She is 4 yrs old and in pre-k. There are some girls picking on her in her class. The teacher tells me that my daughter backs away and sometimes cries.
I don't know what advice I should give her. I'm thinking about telling her to stand up for herself and maybe it would put those mean girls in their place. But I don't want her to become a bully herself.
I asked my friends for advice regarding the matter and they tell me not to do anything that they are just kids. But I'm afraid that it would have repercussions in the future (I remember reading some freudian thing regarding childhood suppresed memories or something).
I want my daughter to grow up to be a strong confident woman. I don't want her to be a timid, weak person (I shutter to think of some ****** trying to control her, or worst yet beat her when she gets married).
What should I do guys? Should I take her to a child psychologist?
Any and all advice welcomed, thank you.
2006-11-28 08:24:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
My daughter is a bit older but I think this advice applies. I've made a point of stressing the importance of expressing herself. If she doesn't like what a person is doing or saying to her, she has to speak for herself in an unmistakable way. " I don't like it when you call me names. I want you to stop it." (Specific action that she doesn't like + the specific thing she wants to happen) If it doesn't, tell her that she is to tell the teacher. It now becomes the teacher's responsibility to step in (she's aware of the situation but you don't mention her getting involved) If the teacher doesn't, you need know why. Your little one may be shy but you can practice this together (thru role playing) until she's comfortable. In the end, she has to be able to fend for herself & she also has to know it's okay to walk away from them. ("If that how you're going to act, I'm going to leave now.")
2006-11-28 11:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by L. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, a psychologist is not the answer here. What needs to be done here is to teach her how to stand up for herself without necessarily becoming a bully.
Find out which girls are bullying her and call their parents. Give them the "what for" and tell them what their kids are doing. If you take it up with the school, they won't do a thing about it so you have to go directly to the parents of the bullies.
2006-11-28 08:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask the teacher to intervene- maybe she can distract the other girls without making a fuss and calling attention to your child. If these other girls have a history of agressive behavior, your girl, who is more laid back, may just be one of several victims. Let the teacher advise you how to proceed- she know these other girls too.
2006-11-28 08:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would Tell her to ignore them but when it get's too far to draw the line. ia little push and shove is ok but constantly it needs to be handled. Have her stand up for herself and if shes learned of what happens from bullies than she wont become one
2006-11-28 08:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by mary H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the school tell the little winches that if they continue to bother your daughter you will have to beat their mommies up. your daughter will be fine as long as you love her and tell her she's the best; she will grow up to be a very successfull,peaceful woman. Hug your daughter and do things with her, anything they truly love us unconditionaly; I have a 7yr old daughter and I had to go to the school and tell the little girls that I'm very upset that you are picking on my daughter would you like for me and your mommie to fight and your mommie hurt because of your rudeness.
2006-11-28 08:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 14. this happend to me in kindergarten. i stood up to my self, and the girls actualy came to be my friends after ward! just tell her to tell them how she feels. take her shopping for a new outfitt to it will help her confidence too when the day comes.
2006-11-28 08:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put her in some martial arts classes. Not only will they teach her martial arts moves and ways to protect yourself, but they will teach her self respect and boost her self esteem. She'll probably even make friends while in those classes :)
2006-11-28 08:28:02 · answer #7 · answered by Holly W 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should kneel down to her height when she tries to speak to you. Tell her that she should ignore those mean jerks. Use encouraging words to help her feel better.
2006-11-28 08:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by Spongy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly i would recommend some kind of physical discipline.
probably martial arts like judo for kids to build her confidence.
also consider dance or gymnastics lessons. physical confidence will be good.
2006-11-28 08:27:55 · answer #9 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋