Couples, honestly are these questions you have asked each other before you got married?
Religion, Finances, Compatability when obstacles come, Furthering Education or profession during marriage, how you will raise your children, your likes and dislikes? Please be honest in answering this. Is there any I left out?
2006-11-28 08:54:56 · 13 answers · asked by DREENA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
They should be. Plus a zillion more. We are so caught up in the romance of marriage, we forget that it is s-e-r-i-o-u-s. We don't want to talk about these things.
And we can always get a divorce, right? Even when both parties agree it isn't working out it still causes immeasurably emotional damage.
Here are a few from my arsenal:
What will you do when you find you cannot agree?
Who will be responsibile for paying the bills and keeping the checkbook?
What is your attitude toward children?
What would you do if you cannot conceive children of your own?
How often do you want to invite people to your home?
Where will you spend Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter? How will you decide?
2006-11-28 09:31:40 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course! My lover and I have talked about many of these things and gone threw a few. We've been living together for a couple of years. We've also talked about some of the things that your answerers suggested. My mother still wants us to do 'premarital counselling' though. Probably because she doesn't know or realise that we live together and because she calls it a 'spiritual requirment' whatever that means I don't know, but we are having a church wedding.
The only one we haven't talked about is how we will raise children because our conversation went like this. He says - "I never want kids." I say " Good, because I hate babies and there is no way that I'm going to let my body be a housing unit for 9 months." The thought that either of us could possibly change our mind about children is so repulsive that talking about it would cause nausea, vomitting and severe dizziness. We have discussed that if one of us changes our minds, we will have to do live with the fact that there will be no babies.
2006-11-28 11:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, we didn't exactly ask each other a list of questions... But as you develop a closer relationship with someone, these things come up, and get discussed. Of course, you can't think through every possible scenario; many things remain flexible. The main thing is assessing the other person's character in general, and how well your two personalities and communication styles mesh together.
2006-11-28 09:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, get premarital counseling. Ours had us do a survey thing that covered all those things and more. Then the counselors had a baseline on where we were at. They told us we'd need at least 6 sessions, and we were finished in 3, so we did cover most of the bases on our own. And most churches won't marry you without it. Look into it though. It's well worth the money!
2006-11-28 10:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I talked about it. It's the smart thing to do since all of those issues will come up at some point. Its best to resolve them before marriage just in case some of them you are just not compatible on!
2006-11-28 09:43:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well have you broken down each issue and discussed the many aspects of them? Did you discuss what you would do if one of you went out of control with the money? What you would do if you had a child with special needs? How you would deal with the division of labor?
2006-11-28 09:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i seriously talked, and i mean talked about everything we cared about and that came to mind for months before we even started dating. at that point i felt like i was dating my best friend. by the time we married, i knew everything about him, and he about i. i knew how he felt about children, his past, his religion, his feelings on controversial issues, what his hopes and dreams were. we've not had any problems in 2 years of marriage & 4 years of being together total.
2006-11-28 12:21:07 · answer #7 · answered by kiki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you forgot sex if it hasn't been taken care of. what your expectations, needs, wants. I only say this as from a lot of the questions, on this site it wasn't talked about. this is very important and needs to be discussed fully
2006-11-28 09:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shoudl discuss anything that may impact your marriage:
- future plans (including children)
- religion
- goals for the future
- expectations, etc
2006-11-28 14:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We didn't think about it or talk about it.
Should we have? Yes.
Have any of these been much of an issue? No not really.
2006-11-28 09:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by pj_gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋