so... you are young. you are hot. you have one of the coolest jobs on the planet. you have great friends. you love your life. the only thing missing is someone to share it with.
...finally you meet someone through a series of wierd co-incidences and go on a date. you get on like no one you have ever met before. you spend all night chatting and laughing and laughing and chatting. it ends on a very good note.
the following week he calls to tell you that actually he had an intense relationship with a girl recently that only lasted a few weeks. she finished it to sort her head out. she is going to get back to him in the next 2 weeks as to whether she wants to resume where they left off. it is an 'all or nothing' decision.
if she says no, he wants to see you. if she says yes then he doesn't want to start anything else only to dump them when the inevitable happens.
if she says no and he goes out with you, how can you stop from feeling second best the whole time?
2006-11-28 11:22:36 · 12 answers · asked by spandex 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would say that you give him the time, then consider casually dating him while still seeing other people. That way you won't get attached to him should he decide to date her a few months or weeks from now. I think it's nice that he was honest enough to tell you what is going on in his life. It doesn't necessarily make you second best, just not the first one he met. Either way, take it slow and really get to know him.
2006-11-28 11:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sure has a high opinion of himself and a low opinion of you. Try playing hard to get, though personally I don't think he's worth bothering about. How do you know he is being truthful about this supposedly 'intense relationship'. He could just be stringing you along in case nothing better turns up. Forget him if you have any sense.
2006-11-28 20:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by Sandee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha im pretty much like u atm...
apart from having a cool job ~ i'm still in training =P
there's also a guy i'm being involved with who also has a girl that he likes too ~but they have more of a phone relationship?...
yday he was confused of what to do and didn't kiss me at all but tonight decided to go out with me ^_^ and was rather loving...
he told me he likes her, and like he known her for longer (since high school ~ she was an old crush lol) but he knows me more??? coz like i been in the same training course with him for 2 months ~ =D
oh well he was asking me what i think he should do. and i couldn't exactly say STOP chattin to the other girl and be 100% focused on me, that'd be selfish...lol ~ so i just told him to go do what he feels is right, coz i wouldn't mind. (well i would really)
i am jealous of the fact that he is sorta sharing himself between 2 girls. coz yday wen he was in the cold distant mood, he told me he didn't feel as though it was right for him to be all intimate with me...and then talk to the other girl normally on the phone =O
oh well...since he was like realllllllllllly nice to me today ~ i would like to think he likes me more? but i am not 100% certain coz i ain't clear if he is gonna forget about the other girl. so i am not gonna get too serious. atm it's just kisses and cuddles ~ i try my best to not fall in love. haha!
well to me ~ just i dnt no...if u really want this guy, because he's really special to u...then maybe u can try ur best to show that you'd be the better girlfriend!
but whatever happens...i believe there are other nice guys out there who don't have other priorities and would be 100% commited.
all u can do is wait i guess...
wishing u the best ~ x
btw im 19 =)
2006-11-28 19:43:02 · answer #3 · answered by kimee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its up to you follow your heart. however whats to stop him from not carrying on with her and going out with you, but then cheating on you because he thinks he made the wrong decision. personnaly i would like any girl i date to be single and not be using me as a fall back plan in case first choice says no, i would want to be the person she fully loved and wanted to be with.
2006-11-28 19:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by johnao 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't I don't think or you could look at the positives and think he doesn't want to start something new until the old thing is over and that he has been brutally honest.
2006-11-28 19:28:47 · answer #5 · answered by hornyheluk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see what happens and then decide. i dont think you are necessarily second best but on the other hand if she initially says no and then suddenly decides she wants him back then will he just leave you?
2006-11-28 19:32:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave it. you'll be second best both ways if he leaves her and goes to you you'll be second best. if he goes back to her he used you as a back up.so move on and forget about it.you'll find some1 else. do it before you get hurt.good luck
2006-11-29 04:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by dragontears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just love these complicated ridiculously-long, meandering, questions that no one can possibly answer! How the hell can we offer any kind of reasonably good response when we have no idea about the situation?
2006-11-28 19:24:43 · answer #8 · answered by drsteve362005 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
By not allowing him to have you as second best.
2006-11-28 19:33:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't date him. you'll always feel second-best, because you always WILL be second-best to him. he's using you as a back-up. don't date him.
2006-11-28 19:27:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋