I met this guy online. We have a lot in common. We have great conversations. But there are some things that bother me about him. He's really laid back and a little too sensitive. I'm used to having an assertive man. Is he not a man man by being overly laid back. He grew up in a household full of women. I'm scared that he may be the type to after 5 years of marriage come to me and tell me he's sleeping with men. We've only been out on a couple of dates, am I overthinking this? Should I give him a chance? Maybe what that's what I needed to change with the guys I've been into in the past. They were assertive etc. but they were all @$$holes. What do you guys think??? I need outside opinions!
2006-11-28 03:54:42 · 18 answers · asked by DajaVu07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him a chance.
2006-11-28 03:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by E B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not be gay at all. He grew up with only female role models, so there is no surprise that he's more sensitive and have certain traits you consider feminine (but are really just a matter of how we are raised).
Also -- There are plenty of heterosexual men who are more submissive. They may be submissive or passive emotionally and/or sexually (it's call 'femdom' and can go to extremes or be just a mild form of sex play). If you connect on other levels and you can live with (or even enjoy being the boss), then you may have something worth keeping. But if you want an assertive guy in all areas of your life, then you should throw him back into the pool.
2006-11-28 12:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say give him a chance. I'm very laid back as well, but that sensitive thing is what I'm curious about. What type of things is he doing to be considered sensitive. I think there IS a thing as being too sensitive if you're a guy. Give him a chance, but just keep it in the back of your mind until you're pretty sure he's a "man". You should know immediately by his acts of intimacy towards you.
2006-11-28 11:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by DJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that your already wondering if he will come out in 5 years and tell you he's sleeping with men it's a warning. Usually our still small voice is right. I think that's not something we can tell you Cu's we don't know him but the fact that your having doubts about it it's a sign. It's up to you if it's a risk you want to take.
I like guys with balance that at assertive but that they are not afraid to show their emotional side so actually I'm ok with guys being sensitive but not to the point were I start wondering if they are gay or not cus if that was the case were I start wondering then I wouldn't even get involved.
2006-11-28 11:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by calimexgirl!! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was in your situation one time and I ended up walking all over the guy, I had a hard time getting rid of him, in the end it ruined what could of been a good platonic friendship.....but he just didn't cut it for me as a boyfriend....my advice if you are used to assertive men going over to the other side with overly sensitive men isn't going to work for you.....you might find yourself being mean and eventually you won't want to be around him......Find a guy who is on the same page as you and you will make it fabulously......Good-Luck
2006-11-28 12:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was raised by a single mother, i am not as assertive as i can be, i am probably a bit more sensitive than some, and by no means does this mean i am gonna ever like bum love. Thats rediculous!!! If he was gay, hed be gay. You are probably right, those guys wwere jerks, maybe there is a reason for that???
2006-11-28 11:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are making horrible assumptions. Just because a guy is not macho, that does not make him gay.
I am assertive, but sensitive. Men are finally changing and for the better. Do not expect a macho man.
Look at your own question. "They were assertive etc. but they were all @$$holes."
Take care,
Troy
2006-11-28 11:58:19 · answer #7 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well since you have had so much success with assertive men before, why not try something new. It can't hurt and maybe he may surprise you.
2006-11-28 11:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you only have met him online and not in person, you know very little about him except what he tells you. Meeting online can be very deceptive. Tread very carefully.
2006-11-28 12:00:14 · answer #9 · answered by blaze_your_brow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take things slow and see how it goes. If after a while it still bothers you, end things.
2006-11-28 11:58:43 · answer #10 · answered by Egoli 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he already has a woman.Time will only tell if he flings you up on his shoulder and walks you to his cave.
2006-11-28 12:01:36 · answer #11 · answered by moaistatue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋