Should i continue to babysit?

Question

I babysit a child whose parents will get me to watchtheir child so they can sleep, visit friends, go for a walk to "think", go for coffee, or because they are hungover...

but they have not gone to work certain days but still asked me to babysit...

I have been paid thus far....

I am nervous that they won;t have the money with all the work missed...

I am being taken advantage of...

the mother will show up with bags full of stuff she bought, no stroller for her daughter, and then just stand there waiting for me to offer a ride... so i do....

Shoudl I set boundries? yes...

but I dont; want to make this mom feel any worse about her situation than it already is... she has already lost custody of her son....

i just want to do the right thing....

Answer 1

There is probably a reason why she lost her son. from the looks of it, she shouldn't have ANY children, missing work, boozing, not taking responsible care for her child. sounds like she's letting you raise her kid while she does her own thing. set some heavy boundaries, and report her for child neglect. If she feels so bad about losing her son, then she should be doing everything in her power to make sure her other one doesn't end up in the system, which sounds to me like she's neglecting to do. don't think about how sad it would be for her. think about that child who shouldn't have to live his life in those kinds of conditions. what's more important. child welfare, or selfish mom.

Answer 2

What these people due when they hire you for babysitting should not concern you, unless they are showing signs of illegal behavior. BUT always get paid for each time you work, even if they say they will pay you the next time. No different from any other job..if you worked at an office, you wouldn't let the boss 'promise' to pay you...you would expect a paycheck. Money given for money earned!

Don't get emotionally involved in what they are doing; just set boundaries as to what you expect..i.e. paid each time, and then have a fun time babysitting. If it becomes more than you can handle by you worrying if you are going to get paid, find another job. The right thing is to do a good job babysitting, get paid, and let them do what they need to do for themselves. As to her losing one son already, that is a red marker for you to realize she does operate with some dysfunctional behavior; you can't make her feel any worse about the situation, as this is about her and her life style, etc...not yours.

Set boundaries, and don't get emotionally involved and you'll do fine. It might be a good idea to see what makes you get into the trap "I don't want to hurt XXX's feelings." This is simply a job, and if it isn't meeting your goals, move on. Success!!

Answer 3

That is sucha tough spot to be in. Yes, you are being taken advantage of, yet you are allowing it by not setting boundaries. It is not your responsibility to make the lives of these parents any easier. It's your job to make sure that while the child is in your care, she gets the best care possible. That doesn't extend to her parents, who are adults and fully capable of caring for themselves. I think you need to sit down with them and set boundaries. Be willing to stick to them, because the parents aren't going to like it one bit. They will try and guilt you into continuing the way you have been. If they threaten to find a new babysitter, let them. Don't compromise YOUR beliefs and values. It sounds harsh, and I hate to say it, but it's not your responsibility to baby-sit them. Set your boundaries and stick to them, even though it's going to be really hard. You'll feel better about it in the end. If you ever want someone to talk to, I can listen. I just learned how to set boundaries not long ago, so I know how hard it is. :)

Answer 4

Remeber that this is a job and what your responsibilities are regarding your position as a child care provider. It is not your concern what the parents are doing when they employ you to care for their children/child. If the parent is requesting transportation from you, you have the right to decline, or ask to be compensated for gas or mileage as you would from any other employer. If you do come to the point in which you are not paid for your services you can sue in small claims court for the amount you are owed, plus any costs involved in recovering your money. Life is full of many "what if's" you cannot live your life around them or you would cease to "live".

Answer 5

Be there for her. Set an example for her. Yes she's the mom and moms need to focus on their kids. Don't miss an oppertunity to be a perfect example of self sacrifice. Get a short parenting book from the library and start reading it. Once you've got some helpful parenting tips share them with her and let her know the scource isn't coming from out of condemnation but from this cool book you found. Good luck! And Thank You from the bottom of my heart for really caring.

Answer 6

If you think you are been taken advantage of I would stop babysitting.If you like babysitting keep doing it lay some rules down

Answer 7

You should set boundaries but the only thing that matter is that the child is safe with you and you are getting PAID

Answer 8

She is taken advantage of you and I think that you need to get out. She lost custody of her son for a reason

Answer 9

They are taking advantage of you. I think that you should tell them about their selves and then quit. However, their child probably spends more time with you than he/she does with their parent. You're not a nanny, you're just a babysitter. Sit down with the mom and let her know how you feel.

Answer 10

The right thing to do it to make sure that kid is getting what it needs and if you think her mom and dad ARE NOT looking after her the right way then maybe you need to call in on them that kid comes first maybe they can help them