When do you think is a good age to start having children?

Question

I will be 30 soon and several of my friends are already on their 2nd child. I am not even married but do have a long term boyfriend. Am I getting left behind or is this normal these days to have children later in life?

My boyfriend of amost 3 years is very aware that I want children, so does he. We do plan on getting married. I just feel I am ready and have been for some time now. I have a hard time being patient, but I'm willing because I can't do it alone. We will first get married, have a home, a dog, the whole nine yards before we settle down but I don't want that to take more than 5 years because I dont want to run the risk of unhelathy pregnancy after 35yrs old. Thank you all for your answers!! Oh and I would never feel pressured and try to "keep with the jones', I am really ready regardless of where my friends are in their life.

Answer 1

I had my first child at 34 and am now pregnant with my second (at 37). It is very normal these days to have children later in life. However, what you need to be concerned with is not what is "normal" or what your friends are doing, but what is right for YOU. If you and your boyfriend want to have kids, go for it. But if you are not ready for that yet, don't. If HE is not ready, don't. If you are ready but you want to be married first, don't. In short, do it when you feel it is right and don't be worried about what others are doing. A kid is not something you want to mess around with and have for the wrong reasons. You can't return them. :) They are lovely and fun and wonderful, but they are hard work and there's no going back to your single days once they arrive on the scene. If you are ready for it, good for you, have lots of fun practicing getting pregnant. If not, be a good "auntie" to your friends' kids until you're ready for your own, and don't let your friends pressure you into thinking you should have one with any inane or stupid comments.

Answer 2

I don't mean to sound like a prude but why not get married first and then your children will not have to deal with the stigma's of being born out of wedlock.But if you want to have one without getting married nobody can stop you.My best friend 37 yrs old and his wife 35 yrs old had their first child when he was 36 and his wife was 34.They waited because they wanted to buy a house before having children so you are not behind. All in all the choice is yours and yours boyfriends and after a long conversation about whether of not he will be willing to support the child equally and will he be a active parent or not. True being married is not a guaranty that he will do the right thing but again how you feel about him being a part of yours and the child's life for the foreseeable future is another question you have to ask yourself.All in all take all the time you need to decide whats best for you the child and his father because once you have a child you can't return it.

Answer 3

According to Stats Canada, the average age for the first time mother is now 30. After the age of 35, the risk for Down's Syndrome increase to about 1 in every 15 births. You should never have a baby because you feel 'you are being left behind'. Many women remain childless by choice and are happy with their decision. You will know when the time is right or not right for you. It's really a personal decision and one that should never be undertaken without serious thought.

Answer 4

Perhaps I have old fashioned thinking, but I think any age is a good age to start having a family, so long as you're married and have the money to support the child. You said you have a long term boyfriend, any reason why you haven't gotten married??? Just curious, not meaning anything by it. Since you're in a long term relationship, I'm goign to assume that marriage is not out of the question for you...if you want to have a baby, go for it...just make sure your boyfriend is agreable with it. For me, I would not want to have a baby unless I was married, because I want the stability of having 2 incomes to pay bills as well as the ability to have my time still and not constantly be watching baby... however, that's not to say that if I was in your situation wiht a long term relationship that I wouldn't consider it...I'm just saying I would prefer to be married.
I have always felt that one should have a family after they get married, however I know women are having them younger and younger all the time, like the 16 year old I went to school with who had one... I think she was foolish because in my eyes she could barely take care of herself let alone a baby.

Anyway, Good luck.

Answer 5

No, a lot of women are having children later today. My friend just had her first one and she was 30 in September. It's whenever you feel comfortable being pregnant. Don't let friends, family and the latest marketing polls sway your decision. I had mine at 23 and 25, but I always knew I wanted to have them when I was younger. Also, my doc told me that I might want to have them before 30 because it would become harder on my body after that period. If you're questioning it then perhaps you're ready to start giving it some serious thought. =)

Answer 6

on each occasion the potential mom and dad experience they're waiting, it's going to be distinctive for each individual. i do no longer believe there is any magic age for each individual. i began out having infants at 19 almost immediately once I have been given married. We have been waiting to initiate a relatives. i'm now 23 and function 2 boys, a three three hundred and sixty 5 days previous and eight month previous, and wish to initiate attempting for yet another while the youngest turns a million. we are so very pleased and does no longer have it any opposite direction!

Answer 7

a good age is when you are ready to devote yourself 100% to taking care of these kids non stop for the rest of your life. I had my kids at 22 but that meant I had to give up what most people have in their 20's. Judge the right time by whats right for YOU. I know a lot of people who had children later and they are just as happy as the younger moms...sometimes moreso actually. Don't rush it...you have to be ready to make this commitment..it's the biggest one you will ever make.

Answer 8

I think it all depends on the person not the age. I think our bodies are more equip to carry a baby and go through labor in our 20's. It's easier for our bodies to bounce back in our 20's as well. I think it's safe to say you have at least another 10 years to bear children, after 40 there are more risks involved.

Answer 9

I'm in the same position and age as you. I know how you feel. I feel like I'm out of the loop and "not with it" because I don't have children. I'm thinking by age 35 is a good time limit. After 35, certain pregnancy risks increase.

Answer 10

You dont necessarily HAVE to have a child....if your not ready then don't think that just because "everyone else" has one means you do to. I have an aunt who is 38 and was never married and never had children and no she isn't gay by the way just never found "the one" that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and share the joy of raising a child with. It's okay to be in your position and don't let anyone tell you different!