isnt she suppose to love them with all her heart? why does my mother not do that? why doesnt she let me be happy, why does she make me ill and depressed and not leave me alone? why does she critisise and comment on every move i make? why is she mean? why cant she just be a mother? why does she have to have such a bad attitude. why does she make me feel suicidal? why does she not let me live? why is she not there for me when i need her? why does she not know im in pain? she makes me feela nd tries her best to make me feel as tho she never wanted me in the 1st place. as though she making me regret the fact that i was born. not my fault. i now wish i was never born!!! (for a hellish life with such a bloody mother!)
2006-11-28 09:14:10 · 17 answers · asked by allgiggles1984 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, looks to me like you've got choices to make. You can give up on your relationship with your mom, in which case you need to move on with your own life and stop letting anger eat you, or you can try to make things better. I'm guessing your Mom actually cares, or she wouldn't nag. She may love you but doesn't tell you. I think the best way to sort things out with her is to communicate, and if talking turns into arguing, then try writing down how you feel in a letter for her to read and then respond to. Don't forget you mom will have feelings on this matter one way or another and if she and you manage to get to sit down and talk about everything then you might be very surprised by what she has to say. I would definately give this a go before deciding to give up on your relationship with her.
2006-11-28 21:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like the teenage years to me.
You need to relax as it is fairly normal to feel like this about your parents, however, sorry to have to let you know you have got this all wrong.
From the sounds of it, your mother is suffering from loving you so much, that she has become a nag. Critising and commenting on your every move is a sure sign of someone feeling sick with worry about you. Mothers are humans too and because you both aren't getting along, the frustration will lead people to react in this negative way.
Do you critise her as well? You need to stop playing the blame game and realise that your mother is probably crying out for love as much as you ,so why don't you give her a hug and see what happens. Chances are, you too will be able to talk openly without the anger.
2006-11-28 09:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by Big Sis 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever thought what it might be like to be your mum? I can only think that you should take time to look at every why? that you asked and try to think of the answer yourself - then take some more time to sit down and talk to your mum- you may be surprised to learn that she has a list too. There are very few mothers who don't love the children they give birth to - they may not like them and how as individuals they develop but they still love them. Seek your real Mum - think how it might be if she were gone forever.
2006-11-28 09:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
let me guess....you are a teenager or in your early 20's. Take it from someone who hated her mother during that time and has come to love her more than anyone. What you hear is criticism...what she hears is motherly advice. I am a mother (and only 26 before you dismiss me) and I can see how a mom can push her child hoping to lead them the right way. Mother's want whats best for their kids and for them to be happy..but maybe what you think makes you happy is dangerous or will cause you problems. Try to put yourself in her shoes..ask her to do the same for you.
2006-11-28 09:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by Farah G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you are suffering, its obvious, from depression. Your feelings of separation from your Mothers love, while very real, show great anxiety in your relationship with her. Yes, of course a Mother's love is the deepest, but sometimes, a Mother, ill equipped for Motherhood, may release her own feelings of inadequacey, depression and so on, making you the reason she is so unhappy with her life, why her own life it out of control, in an attempt to spread the blame for her own lack. I suggest you contact a trusted teacher, counselor or adult in your life who will listen to you and help you get help so you don't pass this dysfunctionality onto your own children. Your Mother should not be so highly critical as to make you stop trying, so acutely aware of your every move and how wrong it always is, but she maybe parrotting her own bad parent tapes from her own parents. Parents normally parent the way they learned (even knowing those techniques did not work for them) because that is what they know. Break the cycle, seek help for yourself and if things work out, you may be able to obtain help for your Mom, but you first ok? OKAY! You sound like a very bright, sensitive child that is most deserving of functional Mother who supports you and helps you, but sometimes, because of a parents own shortcomings, they are not able to help you or themselves. Please seek help, you are worth saving my dear! Good luck!
2006-11-28 09:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all you dont say how old you are, but never the less ill try and answer it. it sounds to me that your not the one who needs help its your mother. you havent said whether your dad still lives there because if he doesnt it could be that your mom can see your dad in you and their relationship was not a great as they made people believe so she is taking all her anger out on you hun. i know this because when i was in a voilent relationship my daughter looked the spit of her dad and i was pushing her out little by little but i didnt realise people were telling me that i was going to lose her but it didnt sink in until one day my daughter was going with this lad and he treated her the same way in which my ex treated me and it was then i realised how i needed to be there for her and if she lost her mothers love there would be no one else for her to run to and now we have a wonderful relationship, im not surggesting to do something to hurt your mom but carry on with your life and show her that you will get to your goals in life and this is not going to get you down. i know its going to be hard with out your mothers support but at least you can hold your head up high. good luck hun
2006-11-29 08:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by kjw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously suffering from some form of depression honey and need treatment. Whilst your mum may not help how you are feeling I doubt she is the only cause and may even be part of the solution. Get yourself to the G.P and get referred to a mental health unit so they can help you. No-one likes to admit to metal ill-health, but the sooner you can the better you will feel. Trust me there are people out there who care. Good luck and bless you.
2006-11-28 09:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by maria bartoninfrance 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must get some help or leave home there must be somewhere where you can go, I do sympathise with you my mother is very selfish and wants to control my life, they are very good at emotional blackmail and can make you feel guilty if you do not jump to their commands. Tell her that you cannot continue living like it any more and that she is making your life hell. Good luck.
2006-11-28 10:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You poor thing. What a lot of feelings you've been bottling up. Could you print your question out and leave it for you mother to find? You do deserve better, you're right. It isn't fair, is it? I wish I could share my mother with you, who isn't perfect but who tries her best.
2006-11-28 09:18:01 · answer #9 · answered by Older&Wiser 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel terribly sorry for you but you know it works both ways --
why do sons and daughters sometimes make a mother feel like she has wasted her life bringing them up and then they ignore her like mine have done.
2006-11-28 09:21:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋