A guy friend(18 yrs old) of 5 years and I (19 yrs)were messing around when I got pregnant we started dating when the baby was about 2 weeks old dated for a/b 2 1/2 months and he said he loved me so i said it back.. He broke up with me a coupld days ago because he "dont love me". Now he's being a real jerk. He thinks that i'm talking bad about him which I'm not. We were just about to move into our own house and everything. Our son (3 1/2 months) loves him to death. But He won't even talk to me.. I'm a senior in High School and he would be too but he quit school.. The thing is is that he lives across the street from me with his parents as so do I. I think he has been talking to another girl on the phone, from a differant town. But his phone got shut off this morning, and he's not supposed to drive because his liscence are suspended. What should I do? go ahead and move out of my moms act like I can do it and just wait for him to come to me or flirt with other guys in a way he knows?
2006-11-28 06:48:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a complicated situation, but the reality of it, and I don't mean this in a bad way please believe me, but you were allowing him to have sex with you without a condom, and he did not have to pull out when he had an orgasm so you have to understand that is the best type of sex in the world for a man a young man at that. He said and did what ever he had to so he could keep exploding in you with no condom. He did not love you, and the reason why he can be a jerk now is because he is not emotionally attached to you in any way.
He does not mean to be a inconsiderate jerk, he just wants to be a regular jerk, and him not being attached to you emotionally puts him in a position to not be able to tell the difference. That's also why he can talk to other girls. You were emotionally attached to him that's why you feel the way you do. Didn't you notice that after the baby "the time he could not explode in you for 6 weeks" was when things started to change. That;s because that's all you have ever been to him. You need to finish school, leave him alone, and your baby is only 3 months old that baby does not know anything about love so he or she is not attached to this guy. Don't let this guy or this baby be a reason you stop trying to be the best "you", you can be. Good luck.
2006-11-28 06:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are in high school you need to think about your future and your young child. Raising a child require a lot of time and attention. You need to worry about your child and getting a education not some guy that lives across the street. Stay with you mom until you are on your feet. Now doesnt seem like the time. Why would you want a drop out with out a job or driving license ? You baby is just happy and will smile and laugh at any thing.
2006-11-28 14:58:03 · answer #2 · answered by justturning40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dont flirt with other guys to make him think somethings going on that is childish. Well if you can afford to go ahead and move into the place then do it. It doesnt sound like this is someone who you can count on anyway. He hasnt finished high school and doesnt seem to be any hurry to do so. He wasnt there for you when you had the baby but was around when you werent(probably to get a little of something). If it was me Id move and just let him go unless he comes around then you need to decide if you want him or not. Your son can love him even if you dont you know. I know this is rude but does he give you any money for that child cause thats not a good sign if he doesnt.
2006-11-28 14:54:41 · answer #3 · answered by Amberlyn4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make anyone love you or come back to you. He's obviously confused and/or dealing with having a family so young has him questioning everything. Either way, you need to worry about you and your baby. Don't move out of your parent's house unless you can afford living on your own. Being that you are still in school I would imagine it would be better for you to stay living at home where you can get some help with the baby.
Don't make him the center of your world, but you do need to make it known that the baby is his and he needs to support the baby. Concentrate on your schooling and your baby - not guys.
2006-11-28 14:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should not do any of those things. You are a mother now. You cannot continue to act like a "normal" high school girl, because you are not a normal high school girl. You are now responsible for another human being. You need to learn how to take care of yourself and your son. Make the guy pay child support, and let him be a part of your son's life (if he wants to be), but right now you have to concentrate more on your little boy, and on graduating from high school so the two of you can have a decent life, than on anything else. Good luck.
2006-11-28 14:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by topspin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't get "even".
What sort of example are you setting for your son if you repeat the same attitude as his dad?
Here are some pointers:
1. Don't waite for him to come around to suddenly "mature"
2. Put your child first and do everything good in life for your child
3. Do not bring other guys around your child - pedifiles are attracted to women who have children for one purpose only.
4. You need to focus on being able to support you and your son. You can not count on his daddy to be supportive; he already shows signs of wanting to have females support him.
5. There are support groups out there for you - both in taking care of housing, clothes and meals AND in education. You would probably qualify for some grants to get you back to school, and have your son in a care program financially covered as well.
6. Try to think about the future, a future of only you and your son. Perhaps his daddy will come around, but from the characteristics he has shown thus far, he doesn't seem to have goal-setting skills or have any real ambition.
7. Remember a rule of thumb - men mature later and slower than women. You are leap years ahead in maturity to this guy, and waiting for him to come about may be not until your son is graduating high school - I'm not kidding - that long. And, remember that some adults NEVER DO grow up. Just doesn't happen.
8. Find a Church that will provide a good support group for you spiritually, and economically, if needs come about. It is also a great place to meet decent, godly men who would be great role models for your son, of what a good man is like.
9. In time, you will meet a mature man (not boy), who will sweep you off your feet and you will wonder what the heck you saw in the boy's father. You will look back with clear vision and will be happy that you didn't make more mistakes with the boy's dad.
This is why you need to be patient and focused on the important things in life - loving and providing for your son, getting a better education so that you can support your "family", and looking forward to watching your son grow up into a better man than his dad.
Think this through logically; love is not just passion - it means committment and putting key persons as number one and putting yourself as secondary; showing love through action and not just words.
2006-11-28 15:31:17 · answer #6 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most of the other people...you are still in school and you have a baby to support. You need to be more worried about getting a good education so you are able to eventually move out of your parents' place and take care of your baby on your own.
If this guy really cares about you or the baby then he will come around (probably when he grows up more). Give it time to work itself out. But in the mean time worry about school and your baby.
2006-11-28 14:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First instead of flirting with other guys you need to make sure you keep your pants up. Seems like this guy is heading the right direction huh? Dropped out of highschool, can't drive, and can't pay phone bills. Seems like a winner, that is ready to support a family. You might just have to chalk this one up as a loss. Stop worring about losers, and worry about your child. The only thing you need him for is to be a father to your child, and leave it at that. Further your education, so you can give your child everything it needs.
2006-11-28 14:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by johnsonjrod 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from him, he is a loser. All the danger signs are there for you to see. If you want to be with him, then you need help. Don't you realize how important it is that you be a good mom to your baby first? Whats wrong with all these young moms? Your baby comes first before anything else. Let the dad grow up first before you force him into fatherhood, which he is not ready for by what you told us.
2006-11-28 14:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave him alone. Don't worry about him. If he wants to come back make sure you lay some rules down and stick to it. Make him make a commitment to you and your son. Until then DO NOT lower yourself by flirting with other guys. Be a strong woman and handle your business. You get him back faster by showing him that you are strong and that you don't need him. He expects you to be on him and be sad. Suprise him and make him curious about you. If you can you should stay with your mother and save some money. That's up to you though. BE STRONG AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOURS!!!!! FORGET ABOUT HIM!!!!
2006-11-28 15:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋