Would you have been offended?

Question

Would you have been offended?
When my partner (my girlfriend) and I started dating I weighed 134lbs. and was going to the gym regularly. During the first part of our relationship I lost ten more lbs. but she complained I looked too thin. I had minor surgery this summer and she has moved in therefore my gym time and my eating habits have sliped and I've put weight back on. I got up to 137 but now fluctunat between 134 and 136. I know even though I'm about the same weight when we met I don't look as good because I'm not as toned. Anyway I bought a sexy outfit last year for chirstmas and she has been asking me to try it on for her agian this year. I told her I was afraid it wouldn't fit but after lots of her asking i tried it on and it still fits. She is constantly telling me that I'm not fat but has agreed that I've slacked a bit and my stomach isn't as nice (which is fine it's honest and it helps encourgae me to get back in shape).Here's my complaint; when I put on the outfit and I was putting on the music she said

Additional Details

7 hours ago
"why is it when people get into realtionships they get comfortable and put on weight?". That statment REALLY got under my skin. I told her "ouch" and she said she didn't mean me she just thought of it because I was nervous to put on the outfit. But I'm still bothered... I had a skimpy outfit on in front of her and that's the first comment that came out of her mouth. Am I being over sensitive?

7 hours ago
a little more FYI... She has lost weight. she is actually down to wear I was when she was complaining I was too thin. And she is taller than me. She often will flash her stomach (which has a pack now beacuse she's so thin) whenever she catches me looking at myself in the mirror. It's very weird to me...

Answer 1

OK, her timing was not good, but if she did not mean it with respect to you, let it go.

Answer 2

the awesome ingredient that indignant me became this stupid computing gadget. I compressed some archives from (are you waiting for this one?) 50 days right down to 30 days (how lengthy ought to the gadget wait earlier compressing previous archives? &c.) and whamee! No computing gadget! God, did that scare me! and then I realised how unhappy I felt and how indignant that this computing gadget ought to dare to allow me down like that. How do you spell dependency? or perhaps even co-dependency? So humorous now, in spite of the indisputable fact that it wasn't humorous then. such various of situations we can seem decrease back and observe how stupid we were being and how we reacted, yet at the same time as that's taking place for real the first time with the help of that's real and it hurts and also you do not comprehend what to do.

Answer 3

I would ignore it because in order to have a good relationship you have to be honest. You should talk to her and really ask if that is truly what she thinks of you and also tell her that statement really hurt you because when someone who is in relationship goes through like a "makeover" such as losing weight sometimes wants to go out and see can get someone else!

Answer 4

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I would have been very offended by that. I mean I am a fit man but what my girlfriend looks like to me is very important but what is inside is what counts. Relationships based mostly on what someone has or what they look like most of the time don't last.

Answer 5

If you talked with her and she said it wasn't directed at you then I wouldn't be offended. It's only natural after surgery to gain some weight until your body has healed and you can return to normal habits. You don't sound like you have a weight problem at all so I wouldn't worry about it :-)

Answer 6

I wouldn't be to worried about it. It sounds like your body is fine. A lot of times when you get in relationships people do tend to get comfortable and they lack it mentally and physically. If she's happy then so be it. Once your able to get back in the gym just do it for her and yourself. Don't stress it!!

Answer 7

Yes, I think I would have been offended too. She knows that this is a sensitive area for you, and she should not be joking about it. But, you need to realize that a person is not their weight. It's what's in their heart that matters. She needs to appreciate you for who you are and not what you weigh.

Answer 8

my boyfriend says things sometimes too. he doesnt mean them...and sometimes he doesnt even realize what he says so i let it go, but....if it bothers you work it off. use the sound of her voice as motivation. hear the cutting words in the back of your mind, get down and do 100 sit ups. take a jog around the park... dont lose it for her, lose it for yourself...since it seems to bother you.

Answer 9

I think the best thing for you to do is strip down to your sexy outfits and rub warm baby oil all over your bodies. Then after filming it, send it to 999 Oronoque...Oh wait! That's the best thing for ME. My mistake. :-)

Tell her to back off and to appreciate you for who you are. Tell her everything you wrote here. If she cared for you, she'd realize how big of jerk she's been.

Answer 10

Yes, I would be somewhat offended; enough to talk about it.Sounds pretty shallow to me and I would wonder is this a relationship or a toning contest?

Answer 11

You are definatly being oversensative. If your partner really cares about three pounds they are paying way too much attention to the scale.