I broke up and feel tremendously lonely! Any help?

Question

I just broke up with my boyfriend since he had been calling to his ex-girlfriend every single day and it's been hurting me so badly.

The worst point is that he was such a nice guy and the most loved person ever in my life. I've never felt "love" actually until I met him. We had dated for half a year and I tried my best to get over this problem(about his ex). He always said I'm his girlfriend but he can't stop caring about his ex at same time.

Practical example how it irretated was I can't call him but wait to get a call from him because whenever I call him, he's always on another line.

A friend of mine told me I should keep dating him if I really like him and wait until he realize how much I love him but I couldn't keep the pain whenever I think of him calling her.

If you love someone so badly, should you stay with the person no matter what? I feel unbearably lonely now that I can't focus on anything. Is there any help for those painful lonely?

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

Big question to you... Why do you think he is calling his EX?

If he still cares about the ex, it is so obvious that he isn't over her. Just from what I can read between the lines of your question, you are/were the quick fix to his loneliness.

As someone that has gone through a divorce (because I was cheated on multiple times) understand that the closer you try to get closer/clingy and save the relationship, the further he will push you away as frankly he can... he sees you emotionally crawling on your knees. After all, you suggest that you are willing to wait.

Believe me, loneliness stinks (it took me 8-14+ months to get over my 10 year marriage and still miss the relationship some days), but you need to have self pride to know that you deserve someone that can truly love you for who you are and not wanted for the temporary fix. Seems to me like he may fit that role for you too these days.

An easy solution is to ease the pain by sticking by him, but look at the long term picture. Is this type of existence the best you can do the rest of your life? I know your heart hurts now, but you have to know that there has to be something else out there. Sounds like you are young so you have time.

Stay positive and do what you know is right not what hurts the least. (big difference) In this situation it sounds like you are willing to play second fiddle to this other woman. If you were that important to him and he was truly that nice of a guy and cared about you, the other woman wouldn't be in the picture whatsoever.

Think about it. The writing is on the wall. Look at what he is doing not what he is saying. As a guy, let me tell you it is very easy to tell a woman what she wants to hear. Don't be a victim or person willing to lower her standards for some guy because he wants it all.

Answer 2

Jealousy is one thing and acting on it only pushes him to the other woman. Even if he likes you better. You sound quite young and new at relationships. Mature people are more forgiving and have greater control of their emotions. Calling his ex girlfriend is NOT fooling around. He didn't fool around. If you don't trust him then YES leave him. There are 2 ways to look at it. 1. He is MATURE enough to still be friends with his ex. (which is now you too) Or 2. If he has feelings OTHER THAN FRIENDS for his ex, then calling her COULD lead to something else. Showing him that you are the better person will keep him in your arms but it is too late for that. For loneliness, keep busy and go out with friends and stop dwelling on your problems. These mistakes are better made when you are young. Learn from them and don't repeat them. Call it experience and not failure. Time is the only cure for the pain. Keep busy... I based my advice on the fact that you said he was a nice guy. He doesn't hurt you. you choose to feel hurt. Why can't he talk to other women like his ex. He said you were his girl. Wasn't that enough. Why does everyon else say he is the bad guy. I think you jumped the gun. Loving somebody is good but staying with them no matter what, definately not. What did he do except TALK to his ex. The phone thing is not enough information to dump someone you LOVE. Do you know what LOVE is. Do you think that is easy to find and just give it up like that. Sounds like you didn't like him enough to trust him.

Answer 3

I know how you feel been there and done that, But luckily I had to great friends that was always by my side. We did stuff like dinner, movie's, shopping and just hanging out together. It is going to hurt and you will cry but at least you won;t have to do it alone. Another thing that I did was dress up really nice and make sure he saw me at least once. It always made him crazy. Plus remember with that you are now single not lonely and there is a difference chin up sister you are better off with out him if he cant see that he hurt you so bad that you left him.

Answer 4

I have also broken up with my fiance recently...it is extremely painful...but I had to do it. He had been lying to me the whole time we were together, and he did many things to hurt me...yet I stayed with him for a long time because I loved him, and still do actually. Where there is pain there can't be love, and that is what you have to realize...you should never have to settle with being second place in his life! Sometimes we need to be a tiny bit selfish and look for a man who will treat us like we deserve to be treated...love cannot be one-sided, it MUST come from both sides! Good luck, I can relate with how you are feeling....there is no cure for the pain, just hang in there!

Answer 5

Breaking up with him was the best thing to do. No you should never stay with someone no matter what. Thats ridiculous. If he has feelings for someone else still why would you want to be second choice??? Find someone else and get over him. Hes not meant for you.

Answer 6

My dear,I am going to be very straight forward with you.
Are you stupid or what?As you have said you cant call him but have to wait for him to call you,Tell me doesn't this tell you that he isnt serious with you?Its like you have to be available when he wants you to be other then that nada.
This guy isnt really worth your time.As for what your friend say well I think he or she needs a reality check in love matters.
You only date a guy who is available & wants to move on not someone who still lingers on his ex
My advice just stay clear of him go out meet other people,Yes its not easy who says it is but you have to start somewhere & that somewhere is you

Answer 7

ohh you poor thing. i have been though exactly what you have are going though. if you love the guy but he has been calling his ex that means he was just using you to get over the pain from his ex till he gets his next move on her. if he really loved you he wouldnt hurt you. remember there are many fish in the sea

Answer 8

Just sit back, get over him and start all over again. Every time I thought I had met the perfect person it all went wrong.....until I really did meet the perfect person. So don't rush everything comes to he who waits and itis not a race.

Answer 9

Don't keep dating him, his heart isn't in it and he might be cheating on you. Sounds like you might be depressed or have low self-esteem. Any man who would disrespect you like that doesn't love you and doesn't deserve you. To help with the loneliness, talk to your friends or go out and meet new people. Gain some confidence! he is not worth it!

Answer 10

Girl that means he trying to get back with his ex if not then they are already back together I know for a fact though they are going to get together though thats a for sure thing nobody talks to thier ex's without something bad happing just me.