What if I want to cry every time I see my ex?

Question

This September I've broken up with my boyfriend with who we were together for 2.5 years. I've done this by myself because I thought I didn't love him any more and also because we quarreled hard sometimes. Well, it was so that at first I stopped sleeping with him because I was not sure of my feelings and then he told me he would never be with a girl who doesn't sleep with him and he broke up. But when we were together we always used to be good friends, so I couldn't imagine that he could stop talking to me after the break up. It's so hard. We study together on all our classes and I don't even want to go to the university because of this. When I see him I always want to cry because I remeber how good it was once. Does this mean I love him? How do you think? I am not sure because I look for guys on-line and actually like some I've met there but I don't like anybody else in real life now. And after the break up he stopped talking to me, he only tells me Hi and Bye sometimes. Does this mean he still likes me? I don't know again. We see each other almost everyday when I go to the university but I go there rarely exactly because of this reason. And every time I see him I want to cry. I can't understand how he can not to speak even a little to me. He was my best friend! Tell me what do you think of all this please! Or are such reactions normal for the break up? There is also the reason that he is very bright student and all the teachers knew we were dating and were happy for us but now some started to look at me bad, others try to make us to sit together... And some other bright student started to look bad on me too. That's why I don't want to go there too! And also we always studied together and he helped me with everything but now I have to study by myself and it's very hard for me because I am doing my masters in math and that's just very hard. So I started studying much worse. Tell me everything you think on this situation please!!!
Thank you very much,
Maria

Answer 1

It seems that u dont love him but u miss him, 2 and a half years with a person is a long time, he was not only your bf but also your best friend, and i think thats what u miss so much about him, he helped you do everything just like a friend would do like help u study, your life has changed since you've not been together and hey you probably you were happy with him but u just didnt love him. Your in the worst time of the breakup, you're still trying to get use to life how it is now but your still in d beginning... if i were u i'd still go to uni even if he is there, try hand out with your friends even at uni, try stay with a friend in class, but dont ignor him talk to him like your still friends, by time things will get better, wanting to cry when u see him is probably because u miss him, its a normal reaction. and just because u talk to ppl online and u dont like any of them it doesnt mean that there is no right guy out there for u

Good luck :)

Answer 2

Oh Maria,

Two and a half years is a long time. You have so many mixed thoughts now whether you did the right thing, and time alone does not help, perhaps even without a friend now who would listen to you.

Don't forget you had relentless arguments before you broke up. As soon as you said no sex, he was history. After all how could you have sex the way you felt from your arguments. Then just like that its over, and most likely you thought you could continue to be friends. How could he cut you off emotinal friendship just like that.

Its just plain difficult to think and feel the same as another person. Plus its quite a surprise to discover what others can actually do. You erroneously assumed you both could at least remains friends.
It's never good for us to guess or assume what another person is thinks or will do. Maybe that's the lesson in this relationship.
Plus its very hard to study and move on alone. But it may be in time your studies will be the only thing to carry you through and you will be happy you continued on. Studies will actually help you pull through this sad period.

Answer 3

I've been working at a place for about 2 years now, and last year my ex started working there. She acts so much there is nothing left and that the 7 years we were going together off-and-on was nothing. I have to see her everytime I work there and it hurts but I refuse to feel helpless and therefore, everytime I start feeling sorry for myself I think about ANYTHING I can do at the moment to work on MYSELF and improve my life. I use to try and couldn't come up with anything, it would feel so pointless but I never gave up...I didn't have a choice because it was either that or total depression over this girl who'd managed to steal my heart and run away with it. I refuse to be a victim! You should also refuse to be brought down by this situation and see it as an opportunity to do everything for yourself! And I don't care what anyone tells you, that's not being selfish because you can't help anyone else if you can't help yourself, right? God Bless and promise things will be just fine.

Answer 4

Keeping in contact with an ex is a difficult thing to do. I was once married but I made a complete break from him. He was never a very good friend to me so that should have told me something. If I ever see him I probably wouldn't recognize him nor would he recognize me, I hope but I have no desire to get in contact with him. Another ex-b/f I felt almost the same as you wrote. It took me months to be able to go into the store where he worked cause I didn't know how I might react if I were to see him. Now if I see him I don't speak but take a look and go along my way. I understand from what my mother told me my ex b/f would stare at me with my now b/f. It took me along time to be comfortable even with the possibility of seeing my ex b.f but now I don't care. He was my past, we even tried to make a connection again but it didn't last. The first break up should have told me something ! Just hold your head high when you see him. I know it can be difficult but you need to exude confidence and charm. As for whether or not you love him, only you can answer that but it sounds like you reminisce because of the difficult place you find yourself. Don't let the break-up interfere with your education. Keep yourself busy, look for a new study partner. One thing I found out after being without a b/f for awhile as long as I was having fun and living my life, the potential b/f's started coming to me. Nothing is more of a turn off than a desperate woman looking for a partner. Good luck, I've been where you are now and I got past it.

Answer 5

go somewhere private cry and let it out. Listen to some sad music (not anthing you listened to with him) and crying a lot helps you feel better. It's really healthy to cry, studies have shown this. Also when your sick of crying tell a family member or close friend how u feel. The biggest part of moving on is finding new ways of being validated that that other person used to fill and no matter how much it hurts it can and must be done. If you feel the problem is too big or hurts too much see a psychiatrist. There's no shame in that at all and you can be proud that you care about you.

Answer 6

I don't think it's ok to cry over your ex. Obviously you are still in love with him. How do you expect to move on if you are still crying over your ex. The best thing to do before your now boyfriend gets hurt is decide who you want to be with. You may even decide you want to be alone for awhile to take time to think about things or just to enjoy time alone. Good Luck

Answer 7

Maria,
i know exactly how you feel! i feel like the guys on tv or in computer are 1000 times better than anyone you'll ever find in real life. you know why. like if you seem someone walking in the hall maybe you think you could love them. its because once they open their mouth and you get to know them, you'll just be disappointed because they are just human and not at all what you thought they were in your mind. that's why it's so hard to find someone in real life that you can be with for very long because guys are freaking annoying and full of bullshit and problems. We can't find any good men because all the good men already have boyfriends. Hang in there girl, I'm sure you'll get over this in time. i know it seems so distant right now and you can't see your way out, but trust in God and time will heal all wounds. trust me, time dissipates the pain.

Answer 8

well everything you are feeling is very normal in most brake ups. First... you should not depend on him for your studies. You are in school for you not for him!! Its all in your head!! im sure you are a very smart girl and you dont need him to study!! Second... Its your body!! If you dont want to have sex then it does not need to be done!! you can say no whenever you feel and if he dont understand that... then you dont need him at all! If he really feels the way he says then he would have waited for you!! but his not willing to do that!! Third... Dont dwell over him!! you need to go to school and get your s**t together. Dont let him mess up your school! forth... ya you might love him!! but love isn't enough!!! you will love again (no dought) you lose and you gain. You might have a broken heart but it will heal!! Stop looking for love just let it come to you! put all that energy in your studies! Apryl

Answer 9

Love Urself more than life itself, respect U above all, tell yourself U R better than life's situations & he’s not Ur husband, so sleep alone. A man doesn’t have the authority to make U happy or complete you. U r 1 that possess all the tools U need 2 bring 4th life, nurture lives, encourage growth & yield respect from all that graces Ur presence. Love U a lot more

Answer 10

I know how you feel, i feel that my ex would rather be with a gorilla than be with me and I hurts me much more than she sees but i try to carry on and every day it gets harder and harder to see her with other guys. I ask myself"What have i done to deserve this"? i feel that the more i think about her the more i begin to hurt.We had an excellent relationship until We had a date to the skating rink and we stayed over-night. We slept side-by-side and she told me how she thought that she was selfish and i could think a bout was how i felt the same way. Two days later she broke up with me IM me to talk later Please