I really miss my ex badly and he knows this. Him and I both went through a pretty bad divorce.. well we went out for 8 months and I left and ran and froze ( I was confused ). We have talked since... He knows that I want him back.. I have sent a card and stuff like that.. If I call him he answers the phone and we talk about everyday life and stuff. When I tell him I miss him and I want things like they used to be he tells me this - " I need to focus on myself right now.. I'm having money issues and I need time and space before I have time for any relationship"
Well I know hes not giving me a line of bull ****. I know I hurt him and yes he is going through some issues..
I guess my question is - do I just give up?? How do you give up when you know he really cares?! I asked him straight up " do you want me to fall off the face of the earth?" AND his answer was- " Why would you say that... I just need time right now"
Any suggestions-- serious ones?
2006-11-28 08:40:53 · 16 answers · asked by sassy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He needs time. Simple as that. So respect his wishes and give it to him. He'll love you later for it.
2006-11-28 08:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be a friend first then a lover later. He is hurt and he needs time to make sure that you won't go away again. He is also giving you time to make sure you want to be with him and won't run off again. He is basically giving you what you gave him. The band aid was riped off to fast and the wound is fresh. He needs to get things in his life in order, you owe him that. That fact that you two still feel something for each other is a very good sign, just let it slowly develop again. Be there for him when he needs someone and take baby steps toward a nice and happy relationship. Time will tell if it will work out for your relationship but you must go slow but steady. Inch your way back to him. He will figure it out that you are there to stay and so will he.
2006-11-28 08:49:06 · answer #2 · answered by Karen A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be patient and give him the time he needs to get his life back in order and in control. If you try to rush things along too fast, then you risk losing him forever because if you two get back together before the time is right and his act isn't together, then your relationship will fall apart again because all the other issues will certainly cloud good judgement. He's telling you that he needs to love himself before he can love anyone else, and he doesn't want the lack of time, money or truthful feelings destroy a relationship again. Give him time and help him to work towards his goal, that's what being in a long-term relationship is all about......compromising and work!!!!!
2006-11-28 08:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by "N"saysable 1iric 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up. Be there for him, be his friend. Trust me, guys do like this.
Dont' push too hard, just accept that he is taking time, give him the space. If he calls, talk, if you call him and he wants to talk great, if not, then simply let him go, don't show any emotion.
Look at it this way, if you guys continue to talk, you'll have something and if it never gets back to a relationship, at least you will have a freind out of it, hopefully a close friend who cares about you.
Good luck.
2006-11-28 08:44:47 · answer #4 · answered by jairman2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have the stones to just say it. Still, even after a divorce, he is struggling to just say what he feels. He can't bring himself to hurt your feelings.
Guys know what they want so all that stuff about money, time and space is just an excuse to avoid having to face the brutal fact. It's over. At this point, he knows how you feel. If he wants to pursue you, then he knows where to find you.
It is time to just live life and let nature take its course. You never know who you might meet tomorrow, but if you remain hung-up on this, you'll not be open to explore the future. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life...enjoy!
2006-11-28 08:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by seattlego 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just keep things as they are. You hurt him, and he is having issues, for some reason Men think it's better to handle issues on their own, and then make time for you. It would be better for him if he'd let you be there for him now. Anyway, don't give up, he'd tell you to bug off if you were bothering him.
2006-11-28 08:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by Jan S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is that i think you need to give yourself some time, there's other things in life besides a man, i think you should give him some space and time to think about it, and you need to think about it to. You shouldn't be dependant on a man either, you build you self esteem, and show you him you mean business, hes in a bad situation and you're asking him for him. Give him and yourself some time. Be patient and he will come back to you.
2006-11-28 08:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by Ankit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him have his time atleast he is still talking to you and showing u that he isnt just blowing u off! ask him questions like once u settle what u are going through do you think you would like to start dating again..make sure he knows u arent trying to rush things but are just trying to take things slow...good luck:)
2006-11-28 08:44:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never give up! That is for sure. Just give him time, and try to be there for him, if anything be a friend everyhting will work out the way they are supposed to good luck!!!
2006-11-28 08:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by ReRe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give it some time if its going great now wait on it if hes the right one youll get him back
2006-11-28 08:44:12 · answer #10 · answered by buggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋