when do you think its best to introduce a child to a partner? ive been with my boyfriend for six months,its a long term relationship and i think its time i introduced my four year old son to him.what do you think?
2006-11-28 03:30:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
On our first date, my boyfriend told me he had two kids the eldest was only 4 at the time, he constantly dropped hints about meeting them but I was terrified (what if it didn't work out etc). I was introduced to them 'as a friend' by the end of the first month when I felt ready, and when my boyfriend felt comfortable enough to trust me with being around his kids. He took them out on a trip to the park and invited me along to meet them. It was a very relaxed atmosphere, and we definitely bonded better from that first day because they wanted someone to push them on the swings and watch them on the slide. It's now 4 years later, and we are planning to get married with the kids at the wedding - they are really excited about it too.
Don't force your child onto your partner, let him feel comfortable with the idea first. If it helps you to check whether you would trust him or be happy for him to meet and play with your son, talk about your son when you are with him - the things he does, the things he says, the places you go with him, and make him part of the conversation. He is a big part of your life, and this should form part of your relationship with your partner- as he gets to know you, he gets to know a bit about your son, and this should help him feel a bit more comfortable about meeting him when he is ready. Also, when you go out, let your son know that you are going out with 'your friend X' just so he becomes aware of the name, and also aware that there is another man in your life. At that age, children become very possessive and he needs to feel that any man you are with is not a threat to him or his relationship with you. Good Luck.
2006-11-28 06:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by Kami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should introduce when your ready. as a four year old he wont understand the relationship. if your relationship is srious then its time to introduce them. do it slowy like meet in the park first where your son and boyfrined can play. then let him see your son more and more. think about what you would of wanted when you were four, if your mum had a new boyfriend. what would you pefer. i dont think you wait till you get married cos it will be to much for the your son. at least if he knows your boyfriend he can be a page boy or something and be included so he dosnt feel left out.
hope all goes well
2006-11-28 11:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I"m a single mom to. My daughter is 8, I don't introduce her to the guys that I have dated till I reach the 6 month mark. And even then I don't have them together alot. I'll introduce them to her as a "friend". I don't allow her to us hold hands or kiss, and I don't allow her to get close to the guy, until I find that special someone. I think 6 months is a good tiem to introduce them, atleast though
2006-11-28 11:41:06 · answer #3 · answered by his wife 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is going to have an opinion in this area, but only you know your son and partner well enough to make that decision.
I think its very admirable that you haven't taken the 'chav' opproach and dumped this guy on your son as soon as you met him and told your son to call him dad, too many women introduce too many "uncles" to their kids at such an early stage.
Well done for being so sensible
2006-11-28 11:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Pink Princess♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree 6 months isn't a long time and you should really introduce them as a friend!
4 year olds are very impressionable and it would get very confusing to keep introducing him to 'father figures'.... It will progress when the realtionship is ready!
Hope that helps!
2006-11-28 11:35:20 · answer #5 · answered by pinead101 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
6 months is not long term. You should not introduce a child to a new "friend" until the relationship is very serious. I think that once you decide to marry, that would be a good time.
2006-11-28 11:33:48 · answer #6 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think now is perfectly fine. Just introduce him as a friend. Theres nothing wrong with that and sometimes it can prove to be good for your son. Maybe they will bond well and he will have at the very least a male role model.
2006-11-28 11:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not agree that you should wait till you decide to marry but also not from the start, children should not meet a succession of 'uncles' round the breakfast table !! I think they should meet early on but the man should not come to your house until you know it is serious. If you wait until its TOO serious, then if they dont get on it will be upsetting for you, a new man needs to fit into your life and the childs.
2006-11-28 11:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by Ktloop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you're a little late. i'm sure your son knows what friends are? you should have been including your son on some outings with "mom's new friend" and explained to him that this is your new friend and it's important to you that your son let you know how he likes him, so you can decide if he, your partner, can be a friend to you both. you've been with your partner for 6 months now, what happens if your son doesn't take to your partner? are you going to have to make a choice? are you going to make you son "deal" with this partner because now, after 6 months, you've started to have feelings for each other? have you now wasted 6 months building a foundation that you have to sacrifice for your son?
wow. i feel for you...
2006-11-28 11:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by mama dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that 6 months is long enough for you to know if the man you are with is right for you. And if you feel really at ease and comfortable and so does he then yes it probably is the right time to do so, with a softly, softly approach, and I am sure that everything will go really well. Good luck and all the best
2006-11-28 11:34:01 · answer #10 · answered by sammy78 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋