Are women afraid of sex?

Question

I couldn't help but notice that in all of the dating advice books I have read, it sounds as though when you are dating a woman; you are walking on pins and needles while you are with her. They make it sound like all women are terrified of sex, even with someone they are dating; and all of these books give you exact instructions to follow to have sex with a woman and they warn you if you don't do everything exactly right, you will scare her to death! I understand women are afraid of being hurt, but this stuff sounds a little extreme. Are women really this scared of getting intimate? Don't any of them actually want to sleep with a man without having to play all these weird mind games mentioned in these dating books?

Answer 1

AJ , throw all those books away and listen to me.

Women love to show and express their love for the person whom they chose to be, at least in their eyes, the perfect MATE.
They are thinking long-term. They are always looking to the future.

During intercourse, It is no mistake that our Blood rushes down to the Penis and we stop thinking with the head on our shoulders. All we think about is the task at hand, so to speak.

Women on the other hand, are seeing and taking in everything, they are a very visual and emotional bunch.

Don't Rush your GF right now, make the heart grow founder, lavish them with love and compassion and gentle words. Respect her and treat her well, and everything will be fine.

Answer 2

there is so much focus on a woman saving it until marriage; and abstinance, and if they are sexually active; they are concidered a whore. Women are worried about rape, about being used only for sex, etc. Some women let it get to them; and get quite intimidated around their first time. Also, women are so complex, it isnt a simple up and down motion to get them off such as men. And sex hurts the first time for a lot of women; so it can be a bit scary. That is why there is so much focus in these books to be gentle on this subject.

Answer 3

Do yourself a favor and don't read any of those books, they will not help you at all! Instead why dont you try communicating with women, it works out a lot better. And the whole intimate thing, woman (most of them) like a guy who will ask them what they like or dont like or want or dont want. Its up to her not some book! Every person is different, keep that in mind!

Answer 4

Hell no! Some of us are as freaky as we wanna be.. or the shy you never thought it'd b her types then the uptight it'll take the world to end before i have sex type. we are all different. just be your self be confident and look at other types of women you havent dealt with and dont stereotype. Getting hurt is both man and womans fear. Moreso men fear this more i say b/c they dont take many chances. No one has to play games thats what children do. A woman knows what she wants,a girl not yet, a young lady has an idea.

Answer 5

Women aren't afraid of sex, we are afraid of the idiot attached to the penis. Or at least, as James pointed out, the idiot who appears when the penis is, shall we say, paying attention?

Some general boy/girl stuff: Men are focused on activities and events. Women are focused on relationships and feelings. Men will focus on something to the exclusion of all else (they evolved doing this, focusing on something til it was dead.) Women are very aware of their physical surroundings and the needs of others (we evolved doing this - finding food and taking care of babies). This is hard wired stuff. Deep down in the animal part of the brain stuff that can't be overcome.

You'd be better off reading John Gray or Deborah Tanner to understand general differences in men and women and how they communicate rather than specific dating advice cause they'll also help you with mothers, sisters, daughters and co-workers...

Best of luck, hope it all works out for you!

Answer 6

We are not afraid of sex, it's not like if you don't hit the spot we get scared or something. We are particular about who we get sexual with and many women don't sleep around because they don't want to get hurt. For many women sex is about intimacy and we aren't afraid of that. I think you are reading the wrong books.

Answer 7

Their response is directly related to their self concept...
If they're babes - and sexually oriented - no worries but the disease realm. If they're not "total babes" - but still sexually oriented - they'd knock your socks off, and never look back - except to say, perhaps, that you were a selfish lover, as most men are (sorry, but it's true). If they're sexually oriented, not total babes (anymore), and over 45 (like moi) - they'd still knock your socks off, and be content in the morning that you were only a dream - but a damn good one. Women are afraid of being forgotten, of being used, of being remembered as a lay and nothing else. If the tables were turned, you'd be afraid too. Treat them as human first, women second, and the rest will fall into place - trust me.

Answer 8

Truth be told I am scared about sex. I've never had sex, but the thought of it scares me. What will happen when it's over? What's it going to be like with my first time? How bad will it actually hurt? ETC....

Answer 9

lol... quit reading the books.. most woman do wanna have sex and no it's not a painful process, just allot of scared woman not wanting to get hurt after...

Answer 10

Women are not afraid of sex, we are just particular on who we would like to share it with. Men are different, because they just want to get off and do not care if the woman does...see why we are so particular...?