My girlfriend of 2 years now enjoys going to a local bar that consists of 90 percent men with her girlfreinds and I ask her about it and she says its mainly for attention. Should I be worried?? Also when does it cross the line?? She chose this weekend to go to the bar (telling me that she'd like it if i wasnt there) and I went home, when i was just hanging at her house. Thanks for any help.
2006-11-28 11:11:05 · 14 answers · asked by Derek V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girls are attention-whores - it's just how they are made
2006-11-28 11:13:00 · answer #1 · answered by drsteve362005 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
RED FLAG ALERT!!!
Your GF does NOT want you to be there... WHY? Because she is doing things she does not want you to see - something that she is ashamed of. You need to discuss this with her in great detail as to what she expects for the both of you in this relationship. I am sure if you and the guys went to a bar full of drunk, horny women (not a strip club - that's pretend interest) to get hit upon, she would freak out. Are you wanting an open relationship? If not, it sure sounds like you have one... maybe you two should discuss swinging or just splitting up if monogamy is not the goal for you both. It sure does not sound like it is for HER.
I would even suggest that you get an infidelity kit see link below) and discreetly test her underwear while she's asleep... don't be taken in bi all of this. For all you know, she may be going to this bar ALONE, getting picked up early enough to have 'good time' and then returning home while her friend covers for her or she might not even be going to this bar at all. That kind of slutlike attention is meaningless, anyways, in terms of self-esteem... been there, done that. You seem to stress this behavior of hers has been a pattern of your relationship for quite a while. How long has this been going on and why have you allowed her to do this all this time? What purpose has it served her or you? Are you involved or wanting to be in a CUCKOLD relationship? If not, you are already essentially most of the way there. Who knows what is happening when you are not there? The fact that she does not want you there with her raises so many red flags of TRUST (or the lack thereof), it will bring in herd of raging bulls... if she isn't already doing that herself.
2006-11-28 19:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by azcuriousm4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are in a commited relationship like boyfriend and girlfriend the only attention she should want is YOURS. If she wants the attention and to flirt with OTHER MEN then she is NOT commited to you and you need to move on in life without her.If you feel used its because you are , have been. But can't put all blame for this on your (not really your)girlfriend for you condoned,allowed this behaviour. If I were you I would ask her just how commited is she to YOU and that you will no longer tolerate her(or any other woman that you get involved in) going to bars without you .Naturally if you two go to a bar the only attention is to you and from you.She seems to have the perfect boyfriend in you-----has you for away from the bars boyfriend(physical -sexual convenience) and still gets to have her fun at the bars.
2006-11-28 19:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she knows what she wants, If I were you and I know I am a woman but if I was you I would just let her know that when she is ready to be in a relationship and not be hit on every man in the town then you might be there for her but until then Your out of there, because she apparently needs more attention then you alone can give her.
2006-11-28 19:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is this: Is she having a positive or negative influence on your life? Rather you're talking about a girlfriend, guy friend, coworkers, etc., keep the people who have positive affects on your life. Ditch the ones who don't.
She is not so subtly telling you that you aren't giving her enough attention. If you have been ignoring her, maybe you shouldn't. If she's just being needy, maybe it's time to let her go.
2006-11-28 19:22:41 · answer #5 · answered by David K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girls love attention. you just need to make sure she doesnt cross the line and flirt with all the guys at the bar. it's wrong of her to say that she'd like it if you werent there. if she isnt doing anything wrong, she should be ok with you coming too. thats the part that worries me...
2006-11-28 19:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's never cheated, a little attention is okay. I'd say it's nothing really to worry about if you trust her. It is kind of disrespectful to you though, and she needs to be a bit more considerate of your feelings.
If she wants to be a bi+ch about it, you go out and do the same. Then see how she reacts.
2006-11-28 19:15:08 · answer #7 · answered by <3 <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
someone who is admittedly going out for attention clearly is looking in the wrong places for self worth. Most girls do...but should NOT rely on male OR female attention to feel good about themselves. It's not healthy for your relationship that she's turning to other men for attention but more importantly, it's not healthy for herself to rely on others to feel good about herself...what's she going to do when she's 50 and doesn't get that attention? She needs to learn to feel good about who she is regardless of the attention she's getting. And of course, to answer your question - you shouldn't be ok with it...not becuase she's cheating, but because if you care about her (which I'm sure you do) you want to make sure shes ok with herself.
2006-11-28 19:19:10 · answer #8 · answered by razor_sharp_redhead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to find a new girlfriend....sounds like she can't be trusted and must not be happy with what she has or she wouldn't need the attention....I's lose her before she cheats if she hasn't already.
2006-11-28 19:16:58 · answer #9 · answered by sugar_n_spice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say, don't be mad at her because she likes to get hit on but question why she wants you to stay at her house while she is hanging out. and to be truthful, she may just need to feel desired. if you are giving her that and she still needs it from other men, then she may have a self-esteem issue.
2006-11-28 19:16:48 · answer #10 · answered by morequestions 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just for attention, which you should be a little worried, because you should give her plenty of attention.
2006-11-28 19:15:44 · answer #11 · answered by Kelly*Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋