my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 5 years. things have been really great lately and we have been talking about marriage alot. saturday, he got mad because i was writing a paper instead of going over to his house. im in college and had a 25 page paper due monday. he is usually understanding but not this time. i went over to his house sunday and he refused to let me in and i tried to see him at work and he basically told me to leave. he wont return my messages online or answer the phone when i call. i have no idea what to do. i know i dont want us to break up but i dont know if i can do anything about it without him being willing to talk to me. i would really appreciate any advice anyone might have. thanks.
2006-11-28 11:24:42 · 22 answers · asked by blondiekittie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him some time to calm down this sounds like a power struggle to see who wins .Your homework was important and he should recognize that after he cools down You can be persistent and just keep sending him messages of love even If he doesn't answer he Will want to read what you say men are like that normally a simple sorry is enough but after 5 years he thinks he owns you so you need to talk to him about this later after he is back with you .We both men and women need some Independence a little not a lot best if you can agree on this time .
2006-11-28 11:38:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you have been dating him for some time now, but your education is a big part of your future and independence. If he is not understanding of something that important, is that really the type of person that you would like to spend your life with. Give him some time and see if he contacts you. Truly, if he is this mad over an assignment that you had due-it makes you wonder is that the real reason for his anger or just an excuse!
2006-11-28 11:31:49 · answer #2 · answered by Fluff C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give him some time to think and be alone a while when he thinks about it he will probably reason with you.
But you education is important and you just wanted to get it done. He might be stressed out about the whole marriage talk.
You are definately not in the wrong. It is probably a good idea for you to continue with you education until you finish Before getting married.
Note: I am pretty young and that is the best advice that i can give you.
2006-11-28 11:49:36 · answer #3 · answered by Talentedgurl5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you tell him in advance that you had this paper due on Monday and would need the weekend to work on it? Maybe he had a surprise for you and you blew him off. I'm not excusing his behavior but I know where he's coming from.
My bf of 2 years has gone back to university & I NEVER get to see him. Usually only on weekends & sometimes only every other weekend (and we live in the same city only 20 minutes from each other). I do understand how stressed out my bf is and how frustrated he must be, but he doesn't seem to acknowledge that this is also affecting me, our relationship & our sex life. We are supposed to be patient & understanding .....but it would be nice once in awhile if my bf would do something nice for me to let me know how much he appreciates me as well. Have you done something nice for your bf lately to let him know how much you love him? He must be rewarded for waiting for you if you'd like him to continue waiting. Otherwise, he may start to doubt your relationship and whether you are worth waiting for. I know because that question frequently crosses my mind. And you definitely don't want him to start looking for the affection that he desires from someone else now.
So as difficult as it is going to school and keeping up with the work load, you must remember that a relationship is also a lot of work. Remember to let him know that he's #1 & that he is your main priority even though you aren't able to always put his needs first. Send him a nice love letter letting him know how much you appreciate him and maybe then he will open up and the two of you can start talking again.
Good luck!
2006-11-28 11:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are a nice girl and have not done anything wrong.
Except you "LOVE" him, and for your "LOVE" has done too much for him and he is blind to recognize it.
In other hand he is not a mentally healthy person and his actions is not acceptable at all.
You said he did not let you in.
HERE it is 'Your personality problem'. You must have a GREAT respect for yourself, and when he did not let you 'in', you should stay away from him, and write him a FINAL LETTER.
It appears to me that even if you marry this man; he would ever respect you, and you will leave with children alone, no happy life in such that your DIGNITY be maintain.
I am suggesting that from today, you forget him, and do your normal life. IF he did not show, and did not apologize for his poor actions; then after THREE month try to find a man that respect you and LOVE you as much as that you LOVE him.
2006-11-28 11:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Iranian Amigo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds immature. Communication is one of the main ingredience in a relationship. Give him a day to chill. It was a college paper that was due and not that you were going out with the girls, he needs to get over it. Tell him that and wait, he will realize it, if not, he isn't worth your time. I know you put in 5 years so hope he realizes what you mean to him. Good luck!
2006-11-28 11:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by stealth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is crazy. First of all, if he loved you he would be understanding enought this time as he was before. Give him some time. If he doesnt call you or come to see you, try to get over him, he will not deserve you. 5 years is along time he should understand, if doesnt, you dont need him, imagine if you will be married to him. He will drive you crazy. Good luck
2006-11-28 11:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by sandy02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could have changed his mind about marriage and is temporarily rejecting you as a result(very silly behaviour if true) or he could be cheating of he could be up to all kinds of other 'no good' things that he doesn't want you to know about. You might need to talk to someone he is close to.
2006-11-28 11:30:50 · answer #8 · answered by kicking_back 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him his space. Your priority should be school honey..not your boyfriend. Get your education and think about guys after you get your paper...You will be surprised how your perspective chages about guys in general once you have graduated and gotten a job...trust me! Don't sweat the small stuff. Leave him alone...
2006-11-28 11:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by Making Them Listen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just back off give him some space you could have Scared the crap out of him or something just wait and see in a week or two if he Still does not want to talk to you then you need to worry
2006-11-28 11:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by csm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋