Suspicious of boyfriend?

Question

I think i may have reasons to be suspicious of my new boyfriend. He's a really great guy,kind,loving and treats me well. But when i was with him yesterday his ex girlfriend kept phoning him and leaving him voicemails. She's only become like this since she found out he was dating someone else(me),but they split up months ago and she cant seem to let go. Anyway,me and my bf work in the same building and i was in a room by myself and i heard him outside talking on his phone, he was saying things like,'we will meet for lunch next saturday' and he seemed like he was trying to be secretive and i could'nt hear everything what was said. You may think i'm being jealous but my ex bf cheated. Should i wait and see if he mentions it or if he doesnt see me next saturday i'll know right?

Answer 1

Ouch... if I were you I would definitely ask about it... just kind of lean ito it with questions like, "why were you outside talking on the phone?" "who were you talking to earlier?" Or go straight out and ask him who he is going to lunch with next saturday and when he is at lunch give him a small phone call. You have every right to be concerned I know I would be. Normally when a girl becomes suspicious of her boyfriend she is usually about 60-80% right about what's going on so definitely ask him about it before you drive yourself crazy. Leave him if he is keeping into too much touch with his ex. It'll become a lot of trouble in the end. Good Luck.

Answer 2

I think I'd be suspicious too under the circumstances. I think you should ask him directly what (if any) unfinished business he has with his ex-girlfriend and see how forthcoming he is. If he doesn't volunteer information about meeting her next saturday for lunch, ask if to take you to lunch that day and see how he responds. If he's evasive and seems to be hiding information from you, tell him you have decided that you no longer want to continue dating. You owe him no further explainations, and although it may be painful it would be better to know sooner rather than later that he cannot be faithful. You also may want to clarify with him that it was your understanding that the relationship would be exclusive. You don't want to use the sins of an ex-boyfriend to guage his faithfulness, but you have been through this experience before and know it's not any fun. Get everything out in the open and go from there. Good Luck

Answer 3

You have every right to feel the way you do. But I am wondering how long you guys have been dating and is it fully understood that it is a closed relationship?...men are funny about that point at times. If I was in your shoes. I would be up front and let him know that you dont like the idea of the ex calling him. Let him know you are not the jealous type, but you dont take bullcrap either. You like him and hope he likes you the same. Let him know you dont have time for childish games and if he isnt into the relationship like you are ..then say so. Dont be too harsh when you talk to him,,, just say how you feel and what you expect....if he cant handle that...then he has the problem. I would ask him what he had going on Saturday . good luck!

Answer 4

Personally, I think it's wrong of him to speak to her in a secretive way. YOU are his girlfriend, and his ex is nothing but trouble. Women are evil -- they always want a man more if another woman wants him too. And here he is feeding into it -- he loves the fact that he has two women pining after him. And he doubly loves the fact that he's making his ex jealous. Either way, he's being an ***.

I don't think it's wrong at all to ask him to choose. If he cannot imagine cutting off communication with her, then it's always going to be a problem. And even if you say or do nothing, the fact alone that you're upset about it will strain your relationship and force him into the ex's arms.

Answer 5

Ask if he has plans for that Saturday and see what he says. Tell him you were going to make plans for the two of you to do something. There are signals you can tell if he is lying to you or not. If he has cheated before there is a chance he is cheating again. If he broke up with her there was a reason for that, but if she broke up with him he may still have feelings for her. He just may want to meet her and tell her to back off and he doesn't want to worry you. If you are really concerned with the phone conversation ask him about it but do it gently as you don't want him to feel that you are spying on him. If it comes to it call her and talk with her about it, she may be jealous and that old saying if I can't have him - no one will. There are plenty of reasons for his sneakiness. Talk with him.

Answer 6

You can't rightly blame him for his ex bein a tramp, she only wants him back because he has found someoneelse. About the phone coversation, just play it cool see if he mentions it if not on Friday try and make lunch plans for Saturday, not over the phone face to face, and depending on what he says or how he says it you will know, look him directly in the eyes. The eyes are windows to the soul.

Answer 7

AHHHH i have been cheated on by every guy i have been with. the last one couldnt just say no to his ex's so he kept fooling around with them. Definitely see what his plans are for saturday. I would say if hes not willing to change his number or do something to make sure the girl is history, then get rid of him. they dont need to be friends especially if it makes u uncomfortable, she is an ex for a reason....he needs to cut all ties!

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

We are creatures of habit.

You mentioned that your ex boyfriend cheated on you. Now this guy seems to be cheating on you. Did your dad cheat on your mom? It may seem like a leap to say that, but we all live by what we learn. You just may be subliminally attracted to guys who are not reliable in committment. It's not your fault; you can't help it that a little bit of the "bad boy" personna you are attracted to.

I suggest that you approach him directly as to what you overheard. If he seems hesitant, blushes, becomes defensive, then that is your answer - time to move on.

Answer 9

maybe you should try and find a way to mention to him that you heard him talking with somebody about next saturday. if he is very honest and straightforward, he can tell you right away what is going on with no problem. however, if he is indeed trying to do something secretive, he will be hesistant to say anything. hope everything works out for you

Answer 10

Maybe you could tell him that you over heard him and his ex talking yesterday on his phone. Or just ask him to lunch on Saturday and just see what happens.