People with small children answer please. Our son is 5 years old and he was supposed to start Kindergarten?

Question

this year. He is severely allergic to tree nuts and they will cause him to have an anaphylactic reaction. Two weeks before school was to start I called the principal to inform her of his condition and told her his doctor said all teachers should be informed of who he is and aware of his condition. I also spoke with the nurse and his teacher. I expressed that he doesn't realize how dangerous the nuts are to him because he's only 5, but it was very important that other children not share food with him. On the first day a child did share with him. Chocolate candy, no nuts thank God. I seen the chocolate smears in his lunch kit. We pulled him out of school the following day. I am horrible at the home school thing, and he really wants to go to school to be with other kids. Do you think it would be okay if I put him back in and went and had lunch with him every day? Or is it too risky that someone will share on the playground? Serious answers only please, this is the life of my child.

Of course I am trying to teach him not to take food from others, but if a child that he considers a friend is offering him food he will trust that because he doesn't think they will hurt him.

Answer 1

In our elementary schools, each teacher and support staff receives a handout containing information about children in the school with allergies. The child's picture along with the child's name and the specific allergy with any important details (such as where their epi pens are kept) are easily acessed if there is an incident. Our lunch room provides a nut-free table. I understand the seriousness of your situation and the fears that you have. I have 4 children of my own who do not have food allergies, but have friends who do. I have been a daycare provider for 20 years and have cared for numerous children with allergies. I have also been a classroom parent volunteer for 21 years. It has been my experience that school age children with allergies can know the limits on what they can eat. Because this allergy will affect him most, your son needs to be given the empowerment and the tools needed to keep himself safe when he is not with you. He is old enough, even at 5 years old, to understand the importance of not eating anything during the school day except what you have packed for him. He is old enough to know that he can say "no, thank you, that may make me sick" when offered anything by a classmate. You can volunteer to come into his classroom and give a short child-friendly talk about not sharing food with your son because he will get sick. All kids understand it is no good to be sick and they will begin to watch out for him. I have seen this happen in every classroom that has a child with an allergy. The school will help you if you let them. It is their job to keep your son safe when he is at school and they will take that job seriously if you give them a chance. If you feel it may be time for him to return to school, then you can begin the preparation needed to send him after the Christmas/Winter Break time You may consider spending time working with him on practicing saying "no thank you" when offered anything to eat. Give him practice in identifying what is dangerous for him and what is safe. If you pulled your son from school with no explanation to the administration and staff, they will need to be made aware of what happened and your desire for him to return. It is essential to have a working relationship with your son's school regardless of the fact he has an allergy. Open communication with expressing your fears, concerns and offering suggestions will make the learning enviornment a good one for your son. You may also ask your principal if she can put you in touch with the parents of older students who have allergies so you can have the confidence to know that other students have been through the school system and were well cared for. A slightly older student may even become a mentor for your son and they will be able to discuss how it feels to have a serious allergy. Kids like to know that there are other kids like them.

Answer 2

Ok. First, you need to go back to the school and explain what happened and try not to over-react. They have their hands full as it is. Explain to your son that he can not eat anything and you mean anything that someone gives him. I have four kids and the youngest is six. She would not eat something that someone else gave her unless I told her it was okay. I know boys are a little more immature than girls so this might not happen right away, but you need to remind him everyday when he gets on that bus and eventually it will sink in. The only other option is to put him in a private school with fewer kids to watch and a stricter guidelines. I know my kids were at one time in a private school and they were not allowed nuts of any kind. I am sure you are about nuts from just making sure he eats nothing he is not suppose to. I watched my friend's little girl who was five also and she has allergies to peanuts. You would not believe the things that have peanut oil in them. I was a wreck making sure all my kids understood she could not have certain things. Don't give up. God only gives kids like him to people who can take care of them. Good luck!

Answer 3

You can't watch him all the time at school - kids find ways of eating not just at lunchtime.

Try to stick it out a while longer, until he understands better how important it is that he only eats what you give him. Also he should know how to use an epi-pen or know when he needs help and how to get it - until then I'd keep him home.

There are homeschool collectives and playgroups in many towns that can give you support. Everyone sucks at it at first. You'll get better, and maybe next year if you work with him a lot on the allergy issue, he can go to school.

Answer 4

Do not take your child out of school because of his allergies. I think homeschooling is just a bad idea in most cases, especially this one. Your child is old enough to understand the things he should avoid. Make sure he and his teachers understand that he's not allowed to eat anybody else's food. If it is a lifetime thing, it's something he needs to adapt to and learn to deal with, and social interaction with peers at his age is very important.

Make sure he knows not to take any food offered to him. I know some parents who's kids dont have any allergies and teach them that. Help him out by putting treats with his lunch so he wont be tempted to eat others' food. Definitely make sure staff members that have contact with him are aware of his medical issues. If there any emergency treatments/procedures/meds make sure they are around him at all times.

I understand this is serious for you, but your kid is gonna be fine and you shouldn't allow his allergy to get in the way of his social development at this critical age.

Answer 5

WOW! I'm a teacher and a mother of a 4 year old! I cannot believe that your child was not watched better than that! I do, however, realize that it is hard to watch so many children at one time. The school that I student taught at had a child that was severly allergic to peanuts. They banned all peanuts, or anything cooked with peanut oil from the school grounds.........lunchroom, snacks...etc... Seems like the school would have taken those actions. Maybe you should suggest that.

Answer 6

I say go with your daughter's choice. Given the feedback you've received, I would try to weigh the other factors only if she was reluctant Surely you can take her out and start over next year if it becomes a truly dismal experience? It's more likely she will enjoy getting away from the babies to be with the "big" kids.

Answer 7

have u ever taught your son not to take foods from others? or told him about his allergies.
this year make it your goal to teach your son how dangerous his allergies are. teach him not to take things from other people. tell him if he wants to go to school, he need not take things from anybody, no matter who they are.

get him a medical alert bracelet.

do what u did before and tell everyone about his allergies and who to call in case of an emergency.

do not have lunch with your son everyday. that is so embarrrassing,the whole school will find out about the kindergardener who has to have lunch with his mommy.

Answer 8

Find a school that is committed to being nut-free. Its really not so hard for all the parents in a school to shop smart and alter their kids lunches a bit. We've been doing it for our kids' school for years. More and more products are being made nut free as well to help out.

Answer 9

I have a niece with that same allergy and she NEVER was pulled out of school. You are over reacting. Yes, I know...it is the life of your child, but it is up to you to talk to him about the dangers of eating food that you haven't packed for him. Also, you need to provide the school nurse's office with an Epi-Pen for him, in case of emergency.

Put the poor kid back in school before he thinks he's been bad and you are punishing him.

Answer 10

i think the answer lies in teaching him better.
adults will not be able to be there every second to watch.
you have to teach him to be very afraid of
food that does not come from you.
this will be a lifelong process, with him taking more
responsibility as he gets older.
i think you can send him to school but you must train
him well. and make sure he knows if he eats any other
food you will take him out of school.
in the long run it is yours and his responsibility to control
what he ingests. other adults can help but not control totally.