I'm not a bad parent..am i?

Question

I am the mother of a rambunctious 4 year old with a very bold personality, since he was 2 1/2 I have tried to find more and more time away from him, not because I don't like my child (i love him more than the world) its just that he is a little overbearing sometimes. He is an only child and requires more than a lot of attention, sometimes I feel guilty for not wanting to play with him all day. His doctors and a lot of my friends (who are parents and/or teachers of children his age or older) say that This will pass around the time he enters kindergarten when he is more independent and more focused on school and class mates. So the question is, am I a bad parent for wanting more time alone from my son?

Answer 1

Not at all! I'm a 25 year old mother to 3 very strong willed boys. They are 4, 3 and 2 years old. I know exactly how you feel. Just hang in there girl, things have to get better for us, and if they don't, then we can pull out our hair together. Best to you and your lil man.

Answer 2

No, you are not a bad parent. i have a 2 1/2 yr old that is the same way it's like she has ADHD( but the doctor says that it is just her age and she will grow out of it). she can go 15 hrs. without a nap she is constantly running, playing, jumping, etc. and i'm a stay at home mother so i am with her all day and my husband works, when he gets home i go on a walk and then every sunday i work at a diner from 7-2 just to get a break and a fresh start for the next week. it's hard having a hyper 2 yr old. and on top of that i have a very demanding 9 month old. if you can try to keep him occupied with puzzles, games, coloring books, playing outside helps too( if the weather is right). Just hang in there and try not to loose your mind. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I have 2 daughters that I love and couldn't live without but you know what everyone needs a BREAK and you are by no means a bad parent becuase you need free time. I find that if I do not get an occasional break from my children then I get frustrated with them and they probably don't want me around anyway. I think that it is good for kids to be with someone other then their parents sometimes because it makes them more independant. I think that sometimes kids have alot more energy than adults can handle. There is no reason to feel guilty.

Answer 4

I am a mom of 2 healthy boys- age 6 and 3. I'm sure that you're not a bad parent, and that there's nothing wrong with your little boy. Little boys are energetic - that's normal! And sometimes it's hard for us moms. Spending time on yourself not only doesn't make you a bad mom, it makes you a better one. That way you can go back to being mommy refeshed and ready.
Consider having some friends his age over - and then sending him to his friend's house once in while too. It will make your life easier not being the one on the spot to entertain him constantly.
The most important thing you can do is love him. Make sure he knows that you love him and want him, and the exact amount of time you spend with him, or without, will be immaterial.

Answer 5

You are not a bad parent for wanting alone time. Every mother/father needs this once in a while! Here's my suggestion:

Create a routine for you and your child. (After breakfast in the morning, schedule play time at a park, or recreational center to allow your child to dispell some energy, with other children). Schedule in time where you are to play educational games with your child in the mid day. And maybe set up time in the evening, after dinner, for someone else (husband, boyfriend, grandma, etc) to watch your child for an hour or so, so that you can relax, take a bath, read a book, watch tv, etc.

Make sure that you get in a little time for yourself each day. Giving yourself quiet time will help you to be less stressed with your child, and will give you a nice relaxing break.

Answer 6

Not at all! Your time alone from your son makes you a better mom when you are with him. I would just make sure that by spending time away from him you're not ignoring problems with your son. For example, you mentioned he's a little overbearing. Does that mean he has behavioral problems that need to be addressed? If he's just like every other 4 year old, then no worries! It's always good to take care of yourself too.

Answer 7

No I have a very bold 2 year old little girl who has no problem expressing how she feels. She's the only child. But sometimes I need time a way. I feel guilty but I think it is good for both of us.


GOD BLESS

Answer 8

No, you are a good mommy. You are just human and have a lot on you. It is a hard job raising a child especially a toddler. You are doing fine and there is nothing wrong with wanting some alone time. Actually it will be beneficial for both you and your child. You will get some rest and not feel so overwhelmed.

Answer 9

Do you provide your child with an emotionally and physically stable environment where he feels safe and secure and loved every day and where he has food to eat and clothes to wear and warm shelter? If you do then you are a perfectly good parent. Spending 24 hours a day with your child wouldn't make you a better parent. Finding time for yourself is important and re-energizing, as long as it's not all the time. You said you try to find more and more time away....that isn't getting excessive is it? If not, then you are fine.

Answer 10

Not at all. The good news is you realize you have limits. Instead of becoming so frazzled you hit him or something, you know you need some time away. I have a 10 yr old that I love to pieces but totally dislike some days. Comes with the territory. Doesn't make us bad moms. We are real people with real feelings and real limits. Not some cookie cutter mom from tv land.