I was younger. But I was comfortable hanging with the guys. I actually learned alot. So if you are happy with that, and your boyfriend doesn't mind then go for it! Hang with the guys!But if it makes your bow jealous you might want to reconsider who you really want to spend your time with!
2006-11-28 13:48:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
each and every couple has the right to opt for what's passable for THEM. buddies of the option sex might want to might want to be said earlier marriage... same to at the same time as to have little ones, the thanks to address funds, faith, etc. If the couple has an same opinion no buddies of the opposite sex, then so be it. in the journey that they agree it really is totally passable, then so be it. outstanding couples administration this situation yet otherwise. I also do no longer experience it really is a large deal with a boyfriend or female friend. there's no dedication there and also you're loose to do something. despite the indisputable fact that at the same time as marriage occurs, that is necessary you and your significant different are on an same web page with particular concerns.
2016-10-07 22:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should feel jealous you need to reassure him that his is your boyfriend the others are just friends. I think it is great when you can have friends of the opposite sex. They are people to. But I will also ask if it would trouble you if he had girls that were just friends...... Maybe you need to get him to know your friends and he will know that it is friendship. Besides when he is not around he should feel good that you have friends that will look out for you
good luck
2006-11-28 13:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by remar0 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hate this... it's probably not suuch a big deal for you 'cos you can probably deal with being with your man and not have too much agro over who you hang with. (of course i could be wrong)
i don't have a problem with guys, i'd hang with guys just as well as the next guy, only i don't drink and in liverpool that can be an issue 'cos everyone does it. i'm not into clubs 'cos a meat market for severely immature/undersexed/over intoxicated teens or middle aged people ina mid-life crisis is just not my scene (i'm probably being a bit unfair to someone there, but that's how i feel)
all of my friends just happen to be girls some of them are much older than me some of them are just abit younger. i've tried to explain to people that deciding to be faithful shouldn't have much to do with your partner 'cos then you're doomed to fail. nobody's perfect whoever you're with is likely to disappoint you at some stage about something big or small which you can use as an excuse to relax. Commitment should come from and be governed by the individual. You should or shouldn't cheat according to your own personal moral code. my g/f doesn't understand that I wouldn't cheat on her 1 'cos i've tried it and I don't enjoy it, it makes me very uncomfortable 2. because i'm the only one who's guaranteed to live with myself for the rest of my life and I don't want that kind of guilt ruining my sleep or my good view of myself. it gets tiresome sometimes but i'd rather have (and share) the moral high ground than not.
i'm sorry you asked a question that i would inevitably rant at. it's you're fault for asking it. (by saying that i actually mean 4u2 understand that i'm saying 'thank you')
'just friends' is just that. jealousy is a good thing. if your man feels it, then that's good. it might cause him discomfort but if he treats it properly you'll enjoy his efforts to keep you and your attitude to him will reward him with the assurance that he's done right by you and you're not going anywhere. that was nature's intention when jealousy evolved.
that's why it's shouldn't be considered cheating, it's certainly NOT wrong. and yes, your b/f should be jealous because it's good for him and good for the relationship. but at the same time love is made up of loyalty, trust, fidelity, affection, kindness and consideration. those things should be taken into account too.
yeah. that's what i think.
2006-11-30 12:57:51 · answer #9 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's fine for you to have male friends, and as long as you make it clear that you're not available, you should be OK. It's not cheating. It's called "friendship". And if your boyfriend becomes jealous, then you need to talk with him about it. Jealousy is borne out a place of thinking that he's losing something he's not (you're love for him). And it would be up to him to consider "Why am I jealous?" One *can* unlearn that emotion. Peace.
2006-11-28 13:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by FL LMT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too am one of the girls who prefers the male as friends. There is no reason why you can't hang with them and have a boyfriend.After all they are just people and gender shouldn't matter. My man excepts my male friends and also excepts that my best and closest,dearest friend is a guy(straight).He has never shown any jealousy and knows I love him as my man and Mike as my friend.We have a rule that we follow for these things and it is:you are crossing the line if you do something that you wouldn't do if he was standing there. It is not wrong to have male buds and the boyfriend should not be jealous and it ain't cheatin' if the lips aren't meetin.
2006-11-28 13:54:00 · answer #11 · answered by Miz Val 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋