post every single blonde joke you know, best answer will be awarded to the ones that make me most laugh and who has the most, alright, lets get it on...
2006-11-28 11:32:48 · 16 answers · asked by Guitr Playrrr 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
just copy and paste, i dont care what you do, im just to lazy to go through all the jokes, comeon people, its worth the points
2006-11-28 11:36:52 · update #1
A Blonde named Maggie was walking down the street and she saw a sign on a fabric store window that said, "FELT FOR 25 CENTS."
Maggie just laughed quietly to herself, because she knew that she could get felt for free!
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond are sitting in a doctors office, talking about what sex of child they are going to have. the Brunette says "I am going to have a boy because I was on top when having sex." The Redhead replied "I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom while having sex." Then the Blond says hesterically " Oh my God, I am going to have puppies."
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her index finger shot off.
How did this happen? The doctor asked.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the Blonde replied.
"Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, I just paid $6,000 for these boobs. Then I put it in my mouth and thought, I just paid $3,000 to get my teeth straightened. Then I put the gun in my ear, and thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
2006-11-28 11:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Vanessa R 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.
Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde ***** going to leave!?
A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces him/her self.
A2: Walks home.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don't know.
R: Neither did she.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last *******.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.
Confucius say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today"
Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
2006-11-28 19:37:34 · answer #2 · answered by tanny_fanny2003 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
these are the only ones i can find right now
so enjoy:
Stay here
A blonde goes over to visit one of her friends
While she is at her friend’s house it starts to storm, so her friend suggests she spends the night at her house and go home the next day.
The blonde agrees that makes sense and goes into the den to watch TV while her friend goes upstairs to put the kids to bed
When her host comes downstairs, she finds the blonde coming in the front door, drenching wet.
She asks, “Where have you been?”
I went home to get my pajamas!!!
Blonde football
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. “oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn’t understand though why they were killing each other for 25 cents.
What do you mean?
“all the kept screaming was: Get the quarter back!” duhhhhhhh!!!!!
The train ride
The blonde wife came home from her first day of commuting into the city
Her husband noticed she was looking a little pale and asked, honey, are you feeling all right?
Not really, she replied. Tot tell you the truth, I’m a little nauseous from sitting backwards on the train.
Poor dear, he said. “why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”
I wanted to, but I couldn’t, she replied. There was no one there
2006-11-28 19:58:52 · answer #3 · answered by annie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you know why blonde jokes are so short? So the rest of you can get them.
2006-11-28 20:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by sweetsum691 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you call 2 blonde lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
An interpreter.
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill a bird?
She threw it off a cliff.
2006-11-28 19:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by Donna 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did the blonde change her baby's diaper once a week?
The box said "Up to 20 pounds"
2006-11-28 19:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
answer: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
2006-11-28 19:40:18 · answer #7 · answered by nick w 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a blonde gets pulled over for speeding
when the cop gets to her window the blonde realizes that shes a blond too, amzed by this she accidentally gives the blonde cop her compact instead of he liscence. The blonde cop looks at it and says " oh my gosh! Your a cop too?!?!?!"
2006-11-28 19:33:45 · answer #8 · answered by jsav209 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
wwhy did the blonde fall out of a tree?
cause she was raking the leaves
2006-11-28 19:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Sabrina C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a blondes bf was taking her hunting and as they werer walking he fell. he told her 2 call 911. so she did and she told the dispatcher " i thinks he dead, help" so the dispatcher told her to calm down. she did. then the dispatcher said." ok, now make sure he is dead. there was silence then all of the sudden,
BAM!!!!!!!!!!! " ok now what do i do.
2006-11-29 14:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋