My coworker and I were discussing an issue and he said something that really made me mad. So mad I was unable to speak for a bit and finally just walked away. When I approached him again with what I wanted to say calmly mapped out, he got mad at me because he thought I had agreed with what he had said earlier and was now mad for no reason. I told him that I didn't agree with him and had to leave to calm down. He says that makes no sense at all. I just walked away again.
Do you agree with his opinion that I had agreed with him because I didn't say anything and just left? Is there some other way I should have handled it?
2006-11-28 09:26:44 · 13 answers · asked by nokhada5 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You did the right thing. It is better not to say anymore so he can't twist it and use it against you. If it is an important business manner that affects your work - be careful, if it's something he is doing wrong...then you will have to address it again wtih him. Otherwise, go to a supervisor and let them handle it for you. Document the incident (date/time, incident explanation). Keep it in your files. You never know when you'll need it. It's not important what he thinks of how you handled yourself, what's more important, what are you arguing about? If it is not work related, then drop it and move on.
2006-11-28 09:58:11 · answer #1 · answered by daff73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To quote from "Papillon", what we have here is a failure to communicate.
Walking away was a good way to avoid conflict. But it appears that you may have avoided it too well. Perhaps to make your purposes more clear, next time you could say something to the effect of, "You know what, I need a few minutes. Would you mind if we talked about this later?" And leave out the sarcasm. If your coworker insists on pushing the issue, calmly inform him that you aren't comfortable discussing the issue now and will gladly revisit it with him later, if he wants. THEN walk away.
If your purpose is to resolve the disagreement, this will work very well. But if under it all your purpose is to get the last word or get revenge, I'm afraid even actions sincere in appearance will still come through as underhanded.
My suggestion? You can't do anything about how others react. You can only control your own reactions and set the stage for a professional, cooperative interaction.
2006-11-28 09:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by vafromks 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like this guy has a problem listening to a different opinion. Your not saying anything could have been construed as an agreement, but I usually interpret someone's silence as - "Hey, I am not commenting on that". I think he is wrong for getting mad at you for setting the record straight. It also sounds like he is easily angered anyway. I wouldn't worry about his ire, but I would watch what I said around him.
2006-11-28 09:32:33 · answer #3 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying: "Silence implies consent."
However, the man must be an obtuse triangle if he could not tell you were upset and that the average person does not walk away from a conversation if s/he agrees with you.
So, given that you now know he's an obtuse triangle, the next time before walking away say, "I don't agree with you. Later."
2006-11-28 09:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Karen L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't agree with him. You were extremely cool-headed and mature to walk away and calm down and still come back to explain. I wish I could do that with my husband. I wouldn't interact too much with this guy except to be cordial and polite.
2006-11-28 09:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you must leave the room to cool off, it's probably best to say, "This part of what you just said makes me really upset, and I need to go cool off." Some people do not respect this, and this inidcates their lack of saavy at communication.
And if it is an issue that is not necessary to your work, check it at the door.
2006-11-28 10:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not taking his side, but it is your responsibility to let him know that you are still deliberating. In legal terms, silence frequently implies agreement. Next time just tell him you need some time to think. There is nothing wrong with that.
2006-11-28 09:31:52 · answer #7 · answered by shoelace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my journey, you ought to communicate overtly which include your co-workers. through sharing your artwork kind selection and asking the alternative of others, each and every of you may want to favor to make transformations on your interactions to artwork better productively jointly.
2016-10-07 22:28:20 · answer #8 · answered by coyne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the best possible thing by walking away. It's not your fault that your coworker misinterpretted your action. And it seems to me the lad needs to tame his ego.
2006-11-28 09:36:29 · answer #9 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crossed signals...it happens. Obviously he mistook your silence for agreement, and he was wrong.
2006-11-28 09:30:11 · answer #10 · answered by too funny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋