I am in a relationship of almost 7 years that I am thinking of ending for good reasons. I like this older guy (hes 34 and im 22) and I have casually kinda dated him during a couple of breakups me and my current bf had. Its crazy b/c sometimes he seems really into me and other times he acts like Im nothing. He has said it is more then just s.e.x and I should know that b/c we have been "talking" for 3 years on and off. But the way he acts it seems he just wants that. But he has said he knew I was going to go back to my bf that i have now & that I am crazy to let him back in my life knowing he uses drugs, cheated, etc. He also said that he knows I wanted a relationship with him but I tried to change it overnight from friends to being w/ him & that was difficult but that he never said it couldnt have turned into a relationship. He also mentioned that if we were to be together my son would be calling him dad and he kinda laughed.What does this all mean? I cannot figure him out.
2006-11-28 05:03:13 · 28 answers · asked by Yellowtulips 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
my current bf (sons dad) uses drugs
2006-11-28 05:35:16 · update #1
he probably thinks that you will keep going back to your old bf, since this is what you do in the past, and what many girls do, so he has not consider you as a serious possible mate. you have to 'jump ship' and stick with him. only time, i think, can prove you are serious.
2006-11-28 05:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say break up with your cheating bf.. BUT an older man is not the answer. Believe me. I am in the same boat sweetie. I am 24 and my bf is 36, we have been dateing for 4 years. I am soooo un happy. He treats me like ****, but wont let me go. now we have a son together which makes it harder to leave. I think the older men like us young girls as a trophy and thats all. It will go great at first, but then go down hill from there. As far as your son goes it will be harder on him. My daughter who has a different father, is treated like crap. He doesnt love her the same as his own, and thats not fair for the kids. It seems to me he DOESN'T even know what he wants out of this. Do yourself a favor, and be single for a few months, play the field, see whats out there. and if you still have feelings for this older guy, then go for it. But shop around first. Good luck. Hope I helped.
2006-11-28 13:15:10 · answer #2 · answered by Blazed-n-Confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need a break from all of these men, the relationship you are in is definitely not working. Make a fresh start, and the next time you meet some one take your time, so you can get to know them, before you are ready to start a relationship! You do not need anyone in your life who uses drugs, or cheats. Don't rush into anything, have some fun!
2006-11-28 13:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your current relationship is unhealthy, you need to do something about it anyway. What's going to happen when the kiddo get old enough to ask questions?
Sounds like your friend is "trying it on for size" (sorta) and seeing how he feels about making the change from friend with benefits to sig other. The fact that he's okay with your child is pretty significant.
The best long term relationships are founded on a genuine friendship. When the physical stuff gets old, friendship will keep you sane, happy and together.
2006-11-28 13:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by Tim B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have the 7 year Itch.........meaning things get kinda boring after 7 years......however, I don't think mister 34 year old has your best int-rest at heart, it's just what it is.... "sex", he knows he can play you because you are only 22......mister 34 year old is a player and a sicko IMO........stay clear of him...he will only break your heart. And your bf, well....... sounds like you need to dump him too, or get him the help he needs for his drug problem.......If you are doing drugs too ....things are only going to go down hill for you and your son......keep this in mind. You and your son need to be on your own and away from the losers....Be very careful.....and I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-28 13:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever cheat on your boyfriend with him?? Maybe he just likes the idea of knowing you'll be there pretty much whenever he needs "it" but knows that your relationship could never be more than that. Regardless of what he says cause if he told you he only wanted you for sex you could walk away and he wouldn't get none no more. If you have cheated with him he probably thinks that you're not worth getting serious with cause who knows, you might cheat on him. But for now you're good to have around.
2006-11-28 15:49:19 · answer #6 · answered by Lissa D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Britney, drop this guy like a hot potatoe. He's using you girl! I'm 43 years old, and just got married for the 1st time in July. I've been around, and know what guys are like. If he was really into you, he wouldn't be dragging you around like this. He would care more about your feelings than his own. Be single for a while, and get to know yourself. Trust me, it works. Get to know who you are and what you want and how to get it. Before you let some guy into your life. Your life is valuable, don't give it away to fast! See what's out there 1st.
2006-11-28 13:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by Happy Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What it sounds like to me is that YOU need to make a life for yourself and your son without any loser men. This older guy doesn't seem like he wants anything permanent, and the loser you're thinking of ending it with doesn't deserve to be in your son's life..and your son certainly doesn't deserve to witness this kind of behavior/activity, nor does he deserve this kind of example to follow. It seems as though your plan is to dump the current bf only if the "older" guy is waiting in the wings to step in. Your son needs YOU! Your undivided attention in his life. Stop looking for that knight in shining armour to make your life complete. Make it complete with you and your son, let a "real" man come into the life you've made only when he proves himself worthy of sharing the life you've already made. It's difficult to change your way of thinking but it can be done. Make your son your first priority and everything else second. EVERYTHING! Including your need to have a man in your life.
2006-11-28 13:16:53 · answer #8 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u first need to figure out what u are going to do with ur current b/f. if u have broken up with him b4 and u just keep goin back to him i would act the same way that the other guy acts.if u cant give him 100 percent then why should he have too? its not fair to either of them actually.u need to find urself first and then make a decision.u need to truly love and be honest with urself b4 u can do the same with others.
2006-11-28 13:11:26 · answer #9 · answered by Ashman78 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be aware to not be fooled by a guy who wants you for sex... try to figure out what he really wants and act accordingly. You can always search for a nice guy who does not uses drugs
I hope i helped
2006-11-28 13:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋