I have a four year old son who since he has been potty trained has had very few "accidents", when he did it was usually at night in his bed and it would wake him up. I would get up clean him, change his sheets and put him back to bed. In the past week or two he has had several accidents while I am at work and he stays with his step-grandfather. They have let me know on each occassion and after the second and third (which happened today) they have told me they spanked him for it and told him it better not happen again. I have given them permission to spank him if needed but havent fully discussed what I think is appropriate misbehavior for spanking, though I dont think this is appropriate. I have a couple questions: First, are these accidents normal, and just a phase he will grow out of or just carelessness on his part and Second how should I go about discussing with them that I dont think these accidents deserve such a harsh punishment without making them feel bad
2006-11-28
13:18:06
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8 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Toddler & Preschooler
He is no longer wetting the bed, but had an accident at the table eating lunch and once sitting on the floor in front of the tv, also at my house we always have the bathroom door open and light on for him, not so in their house, nor were they in the room with him when the accidents happened.....my question is not about the bed wetting was just using that as a precious example of his accidents
2006-11-28
13:30:52 ·
update #1
previous not precious....sorry typo ; )
2006-11-28
13:33:50 ·
update #2
Has his schedual changed kids will often regress in potty training if something in there life changes. My neighbor whose husband is in the military told me that her son started having accidents when his father was on active duty and was not home. I would make him clean up the mess and talk to him about why this is happening.
2006-11-28 13:31:53
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Well I wet the bed up until about a year ago and i'm 16 now. It would always be at night and it would never wake me up. The reason was because I was a very deep sleeper and had been ever since the day I was born. My parents spanked me pretty much everytime it happened. I have so much emotional problems b/c of this. I would tell them over and over that i couldn't help it and if I could don't you think that I would. But it never stopped them from punishing me but, I guess it just got so frustrating for them and they were very young and inexperienced parents.But punishment is definetly not a good thing. But anyway I would suggest to take him to the doctor to see if he may have a weak bladder or it may be an infection such as a UTI or something of that sort. And if there is no problem then I would think about asking him it something is wrong emotionally b/c kids tend to wet themselves during the day when they are frightened or have had some kind of tramatic experience.. And another reason is sexual abuse. I don't know your son's step grandfather and I'm not saying that is the problem I just want you to know all the possible things that could be wrong. And it may turn out that he may need a little more attention b/c some children tend to act out when they need more attention. I wish you all the luck.
2006-11-28 13:31:58
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answer #2
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answered by KissMe 2
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I do not believe that spanking is an appropriate punishment for bedwetting behavior. Indeed, this child wakes up wet and cold, and that is punishment enough. He certainly isn't doing it on purpose, and so no punishment is needed, certainly not spanking.
Some kids sleep so deeply that their bodies do not wake them up when they feel the urge to urinate. Often, they will dream they are in the bathroom when they are wetting the bed. That's why many child rearing experts will advise against getting a child up in the middle of the night to go potty because they are not really awake for those trips, and they get confused as to what is a dream and what is reality.
Limit what he drinks about 3 hours before bedtime, and make sure he goes potty before he goes to bed. I would say that at 4, it's not time to panic yet, but you might consider investing in one of the alarm devices that senses dampness and sounds an alarm to wake the child. My SIL wet the bed until she was 9 or so, and that was the only thing that helped her.
You might want to ask your pediatrician or family doctor to test your son for a urinary tract infection which might explain the sudden bedwetting. And try to be very understanding when talking about the bedwetting in front of your son. The very real fear he has that he will wet the bed becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy from all of the stress that he now has associated with going to bed. He worries he will wet the bed, he doesn't want to wake up cold and wet and he certainly doesn't want a spanking.
Your doctor, after ruling out any physical cause for the wetting, will be able to tell you yes this is normal. And then you can tell the relatives, "This is normal, we are working on it, and do not feel that you have the right to punish my son for something over which he has no control. I know you are only trying to help, but we are not going to solve this problem by punishing him."
I wish you all the best.
2006-11-28 13:27:05
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answer #3
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answered by OK yeah well whatever 4
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Talk to her teachers. Some kids go through this faze. My daughter was full potty trained at 2 years old and didn't even have to have pull ups at night. Around 4 years old she kept having accidents. It happens. Just keep talking to your daughter about it and let her know that when she needs to potty she needs to get to the bathroom. Kids wait to the last minute and I don't understand why. I think they are so engrossed in playing or other activities that they often don't realize they have to pee until the very last minute. She will grow out of this faze. I really wouldn't worry to much about it but I know how frustrating it can be.
2016-05-22 23:50:55
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answer #4
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answered by AnnaMaria 4
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Accidents do happen and boys have a tougher time with training. I do not believe it's right to spank if he wets, the boy thinks spanking as a punishment and wetting should not be punished. He needs encouragement like offering him a sticker, a piece of candy. Make it fun, it may make him understand better.
2006-11-28 13:26:55
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answer #5
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answered by confusedw2 1
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Require that he help you change the sheets. He's not gonna like that, so it'll help him to remember to go potty in the potty, rather than on the bed.
2006-11-28 13:21:28
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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He knows mommy thinks he's an accident
2006-11-28 13:19:31
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answer #7
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answered by I-Like-Chicha&Ceviche 5
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be smart and good luck
2006-11-28 13:19:05
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answer #8
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answered by brandon m 1
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