My teenage daughter is pregnant and wants to keep the baby. I already have a stressful bunch at home.?

Question

What do I do?

Answer 1

I got pregnant at 16 and kept my baby and lived with my parents...if your daughter is expecting to live with you after she has the baby then she will understand that it's not going to be a free ride, she will have to get a job and pay for the baby because all the financial burden shouldn't be put off on you. She has to understand how much responsibility a baby is and hopefully the father will take some responsibility as well and pay some child support, I don't think she should have to take all the financial responsibility since they both made the baby. What helped me was supportive parents. I understand that you have a stressful life, but this is extremely stressful on her and you don't want to cause her anymore stress than she already has, try to talk to her calmly so you don't cause the baby any stress, things will work out. It just takes patience and a little help from everyone (not TOTAL help just a little when she really needs it). Being a pregnant teenager is stressful enough TRUST ME. Keeping the baby is very honorable, but hopefully she understands the whole concept of having a baby...help her understand it's not fun all the time, it's actually very hard tying to go to school and work and take care of a baby, but it can be done.

Answer 2

I can understand why you are worried about this. Chances are, your daughter is worried, too. Being a mom at a young age is a huge responsibility. Have you considered encouraging her to get some counseling about this? Somewhere in your area is either a planned parenthood clinic or a pregnancy center. Look in the yellow pages under pregnancy. If you can't find either of these, call your local health department. Tell them you have a teenager with some issues about what to do with her pregnancy and ask about counseling. Someone should be able to direct you to a counselor, and many of these programs are free.

Sit down with your daughter and tell her you understand her desire to keep her baby. Put yourself in her shoes. If it were you that were pregnant, would you have a hard time with the idea of giving the baby away or aborting it? Regardless of how you feel, by offering your unconditional support to your daughter right from the beginning, she is more likely to feel free to examine her choices. If you pressure her to give it up or abort it, she will most likely rebel, even if it would be a better choice. Remember, she is a teenager! Also consider that by pressuring her to give her baby away, even if she consents, one day she may feel like she made the wrong choice and blame you, rather than herself.

The reality will hit her soon enough, and the choice may be clear without your intervention.

Good luck to you with this. And good luck to your daughter as well.

Answer 3

You may consider letting the baby stay with the father's side of the family. I don't know if your daughter is still with him, but that may alleviate some of the stress at your home if they are still together. Another thing you might consider is having your daughter give the baby up for adoption to a family that lives close enough by so that your daughter may stay in contact with the baby. You don't say how old she is( 14 /19 ), but this would allow her to complete high school. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I had my son at 16. My mother told me to get an abortion or move out. Well I moved. Now she treats him like he is god. Her and I do not have a good relationship at all because of the choices she tried to make me make. Being a teenage mom is not always a bad thing. If it was not for my son I would probably not be alive today. I know it has to be hard but you have to let her make that decision or she may regrett it and not be able to live with her self. You may want to also talk to her about adoption. There are many wonderful women out there that cannot be mothers. I think it is a great gift to be able to bless someone like that. If I could have more kids I would definately want to bless other familys like that. THere are open adoptions where she could still get pictures and know how her child is and whatch him or her grow. Good luck in what ever decision you two make. This could bring you closer together!!

Answer 5

I was once a single pregnant young woman. My folks went ahead and helped me out. I lived with them for one year. I am still so grateful for the help. Maybe having a baby around will give everyone something to focus on and love and relieve some of the stress in your home. Just remember to keep your priorities straight.
My son is now 27 years old and my life would have been so empty without him.

Answer 6

This isn't about you. Sorry. Maybe that was your daughter's point.

Mothers sacrifice, that's the nature of the job, but if your child is bringing another child into the world, what you have on your plate doesn't matter to that baby. You don't need me to tell you that.

The best thing you can do is unsugar coat your daughter's view of her future right now, before she gets too cozy with a rose colored version of her future.


Your teenage daughter is going to have a rough life but, enabling her by doing anything more than you would if she were married in a home of her own, would be wrong. Advise her, but don't do it for her. Don't babysit unless your daughter is ill. Make her get a job, keep a job, and take maternity leave and then return to work like every other responsible woman in the world.

No government support, if she's old enough to make these choices she's darned old enough to pay for them herself.

The girl is going to have to work to earn money to pay for at least part of the expenses of raising this child in your home. Make it clear to her that not one dime that she earns is her own personal use unless all of her obligations to her child and to you (who will now be her landlord) are met.

She will have to finish her education so that she can get a better job so that her child can have a decent future, which is the least she owes her child.

Instead of sleeping, she is going to be caring for her child, cooking, cleaning, shopping, and generally turing into a drudge before her time.

No dates, no proms, no parties, no breaks. "Having" a child is easy for most women, and tragically easy for teenagers. Deserving a child is something else.

I feel for you mom, but your daughter somehow got the impression that this was ok.

I am a proponent of the five year birth control insert for teens. It only solves one of the problems of teen sex but that is one big problem.

Mom, get your other teens on the five year birth control insert and, don't shield your younger ones from what your daughter is going to go through. Tough lesson, but mom, it's too late to do anything else but support your daughter's decision in a firm and responsible manner.

Good luck. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 7

How old exactly is your teenager daughter? I got pregnant with my first at 19. Try being supportive, afterall you are going to be a grandmother. Make your daughter also get a job if she doesn't have one already. She is going to need to support her child, and shouldn't expect you to. If she is under 18 she can receive birth control (free I think) from planned parenthood after she gives birth.

Try to help her become a responsible parent.

Answer 8

You should give her a deadline to 1. find a job 2. find a place to live and 3. get care for the baby and stick to it. Tell her she has 30-60 days to get out or terminate the pregnancy so she can be responsible for her own actions. If you dont make her become responsible (which you obviously haven't done thus far) she will just have a baby and leave you to take care of it and go off and keep getting pregnant and ruining her life while you watch her kids.

Answer 9

Well if she wants it it's a mistake that she has to learn from you can' t force someone to abort it or give it up for adoption because it all comes back she'll hold a grudgeon you yes things can work out better but no matter whats going on a baby is a blessing it's okay to be mad but aborting is still killing no matter how small it is. It can work just have patience for her mistake she'll learn the hard way that having a child is not easy but if she was resposible to have sex then let her face reality of what comes after it she should get on birth comtrol after the baby. My advice to you. i hope you don' t get bothered from it.

Answer 10

Well she may be too young to keep the baby in all actuality but in 20 years do you want to have the guilt of not only making your child give up their child or your grandchild..do you want to wonder where they are. Maybe you can get help with her baby from your church, friends...yes it may be really hard for a few years but in the long run, you will be glad you did it...seek whatever help you can get for your daughter and try and make the father and his family responsible too. Good luck and God Bless