The Jehovah Witness's just told me that...?

Question

I am of the 144,000 that will be let into heaven. However, if I don't lose weight I will take up two seats and keep someone else from going to heaven. I don't want to condemn someone to hell ...Should I start dieting?

Fat-Chic think Papa Bear need to get laid.

Answer 1

Your ignorance of JWs is showing. Members of the Bride Class are not treated any different from anyone else. In fact, they are servants to everyone else. Most have died off in the last ten years, so it is rare to even find one in a congregation anymore. When I was young there would be 2-3 to a congregation. No new ones have come forward, even those facing their last days of this life, such as my stepfather.

If you're going to come up with something completely asinine about JWs, you really should be your homework better.

Answer 2

Hey, it's an administrative body, not a carnival ride. It you get the votes too, go for 3 or 4! Chow down and flab on!

Answer 3

The vast majority of Witnesses hope to enjoy life ON EARTH forever, rather than in heaven.

Jehovah's Witnesses understand heaven to refer to the dwelling place of spirit creatures such as Jesus and the angels. They understand the Scriptures to teach that exactly 144,000 humans will join Christ Jesus as kings and priests to administer God's Kingdom (which will soon replace all earthly governments).
(Daniel 2:44) God of heaven will set up a kingdom... It will crush and put an end to all these kingdoms, and it itself will stand to times indefinite
(Revelation 14:1) Lamb [Jesus] standing upon the Mount Zion, and with him a hundred and forty-four thousand
(Revelation 20:6) they will be priests of God and of the Christ, and will rule as kings with him

Over whom will they rule? Over the vast majority of mankind, most of whom will have been raised from the dead after Armageddon.
(John 11:23,24) Jesus said to her: “Your brother will rise.” Martha said to him: “I know he will rise in the resurrection on the last day.”

Hell is NOT someplace/something mankind needs to fear; there is no suffering in the grave. Sometime after the resurrection, death and "hell" will themselves be destroyed.
(Ecclesiastes 9:5) For the living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all
(Ecclesiastes 9:10) there is no work nor devising nor knowledge nor wisdom in Sheol ["hell"]
(Revelation 20:14) And death and Hades ["hell"] were hurled into the lake of fire


Almighty Jehovah God selects those few who have the heavenly calling. Each person "feels" his own hope and each person's hope remains unquestioned by his fellow Christians. Still the vast majority (literally more than 99.9%*) of Jehovah's Witnesses expect an EARTHLY hope, the same hope given to Adam and Eve.
(Genesis 1:28) God blessed them and God said to them: “Be fruitful and become many and fill THE EARTH and subdue it [caps added]
(Genesis 2:17) You must not eat from it, for in the day you eat from it you will positively die [so never eating from that tree means never dying]

Learn more:
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2000/10/1/article_02.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2000/10/1/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/library/jt/index.htm

Answer 4

I nearly snorted cola out of my nose....

Just like on an airplane - if you take up two seats, you gotta pay for two seats.. That mean extra trips to the confessional booth for you!!! :)

Answer 5

Get as fat as you want. Most of us JW's aren't the least bit interested in going to heaven and not one of us believes in hell...isn't free will great? you can do whatever you want...

want a cookie?

Answer 6

144,000 are yet future of the twelev tribes of Israel, all males
see The Book of Revelation

Answer 7

Your Father is a liar and so are you.

Answer 8

QUIT LYING THEY DID NOT TELL YOU ANY SUCH THING SHAME ON YOU YOU IGNORANCE OF THEM AND OF THE SCRIPTURES ARE APALLING GORBALIZER

Answer 9

Never, you sexy thang

Answer 10

now that's funny