To an 8 yr old that his mom may not be able to come home for a while and may never be allowed to take care of him again.My little cousins mom is in rehab for the third time she started of being addicted to pain killers and sleeping pills but graduated to cocaine. I am 24 years old and with no experience with kids other than baby sitting.I just graduated college 1 1/2 ago and i am worried that i am not making enough money to support him i only make 30 grand a year.Also i was planning on moving to NYC to make my commute easier since i live in NJ but i am not sure if i want to uproot him?
2006-11-28 04:46:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If you take this child (he would be lucky to have you) get the court to appoint you his legal guardian. You will then be eligible for assistance through your state, along with state payments to helpwith his care costs. Other than that, let him direct the conversation. Obviously you dont want to tell him all the nitty gritty details, but if he understands that mom has a problem, then tell him she is getting it fixed. It may be better if she doesnt have custody of him. He may come to resent her, so definately set up some therapy immediately. The state will also cover insurance costs. You should get a monthly stipend for clothing and such also. Email me if you need more assistance.
2006-11-28 13:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a good parent already because you care about this child, and you care about the child's mom too. You should trust yourself that you already have done more than most people would. With the kindness in your heart and the love you already feel, you will find a way to tell this young person what needs to be said. You might take a little time to think about how you would want someone to tell you that news. How would you feel if someone told you one way, or another way. Choose the way that would make you feel most loved and cared for. But be careful not to condemn the mom too much, or the child might end up feeling like she or he is a bad person. That will backfire.
2006-11-28 13:01:48 · answer #2 · answered by MDG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad. You're a very good person if you are taking him in. At a time like this, he needs love. I would be pretty honest with him (but in a nice way), because kids at this age know more than we sometimes give them credit for. It's a lousey way to have to grow up, but unfortunately this is the way his life is.
Maybe you can get some help from an organization or a church in the care and feeding of him. Also, you may not be the right person, but it would be a very selfless act on your part to figure out what is best.
Good luck.
2006-11-28 13:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by Momma Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't wait to hear the answers on this one! I have a 5 year old foster child who I will be explaining to that he can't see his mommy anymore for other reasons. I don't know what to tell you, all mine knows right now is that when he doesn't see his mommy and daddy it's because they are in time out...(they didn't go to therapy, positive testing, negative parenting...whatever the judge says). He understands that, and that is about it. His bio mom told him the other day that we are going to change his name and that we will be his mommy and daddy from now on, (without informing us of this conversation) and now he is as confused as a someone with a two dollar bill trying to purchase an SUV. You need to get on his level and only explain what he will understand! If he has been in the system then he will understand more than you think. Sometimes our little one knows much more than he should know. Good luck to you and your little one. You two should be totally fine. I suggest getting some fostering classes done so you can be certified by the state to take care of him. They do give a small "refund" check to children in the system, but it itsn't much, so don't count on this to raise him...but with your education, you will be fine.
2006-11-28 14:37:24 · answer #4 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At his age to much information is harmful. Be truthful but not overly informed. He needs to know whats going on but all the ugly stuff can be saved till later. Money will find a way to work out.. I only make 17,500 a year and I support me, my hubby, and our daughter.. not to mention my hubby is in college. But there is support out there for you if you decide that is whats best for the both of you.
2006-11-28 13:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you ask the state to help you with daycare since you don't make enough money to support the child. Where is the boy's father? He should help if he isn't an addict also. I would uproot him to make your life easier, he'll deal with it.
2006-11-28 14:49:39 · answer #6 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all think hard about what you are going to do because it's a really important problem
i'm only 13 so i don't really know what advice to give you
try to find a way to tell him that his mom is on a trip somewhere and is coming soon and tell him everyday that she loves him and you talked to her and she says that she misses him and stuff
whatever you decide to do i wish you good luck
2006-11-28 13:06:42 · answer #7 · answered by cristy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what ur heart tells u what to do. If you decide to take care of him get assistance. But think hard.
2006-11-28 12:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by ღStarzzღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋