Anyone up for a religious joke?

Question

Two priests were getting ready to enter the communal showers at the cathedral, when they noticed that the stalls were all empty of soap. One of the priests stated that he had some extra bars of soap in his room, and since it was so close by, he’d go back and fetch two bars. Indeed, since his room was so close, he didn’t bother getting dressed, but darted down the hallway nude.

As he was coming back to the showers, three nuns rounded the corner, blocking his path to the showers. The priest backed up against the wall and froze, still clutching the bars of soap. The three nuns stopped in front of him.

“These new statues that the church is buying are extremely life like,” one nun noted as she reached down and tugged on his penis. Startled, he dropped a bar of soap.

“Look,“ exclaimed another nun,” it dispenses soap!” She also tugged on his penis, and he dropped the second bar of soap.

The third nun tugged on his penis, but there was no more soap to drop.

She tugged again, and again, and again.

“Oh my,” the third nun finally exclaimed, “It dispenses hand lotion too!”

Sheesh, Elliot, can't you just enjoy a joke for what it is? Or do I have to win over the intellectual side of you by telling a joke based on differential equations, the likes of which would go over the head of practically everyone else.

Elliot, please seek help. I only say this for your own good.

Answer 1

Good one .
I take no offence to this joke ,nor should anyone else.
A Thumbs up from me !!!!

Answer 2

Not great. The premise is pretty ridiculous, since very few statues are made of anything even vaguely resembling skin in texture or colour. Also people tend to be warmer than statues. Even if the priest were able to stand perfectly still, there's no way anyone would mistake him for a statue in that situation.
It seems as though the joke has been written with the singular goal of offending Christians. While I have no objection to this goal, jokes generally only work if they're funnier than they are offensive. This one falls pretty flat, in my opinion.

The problem isn't just with the joke's unbelievability, it just isn't very funny. Essentially the joke is that a nun jerked off a priest. While that is a reasonably funny situation, it doesn't go anywhere. It's far too straight forward. You see, we're already aware that the nun is tugging on the priest's penis before the punchline. That's already happened twice before in the joke (its conformity to the rule of threes is one of its redeeming factors) so there's nothing inherently funny about it happening again. So all the punchline adds is that the priest ejaculated, which is a pretty reasonable result in that situation.

Think about this. If I were to tell you a joke that said simply "A nun took a dump in the pope's hat", you'd say "why?". My joke wouldn't be funny unless I came up with a reasonable situation for a nun to take a dump in the pope's hat. Similarly your joke requires a reasonable explanation for why a nun was masturbating a priest, and frankly you haven't come up with one. The only reason someone would laugh at this joke would be if they were immature enough to find the idea of a nun masturbating a priest inherently funny to the point where it didn't need to be incorporated into a properly constructed joke.

Answer 3

Poor, poor elliot. He has absolutely no imagination. To think of going through life unable to grasp any joke more complex th-- Wait, "communal showers at the cathedral"? Where the heck is THAT?

Answer 4

Old joke. And I thought Religion was a joke.

Answer 5

We had enough of those from Bobby yesterday.

Answer 6

yup, another old joke. next time can you tell a new one. thank you very much.

Answer 7

LMFAO