Crying Baby?

Question

My son is 18 months old. He cries for no reason, and I know there is nothing up with him as he stops when he gets picked up, which i think is the reason he does it. He has now started waking up at all hours many times through the night. He always dirties his nappy in the night, so know this is a genuine reason, but it is driving me mad. Also getting verbal abuse from next door neighbour whose bedroom is next to his. She says she will report me to environmental services if it carries on.

As soon as he cries in the night, I wake up straight away and go into him. Sometimes, he is wide awake at 4am so I end up putting him in bed with me and he goes back to sleep. I know this is a bad thing to do as i now feel he is doing it on purpose to get into my bed. I am on the verge of depression with this as he is enough to cope with, but now my neighbour is involved I am after some advice.

Some brilliant answers here. Just to add, my next door neighbour also has 3 kids under 4. OK they dont scream in the night, but I can hear them getting up at 6.30 and then her voice shouting at them. She is a single parent but the dad stays over regularly. I think she is being like this as she bought a dog that barked constantly through the night and day. She left it in the garden which is under my sons bedroom. After numerous complaints from me, I took it further and she has now had to get rid of the dog. That was not my intention. Just for her to train it some way not to keep barking. I think she has been after revenge, and this is the ONLY thing that seems to annoy her.

Answer 1

Sorry if this sounds like I'm teaching you to suck eggs but have you considered the following possibilites? As he's now waking up in the night, could he be frightened? if so, how about a night light? OR because he's soiling his nappy, does he have tummy ache? possible from going to bed on a full tummy? Does he have a comforter i.e dummy or blanket? if not, maybe he could have one? Do you work alot, could be that he just misses you and wants to be with you completely when you are home because he doesn't like it when you go.
If i was you, and believe me after 2 kids, I have been there, I wouldn't worry too much about "spoiling him" If it means you getting a good nights sleep or some well needed peace, give the little man a dummy and put him in bed next to you. When he's sleeping through again, start putting him back in his own room (when he's asleep to start with, then try doing it awake). It's all trial and error and only you know whats best for you and your son. Best of luck and if all else fails, take him to the doctors!
P.S. Don't listen to you neighbour! Babies cry and there's nothing he or the environmental services can do about it, so tell him/her in the nicest possible way to mind his/her own business!

Answer 2

I have three kids, so I am talking from experience. You are not doing anything wrong and how your are feeling is normal. You have added pressure because of your neighbour (there is not much she can do except complain to the landlord, and as a landlord myself, I would tell her where to go). I brought all my three children to bed with me because they were lonely, hungry, or had a wet diaper. Do what you can to make your baby comfortable, even if it means sleeping with you. After the baby is asleep try putting him back in his crib (none of my babies slept a full night in their crib and they are not spoiled). Maybe, feeding him before bedtime might help, if he is teething, there are little sugar like pills that you can buy at the health food store to ease the pain (very safe), perhaps a soother may help. But unfortunately, it's your schedule that has to change until he changes his schedule. In a few more months you are going to have a whole new mess of problems a crying baby will look so minor then.

Good luck.

Answer 3

That does sound stressful! I'm no expert, but I think the biggest reason that your son cries during the night is because he knows you will come straight to him. It's difficult to do, particularly as your neighbour sounds like a right old moaner, but I think you need to go through a few nights of just letting him cry without going to him - that way he will learn that he doesn't get you immediately by doing this, and will hopefully stop doing it. It takes a lot of patience and determination though!
Good luck, hope it works out well for you.

Answer 4

I sincerely doubt that your neighbor can report you for having a crying baby. I mean, babies cry. She might as well report you for breathing air. Tell her to stuff it and if she doesn't like it, move her bedroom or turn on a fan to drown out the noise or something.

There is nothing wrong with bringing him into your bed. He's probably just lonely and scared at night. You say he always makes a dirty diaper so that's probably what wakes him up. Of course you need to change him right away (which you are doing).

You are doing fine. If you are feeling depressed go see a doctor. But don't worry about bringing him to bed with you. He'll grow out of it.

Answer 5

1st off your neighbor can call environmental services. All they will tell your neighbor is that babies cry, suck it up!

It sounds like your baby may be getting his back teeth (molars). These can make your baby very unhappy and easy to wake in the night. Try some pain medication prior to bed. Also, if he is waking due to a durty nappy he could be close to using the potty. Look into some night training for toddlers.

Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Firstly tell your neighbour to "have a Coke and a smile and shut the **** up." Environmental health would only view with sympathy.
Secondly, your child may be crying at four to get into your bed, try just going in to him, lay him back down and leave the room, keep doing this and he'll eventually give up.

Answer 7

My son was like this, I just gave him a stern look and answer the answer is no, he will understand, tell him that mommy needs to slep and that he just has separation anxiety and he wants to be next to you. Tell him that he is a big boy and he needs to be in his room and sleep through the night, plus he might not be eating right, ask your peditrician about this. About the neighbor, tell the police that this person is threating you just because your child wakes up at night, file a report of harrasment. This woman is trying to make your life a living hell, I would tell her first that the problem you are dealing with your child, if she doesn't care or you can't talk to her because she is nasty, then report it to the police, before she tries to report you so they will know that you are the right person because you claimed it first.

Answer 8

first as for the lady next door she must have been a horriable mother any women who would do this to you isnt human,ever baby crys its noemal,im a mother of 6 and ive had ups and downs pospardum deppression and feeling overwhelmed.dont worrie this will end,you just have to find little thing to entertain him in the day,as for having him sleep through the night
limit his nap to 30 mins and keep in entertained the rest of the day,youll only have to do this about 5 days in a row dont give in,then he will start a sleep pattern,as long as you let him sleep in the day he will keep you up at night,when he gets up at night change him,then lay him down dont talk to him and dont turn on lights this will only wake him more and he will want to play,as for the lady next door tell her to f off your doing your best no one can take him because you let him cry.good luck hun

Answer 9

well it sounds to me like he just wants to be with mommy. but it might be a good idea to have his ears checked for an ear infection. my daughter was the same way and she had no symptoms of an ear infection very strange i know she had no fever didnt pull on her ears she wasnt fussy or anything except at night. and hate to tell you but its very easy to get a baby into a routine but its alot harder to break a ruotine. and you should explain to your nieghbors that you are trying to get your son to sleep in his own bed. some ppl just have no sence. and it sounds to me like you are stressed and need a break see if you can get your mom or a sister to keep him over night trust me one night with no screaming kids does wonders. it will help calm and relax you. and when the baby comes back you wont be as stressed and will be able to handle things better. and there is nothing wronge with needing a break sometime alot of people dont realize its alot and takes alot to be a mom

Answer 10

Yes your son could be doing this on purpose but remember it is only because he wants his mommy....personally I would tell you next door neighbor to shove it up their *** but you know....anyway let them call there is nothing you can do about his screaming and picking him up is only going to make it worse but you have to do what you have to do....personally I would be a smart *** and give my neighbor the # to social services if they wanted to call, if your not doing anything wrong then there is nothing to worry about. You may want to think about some anti-depression meds for a little bit until this passes...