How do I stop my 2.5 year-old from misbehaving?!?

Question

My son, who will be 3 in March, has recently started misbehaving at the sitter. He has been pushing, hitting, and taking toys away from the other children, who are mostly babies (less than 1yo). After three continuous days of this behaviour, our sitter called us today to say that she will no longer watch him. We are left in a really hard place.

We have tried teaching him the difference between right and wrong and we punish him by giving him time out for being agressive towards his older brother, who is 10. He's also got spankings for more aggressive behaviour, like CHOKING THE CAT. =0(

We don't understand why all of sudden this behaviour has begun and how to stop it before we have to keep changing sitters. I need help!!!

Answer 1

I have a daughter about the same age (will be 3 in May) and she goes through bouts of aggression too. She will bite, slap, hit, punch, scratch and pinch. Unfortunately, the only way to stop this kind of behavior is for the caregiver to intervene right away. That means your son needs to be watched carefully all the time. Kids this age are too young to regulate their behavior or share without "help". In a situation where there are other children, especially babies, it is harder to keep tabs on a 2 year old, especiallly an active one!
My 2 1/2 year old is my youngest, and when she is at the babysitter, the youngest one there is a 1 1/2 year old who is walking and can (sort of ) fend for herself. Not that they aren't supervised , but there are 5 in that group, so sometimes there are opportunities for the children to get rough and hurt one another, or take toys!
It's also possible that your son doesn't enjoy playing with those babies and needs a break or some time to himself and maybe the babies keep bugging him or taking his toys. They do not understand sharing at all, and there isn't much anyone can do about that, except try to interest them in other toys.

Is there some way for your son to have his own space at the sitter's? Is there a way to give him time away from the babies but still under supervision (like a corner of the room)? Ask the babysitter and try to work with her on this.

i posted once before how I deal with my daughter's aggression: I stop her in her tracks! I hold on to her hands when she hits, pinches or scratches and will not let go for at least a minute. I tell her firmly that we do not hit! It started to sink in. She will ask about people now "did that hurt?" and is beginning to realize why we don't do those things. She still does it from time to time, but she knows it's not right and that she will be prevented from doing it or from joining in in the playtime until she improves. (and she is redirected a lot)
If the sitter is not willing to have your child and doesn't want to work with you, you are better off finding someone else.
Good luck and I hope you can work something out!

Answer 2

Toddlers are difficult to punish because they are so cute but are easily influenced with the right actions. Yes punishment is good but is it consistent. The key word is to always be consistent. Also give him rewards for every time he does something good. Make him earn points on good behavior, for example give make a chart where you put stickers every time he does something right. Explain that he will receive one every time he doesn't hit someone or helps pick up his toys or hugs his brother. Toddlers are very smart and if you let them they will manipulate you. Turn it around on them.

Answer 3

Well, this is the age when they say "terrible two"
Your son may be testing you and seeing how far he can get, you have to show him who's boss and take away any priviledges that he enjoys (ie: going to the park, watching t.v., playing with his toys etc.) He has to learn how to behave and sometimes putting him in the corner might help. Also when talking to your child make sure that you do look him in the eye and dont yell! Yelling makes it worse.

Answer 4

Continue spanking and be firm when you tell him "no." He believes that he can do whatever he wants (time outs don't do any good.) and you have been allowing him to get away with things. Be consistant with your discipline and show him that he is NOT the boss in your house. You don't have to be mean, just firm. There's a huge difference!

Answer 5

He needs to be taken to the doctor's and I would have pulled him out of the daycare long before they asked me to pull him out. You also need to pay very close attention to your home environment and what's going on there. He's picking these behaviors up from someone else (that's how kids learn). You may even need to take time off from work to spend it with him (sorry, but it's true).

Answer 6

choking the cat is a sign of a problem that needs to be addressed with a professional. He may have a disorder of some kind. you should have him evaluated by a specialist. As far as discipline goes, spank him on the butt with your hand only.

Answer 7

Something happened at his sitters to make him want to push his boudaries. Take him to a friends house (while you are there too) Let her punish or tell him no. See how reacts to it. If he doesn't listen to her, let him know that while he is in ihter people's homes, he has to listen to their rules too. Then back her up. It worked for me!

Answer 8

well heres what u do give him his faiverit toy let a kid take it from him and ask him does he like it when it happens to him in time he will understand.

Answer 9

good luck it's all part of being a 2 year old

Answer 10

tough question. Sounds to me like your son needs a patient, stay at home parent.

AB
canada