How do I get over him?

Question

I dated a guy for 6 months. He was my best friends brother. We never fought and the sex was the best. Then two weeks after he gave me a huge engagement ring he decided to go back to his ex (who was a convicted coke dealer). Its been a year since we split and I still am not over him. We've had lunch a couple of times, talked on the phone, and exchange emails almost daily. I've dated a few guys since him but no one compares to him. (Even the guys say I compare them to him). He's still with the cokehead. How do I get over him and stop destroying all possible future relationships?

Answer 1

It will definitely take time. My advice is to stop emailing him every day, and don't go out with him and don't talk to him on the phone a lot. You're allowing your feelings to stay close to the surface rather than die as they must in order for you to move on to different relationships, and to get your life moving forward rather than stuck on him. If you keep seeing him, spending time with him, and having him in your head, you'll never get over him.

Answer 2

I truly have been there. Give yourself time to grieve the loss. Secondly, give yourself time to find out what attracts you to someone who is making some extremely poor choices. Be thankful that you did not marry him. It could be a hell of a lot worse, children, etc. As for the dating world, it is tough and you need a clear head. You have to get a great handle on who you are and what you need and want. Also, don't be too hard on yourself for loving someone. There is a little bit of good in everybody and you gave of yourself. This is sad that you lost, but you tried. Cry it out until you're not crying any more. Listen to music. I recommend getting a list of good break up songs and making a CD. Lastly, don't contact him. It only delays healing. He will come back, but you must be prepared to say "hell no."

Answer 3

Hi Hannah Here! Im sorry this happend! But you caint let this one guy rueion your future luv life!If youve seen legally blond 2 than u know the part when reese helps pallette say " Im taking the dog!....dumb ***!" thats what a call power over men! So if you ave the power in you than throw out all the things that he ever gave you! ( if you havent all ready) And go take a nice warm bubble bath with your fav ice cream and a chocalate sundae! Its the best way to 4get about a guy! It was totally and COMPLETLY his misatke! Go and tell him that that......... i dot know what? just leave him a message telling him that you dont miss him anymore and never will and that its HIS mistake!
OR if ALL this doesnt work then get all your best dependable galfriends over and gossip about ow mean and dumb certain guys are! ( you dont have to include your guy if you dont want ) but it may feel good to call him a bunch of curse words!Oh and last nut defintitly NOT least DON ttalk to him anymore! thats whats making oyu hurt.... Im sorry to say this but hes a mistake! and the lady hes dating i suggest that she get help A.S.A.P!!

Good Luck with men!
-Hannah

Answer 4

I think this all depends on how much you really love the guy. If you really love him, then persevere and never give up. It's gotta happen some time, and walking away will never get you anywhere. But if you want to see other people, realize that there's no use in comparing him to everyone, because you wouldn't want them to be like him in the first place, if he was that cruel and dumped you for her at such a time! Just reassure and monitor yourself and your thoughts, and it'll all be fine, trust me.

Answer 5

I'd say if you really want to forget about him then quit emailing and calling him. Especially if he's with some druggie. You don't need to get caught up in all that. You gotta realize if he could be with someone like that then he definitely didn't deserve to be with you. There are 6 billion people on the planet, I'm sure you can find someone else way better.

Answer 6

Honey, the first thing you have to do is stop talking ot him. That is what is keeping you attached. If he chose a cokehead over you then he probably isn't that great a guy to begin with...

Answer 7

You sound like someone who has had quiet a few heart breaks. Believe you me been there done it. The last one always takes the longest. You never really get over it. Just eventually your heart ache turns into anger. I left mine 2 years ago now im just angry. But im using my anger to keep other weman and girls from getting hurt like this. There is no pain worse than a heart ache. Men dont see what they do to someone. they just move on. Start excercising that hurt to something good. that may help someone like yourself.

Answer 8

i think maybe the engagement came a lil quick. if he wants to be with the other lady then respect that decision he made ..i think you should start making some of your own..i know its hard i had a sweet heart for 4 years and i think about him all the time..but i don't compare the men i meet to him because none of them will ever be like him..you just need to start noticing what good things the new men have to offer instead of seeing what things they lack on...but good luck with this one

Answer 9

quit seeing him, like for lunch and communicating with him, that only makes is worst and it'll take longer. Why do you keep in contact with him, he chose a cokehead over YOU!

Answer 10

If you still are keeping contact, he is getting something from you that he doesn't get from her. Possibly you have great conversation skills and she doesn't. Anyway, don't answer any more emails, or meet with him. Either he will realize that he needs you, and you win him back, or you will have more space to be able to get past him and move on.