bullies at playgroup?

Question

i take my daughter who is 18months old to a mother and baby playgroup there is a little girl there who is coming up to the age of 3. she keeps lashing out at my daughter she has even kicked her in the face when she tried to sit down next to her it is not only my daughter she is like that with her mother does make her apologise but now do i respond to this situation

has for julia.... i do not find the safety of my daughter STUPID

Answer 1

it is not as simple as just removing your child and going to another playgroup. your child needs to see that this little girl is being punished for what she is doing otherwise your child will see that this violence is going unpunished and she may start to show sighns of it herself. you should have a word with the supervisor, express your concerns and if one is not already in place get all the mums together to produce a behaviour document stating what is acceptable behaviour and what behaviour warrents punishing and what the punishment should be i.e.
having a naughty chair situated where they can see the other children playing nicely and having fun
not allowing the child to play with a paticular favourite toy
however once the child has done the punishment they must always be made to apologise. this kind of behaviour needs to be stopped now before this child does some serious harm to your child or another, make it clear to the mother you are not singling her out but you are all offering her your help. if the mother is unwilling to accept that her child needs to be punished for her awful behaviour then she should be asked to remove her daughter from the playgroup until she can demonstrate behaviour that is acceptable. children at this young age only get into bad habits when they are not being instructed that what they are doing is wrong. this child will eventually learn that her bad behaviour has consequences if her mother is willing to punish her.
if this does not work as harsh as it may seem and as inconvenient as it will be you will have to call your child to you everytime this girl goes near her.

Answer 2

it's crazy that a 3 y.o. is acting that way & the mother's only response is an insincere apology from the demon-in-training. This little one should be made to sit on the side & watch the others. If the mom isn't going to take more constructive, behavior changing actions, the leader/organizer of the playgroup should be made aware of the situation immediately. This child lashing out could cause injury to another child. If the leadership doesn't address what's happening & you love the group too much to leave, make sure you keep your daughter away from this child. If all else fails, it's time to find a new group. There are nice kids (& responsible parents) everywhere. I hope everything works out for you & your daughter.

Answer 3

You need to take it up with the playgroup leader. Its her responsibility to ensure this sort of behaviour is nipped in the bud, as well as the childs mother.

My daughter went to playgroup and there was a nasty little girl there, she bit my daughter abnd drew blood. I threatened to go to the local council and education authority unless somethign pro-active was done, and the little girl was removed from playgroup.

She kicked, hit, bit, spat, and was a horrible child, her mother was very young and single and I dont think she knew how to cope, she didnt seem to have much in the way of support from family, so I felt sorry for her, but my child came first, so I had to act.

The playgroup leader did try various methods before removing the child, she wasnt just kicked out, but so many mothers had complained, she had to do something.

Answer 4

Just keep your daughter away from that girl. There are occasionally a couple of people at the playgroup I take my daughter to that are a bit more boisterous than my daughter can handle, and if I spot a situation brewing, I'll either escort my daughter away from them, or will tell that other child to back off, but not in a nasty way. I tell them that what they are doing isn't nice, because my daughter is smaller than they are.
If they still don't get the hint, I use my mother's voice...the one I seem to get when my mother's words start coming out of my mouth (ARGGGH!!)
That other mother is probably ashamed of her daughters behaviour, and the fact she does try to reprimand her daughter is good, but sometimes children listen more to a stranger than to their own parents.

Answer 5

Your daughter got kicked in the face and you are emailing us instead of talking to the mother.

If there is a leader of the playgroup, you should politely voice your concerns to her. You should also speak to the mother.....an apology is not enough. You and the other moms should speak to her and you should all draft what is acceptable behavior if this has not been done.

The child should be asked to leave when she hurts another child. The mother needs to be told to remove her.

Answer 6

when a normal group accepts that kind of things, you're clearly playing the game outside the scope it was created for... and in that case, all bets are off (and in most cases you're not playing the game as the author specifically said you should).

Nobody, ever, tried to argue that the social aspect does not take precedence over the roleplaying aspect. So you can't stop dysfunctional play, right, but you can damn well try to make sure those anti-social psycho players out-there :) are not playing the game as you wrote it, just something they came up with on their own that they think is the game you wrote... exactly like the fictional PTA Producer you created, or the DitV group that you "know" of that bullied one of its players into clamming up and just following the lead.

Answer 7

if the mother cant control her child i would tell the child my self i would also speak to the people who run the playgroup! it maybe that the other child shouldnt be allowd to go to playgroup untill she learns how to behave

hope this helps hope ya daughter is ok bless her

Answer 8

You can have the offending child removed by the education authorities.Kicked in the face is pretty serious behaviour coming from a 3 year old little girl.

Answer 9

I would go to another playgroup. Or complain to the supervisor. This sort of thing is not acceptable and you should not put up with it.

Answer 10

Another brat in the making. Your daughter could get seriously hurt. Tell one of the supervisors what is happening because they are better situated than you to sort this problem out.