Every year I've participated in our Secret Santa gift exchange and this year I decided not to, on account that my finances are bad right now and I'd rather my kids have the extra present than someone at my office. Our office is a fairly small group and when I explained my reason, one of our more "opinionated" employees made the comment that "it would only be $10-20 but whatever". Is it wrong for me to not "spread the christmas cheer" and spend a little on someone else other than my family?
2006-11-28 09:24:52 · 12 answers · asked by AverageMom 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Nobody's arguing that gift exchanges are bad. They can be very fun and bring a sense of holiday cheer to any office. However, the bottom line is this: you don't have to explain yourself when you excuse yourself from optional office activities. Whatever your reasons, they are yours and yours alone. Your coworker should be flattered that you even bothered to share your reasons. If they refuse to react in an understanding way, that is their decision (which they aren't obligated to justify, either).
Do what you have to for you and your family. Taking this year off doesn't make you the grinch, it just means that you'll find out if it's a really important event to you, and if you want to participate in forthcoming years.
2006-11-28 09:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by vafromks 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Thank you so much for this question! in my husband's office, they have the "Secret santa" thing and God only knows who started it! Supposed to be a $10. item but every year a few people always give expensive bottles of whiskey or something too personal - always overpriced anyway. Out of the 20+ staff members, there are at least 4 who are on tight budgets , one of them a single mom and for her, even $10.00 is the difference between her having lunch money for a week, even eating those dry cuppa noodles daily. For others in the office, those with 2 incomes and no kids, spending $5 a day on lattes is no big deal so the gift exchange is just another "fun thing".You are VERY courageous and resonsible and honest for telling your coworker about your finances. and you don't need to be broke to refrain from participating. You might prefer to be saving an extra $10. for your education or car or holiday fund or your sick old mom. None of their business. If the owner there is truly responsible, maybe it is time that people were ASKED, in an anonymous suggestion manner, if they want to continue this tradition or if they'd like to all chip in anonymously for a flock of hens for an African village (www.heifer.org) or if they would like to just have a nice coffee break together before the holiday break with a treat provided by the boss. Your opinionated coworker is delusional if he thinks that $10 to $20. is "nothing" - for some people it is a lot!
2006-11-28 17:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been there. I feel that you shouldn't have to join in if you can't. I understand that you would rather spend it on your kids. So would I. I do know that we can get some nice things at our Dollar Store. You can get some pretty candles or a coffee mug for just pennies. Another idea would be a small basket, kitchen towels and a mug with either hot chocolate or tea bags. Nice gift for very little. Maybe instead of doing the Secret Santa you can bring something to a group lunch. Even a couple bottles of pop or a bag of chips would work. Good luck.
2006-11-28 17:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by I love winter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your reasoning, but also theirs.
Personally, I wouldnt want to be left out in the fun of exchanging gifts at work, when you are with them everyday. I would just find something great, that is on sale. OR depending on what the person you get for secret Santa is like, I have gone to the mall (or sears) and purchased a gift for a needing child, in that persons name. That way you are helping someone that does need it, so you feel your money is going somewhere worthwhile.
When I did it, the person whos name I did it for, was so grateful and said it was the best gift she has ever received (for secret Santa). and was so touched she cryed.
2006-11-28 17:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by Why? ... 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, I agree with you. If finances are tight and you want the gift for your kids, give it to them.
Your kids are your kids, the people you work with come and go. They are not your family.
It is probably too late for this year, but next year suggest that instead of giving to each other that your office adopt a child over seas or a local family or charity to give a gift to. Many people see 10 or $20 as a lot.
2006-11-28 17:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by starting over 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have to live with this decision either way you decide. if it's a really small office you might not hear the end of it for some time....but if you decide not to participate then remember to have your name not included to receive a gift either or the numbers will be off. And no I don't think it's wrong to spread the budget on family instead of co-workers...to be bullied into by a nosey co-worker is wrong.
2006-11-28 17:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by ncgville 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why buy anything?
Make something.
A cake, cookies. It is not the gift, it is the meaning behind the gift.
Spread Christmas cheer, even all year.
I have had bad finances once and awhile but always managed.
Shoot, if it means that much to the people in your office I will send you the twenty.
Seriously.
God Bless and let me know.
2006-11-28 17:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by dyke_in_heat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it's w"wrong" but secret santas are soo much fun and helps out the relationship in the office but yeah if they understand that you're in a hard financial spot then yeah but if you're trying to give your kids extra gifts then 20 dollars wont be much...good luck on that decision
2006-11-28 17:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by luiz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong. If money is tight then spend the money on your family...they are the most important thing in your life. $10 or $20 may not seem much to some people, but to others it can be all they have to feed their family on that week.
2006-11-28 17:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by sarch_uk 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I admire you for thinking of your kids first. Good job!!!
2006-11-28 17:33:35 · answer #10 · answered by jo_jo_baby2004 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋