i made the biggest mistake in my life by breaking up with my x. It took a long time to relize the pain that i caused her. Now i have found out what it feels like. I went to her house last night and stood in the rain for an hour untill she got home and i spilled my heart out to her. And she said that she doesn't know if i could ever have another chance. I know it will take time to prove that i can be trusted again. I really do love her with all my heart and i would do anything to have her back. I need to know some little things that i could do to be a good trustworthy person. In the meen time there is another guy but she is just kinda talking to him. I really don't want to loose her. Please help me out.
2006-11-28 08:23:17 · 16 answers · asked by Dougw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dude, you need to get a grip. not sure what you can do but don't keep pressuring her. it'll just push her away. best thing you can do is better yourself. let her see that you've become a better person. make her realize that she's the one losing out by not getting back to you. if she doesn't then it's her loss.
2006-11-28 08:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by phantasmo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to show her with actions, not words alone. And if she does start to come around, you can't expect that it will automatically cancel out her doubts and everything will be as they were before. Don't forget something when you're with a woman, they are with you because they want to be, not because they have to be. You have to make someone want to stay with you. Having them is not the same as keeping them. But what is the real reason you want her back? Because she is considering another guy? Because she is now a challenge? Don't even ask her to come back to you if you can't do right by her. Unless you are positive you will be loyal to her and work on the relationship, don't ask her to come back. That is too much emotional torture- she would end up hating you for that. You have to understand something- when you are dealing with a woman in a relationship, a woman seeks security. Men and women think differently on certain things, so again, don't assume she sees a relationship like you do. You ripped her security out from under her feet. That is a major no-no with a woman. That won't help your cause one bit. If you do win her back, and you have an argument in the future, don't drive away, slam a door and seclude yourself in another room, or threaten to leave her. Those actions will bring up the old insecurities and after you think the fight is over, she will harbor that in her mind, and it will fester, and come to an ugly head one day that you won't want to deal with. The best thing you can do right now is tell her you were stupid and you don't know what you were thinking, and that she is the best thing that ever happened to you, and you are willing to do whatever she needs you to do to make things right. If she doesn't come around right then, then tell her that you are going to wait as long as it takes, and you will be waiting for her when she is ready. She may feel threatened also because she may feel that another woman was your motivation for breaking up with her. If I were you, I would go talk to a counselor by yourself, explain things to the counselor, and ask for advice. Then tell her you are seeking help to get your thinking back on track. Don't tell her you will go IF she goes back to you. Go anyway, and tell her afterward. Tell her you went to get yourself straight, you know you were wrong, and you would do that to improve yourself, even if she doesn't come back to you. That would mean more to her that way. Remember, actions, not just words. As my Mama always told me, "The proof is in the pudding."
2006-11-28 08:41:12 · answer #2 · answered by antiquegirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you have to understand that when a women gets hurt its is not easy to forgive because we always put so much into relationships and its heart breaking to know that we are not appreciated. if she is talking to someone it's because she is ready to move on. you had your chance and you didn't do much with it. however i do believe people can change there minds and hearts. the only thing you can do is to stop begging her and act like the person she fell in love with. don't push her in to anything, this is going to take sometime! Good Luck!
2006-11-28 08:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is give her some time and some space to get her feelings together. you told her how you feel about her and the mistake you made. i would maybe write her a letter and let her know again how sorry you are and that you will not pressure her and will give her time and that you will be waiting on her. best of luck to you both
2006-11-28 08:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by jamaicagirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends what you did...if you cheated, then it's over. She will not take you back. If she did, that would be her mistake. If you distanced yourself emotionally somehow, then you need to work on that with her and keep talking to her, without being a stalker. Maybe she'll realize how much you love her. Send her flowers or something.
2006-11-28 08:26:37 · answer #5 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really messed up you might have to take the fall. Also depending how much time you have been apart remember the saying out of sight out of mind. You can try talking to her. Ask her if she will meet you for dinner as friends. Then you can try to talk to her. Just don't pressure her.
2006-11-28 08:27:53 · answer #6 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ought to not in any respect communicate about someone you've emotions for, or each and every human being for that count number, in the back of their decrease back. i wager i do not realize why you may want to ignore about someone you want.
2016-10-07 22:24:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look my friend you should put in your mind to win her back as afriend at first
give her a good chance to trust you again
donot confuse yourself by this new guy
donot discuss your fault and donot give explanations
try to open anew page of your relationship
and lastly be patient!
2006-11-28 08:49:41 · answer #8 · answered by abuamar85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to build the trust back.
takes time, sometimes you can and sometimes you can't.
depends on what bridges you burned I think
I don't trust my wife anymore, or my antiwife either that much. Maybe I find out why I don't trust em soon.
2006-11-28 08:27:43 · answer #9 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay close friends with her, and hang out with her. Let her know you still care, and still want to be friends. Ask her to just give you one more date and then she can decide if she wants to date you or not, and let her know if she decides not to date you then you still wanna be friends so she'll know you really care.
2006-11-28 08:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋