How can I get my family to stop being so.... argh?

Question

Christmas break is coming up. My husband is currently stationed in Afghanistan, so I've been home alone (Colorado) with my pets since last January. My grandparents want me to fly to Alaska on December 16th and stay my entire vacation, which is an entire month. However, my husband has two weeks leave in January and we're meeting in Wisconsin where my mom and his family is located. Somehow, he's become the enemy to my grandparents and has ruined Christmas because he wants to see his mom and wants me to go to Wisconsin. I suggested that my grandparents come visit me for the holidays since they don't have pets, but they say they can't leave the house in winter. I then suggest flying from Anchorage to Chicago, but then my grandparents go on a tirade about it's so dangerous to fly or too dangerous for me to drive to the airport. I really don't know what to do without being a "bad" person. My grandparents are the ones that raised me, so I have divded loyalties. Any advice?

I'd rather just worry about my finals than have to worry about family politics.

Answer 1

Your loyalty is to your husband... your grandparents have to realize this and it;s up to you to set them straight... ask your granddad how would he feel if his wife choose someone else over hime and vice versa, grandma too... go be with your husband... tell your grandparents you will see them soon... to me xmas can be any day of the year... just as long as we all get to see each other... tell them you are only one person and you can't be in two places at once... and then say
"I KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND".... these 4 words has a great impact... it puts the other person in the position to say either yea or no... and most always say yes... this is your husband we are talking about and that you have no choise... and if they want to consider him the enemy then thats how it will be... what would you want you husband to do in the same situation... I know you would want him to choose you over someone else... and letting the grandparents know that they should be proud of you for beinga good wife and knowing where your priorities are...
hope this helps...

Answer 2

I say you should go visit your husband because you haven't seen him in a long time. I know your grandparents make it seem like you're a "bad" person but you're not. They should understand that you really miss him and want to see him for the time that you have together.
To make it fair for your grandparents go out and visit them after spending time with your husband.