i have a neighbor that doesn't drive and is always asking me for things. espicially cigarettes today i came home at 4pm and she stated that she has no money or cigarettes and expected me to give her half of my pack i have heard rumors abour her that she like to use people and make them feel sorry for her she is not old she is about 45-55 or so and claim that she can't walk very well but she will not hesitate to walk to the bank and cash her checks but she never ask me for anything when she has the money for the items i sometimes feel bad that i say NO to her becuz i could be in the same position in the future but i don't expect anything from anyone but she expects me to be her personal valet for whenever she want and NEVER offers any compensation at all unless there is an underlying reason she will give me a pack of cigs and then expect me to run errands for her even though by the time she pays me back she owes me a pack my question is should i feel bad about saying no to her?
2006-11-28 10:15:02 · 18 answers · asked by koolnsweett 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
She is a sponger, and if you give in she will continue to bleed you dry. ignore her.
2006-11-28 10:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Decline with a legitimate reason ie; "I'm sorry I can't, I have to pick my mother up for a doctors appointment", or "I'm on the phone with my friend who is in a lot of trouble" DONT accept packs of cigarettes from her. She'll feel she's even with you, even though she's not. She'll get the idea that you have your hands full and will eventually quit and move on to another person. Everyone has their limits as to how far they will go to get something.
2006-11-28 19:07:17 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can feel sorry for her and help her out once in a while when you have the time, but the only way people can take advantage of you is when you let them. Learn to say, I'm sorry I can't do that today or I'm sorry I only have this half pack and they have to last me until tomorrow.
2006-11-28 23:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too feel used by people like that, and I do feel bad when I turn them down. Right now someone is living in my apartment, eating my food, using my water, etc, and that's because she has no place else to go. She is a nice person, but it would be nice of her to offer me money or something to compensate for what I'm doing for her. However, I am ready to tell her to find someplace else, as she just is not taking my hints. But I know that I'll feel bad by kicking her out. Some people are users, others are what I call doormats (which is what I am) where people walk over them because they know that they can. Put your foot down, and tell them that you are not made of money!
2006-11-28 18:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by cookie78monster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this person family or not? becuse if they are there is nothing wrong in helping that individual all the time but if there comes a time when you need a helping hand from that individual and you ask more than one time for help and the answer is no, even when you know the person can help then something is definetely wrong. don't feel bad when the situation is like this.
2006-11-28 18:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by kooltiffanylookgood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not feel bad. You alone can decide what you do with your resources. Unless you are legally obligated to provide for or to another person, you are not required at any time to do so. If you are not breaking a requirement or a promise, you have no reason to feel badly about saying no.
2006-11-28 18:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by vafromks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as she isn't starving, has electricity, has gas or water, I would not help her, especially to buy cigarettes. I can see if you are going to the store and ask her if she needed milk or bread, however, for a bad habit, I would not have one guilty thread in my body for her. When we help people, we usually don't expect them to help us, it is an act of kindness, but if she can walk to the bank, it is a given she can buy those cancer sticks!
2006-11-28 18:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont feel bad at all, it is not your job to keep her in cigarettes, especially with what we pay for them. I would just duck her, or if she catches you tell her you cant do it, or spare it, whatever...you dont owe this person anything!!!
2006-11-28 18:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by pignapper1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sould feel bad about her asking you for stuff all the time.is the lady nice.if she is you can explain to her the no answer your going to say.if she does not like then fine.i sould tell you that smokeing is bad for you you can get cancer.if you have any questions.just write back.if this is not good advice tell me.
2006-11-28 18:29:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't feel bad! She is totally using your guilt and kind heart against you. Just say no (but politely, of course!)
2006-11-28 19:00:34 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy Lou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER. I didn't even read the question. The point of life is to experience joy, Never feel bad, there's no point.
2006-11-28 18:22:04 · answer #11 · answered by Answerer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋