My boyfriend broke up with me and I am still completely in love with him. We never argued or had any real problems. He only broke up with me because he didn't think he was good enough for me, which is silly because I always told him how wonderful he was. He didn't think he made enough money or spent enough time with me... and I'm not materialistic, so I didn't care that he was poor.
Anyway, I just need to know how to get over him because I don't want to think about him and the "what if", and all of that stuff.
I don't want to move on, but I know I should....to be healthy or whatever, so....any tips on that?
Oh, and for those of you who will suggest that I find someone new: I'm letting my X (father of my kids) try to start again because I do love him, I'm just not "in love" with him. I guess I figure that if I can't be happy with the one I want, at least I can let the kids and their father be happy. I'm used to being depressed anyway. So it's just going back to the way it was.
2006-11-28 03:02:58 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Directed to Slappy...MC... and others of his mind-set: He was not just telling me a line. He and I know and have both agreed that we are soulmates and completely in love. He called me today to apologize for the pain he caused, to tell me there isn't a moment that goes by when he doesn't think of me, and that hopefully his financial and emotional issues will be taken care of by this coming spring. He worried that by taking this break he was possibly loosing the best thing in his life. He let me know I could call him and talk to him whenever I wanted or needed, and out of habit was telling me his schedule for the week. I am always so proud of him when he does something new at work well. I can't be mad at his choice, and I know he still loves me, that this break up was what he thought was best. He said he just couldn't give me all of himself at this time, and that was what he wanted to do and felt I deserved....All of him.
He's not seeing anyone else: just work, school, & his kids.
2006-11-28 11:03:58 · update #1
i guess to cut out your heart!!! or find someone else to fall in love with
2006-11-28 03:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do when you are still in love is first give it some time he either has other reasons, girls, or he is having personal issues.
But if it is for sure he is not coming back, think about it as a good experience and all the good times you spent tightener it was not wasted it was worth it.
Next occupy your time in a new activity, depending on what you like best. I personally like to volunteer once in a while it puts your problems in perspective so that you don't feel so bad. Avoid any contact or memory of him until you see him as a past relationship. Get your feelings out on paper or cry it out with a friend or on your own, it helps.
When you are thru with your treatment call him and ask him if you can still be friends, after all if the relationship was a good one he will make a good friend if not he was never yours.
After all love in a relationship is between two people not one and if he did not love himself enough to think he is worth being loved, then he probably needs some time any way to figure it out anyways, and he was not your type.
You need someone that values himself as much as he will value you and your kid.
2006-11-28 11:21:17 · answer #2 · answered by Daniela G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, I feel for you. I've been there. I don't think you ever truly stop being in love with someone. I'm married with two kids and I love my wife very much, but I still have feelings for more than one of my past loves. The simple fact is that they didn't work out, and, like they say, there's no use crying over spilled milk. What's done is done. Even though you don't want to hear it you just have to move on. Time does indeed heal all wounds. As far as going back to your ex, that's admirable, but don't do it if your heart isn't in it. However, it wouldn't hurt to explore the possibility. Perhaps, if he is in the same frame of mind, you could make it work. Leave your options open.
2006-11-28 11:11:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion only.
Love is choice and there is no difference between "in love" and "love". You choose who to love. If it is not a choice, it is only chemical (animal attraction).
So, I think you have to choose the right path for you and your kids. Typically, if you choose correctly for your kids, that guy is probably good for you too.
Also, after a breakup, you need to be alone for a while. If you get with anyone quickly, it is only a bandaid. You need to be completely healed and happy with yourself before you are ready to have another partner. So, be quiet, pray, meditate, etc.. and don't be quick to hook up again.
Lastly, you are not alone. Almost every human on the planet has gone thru what you are going thru. So, trust in God and the old saying is true " Time Heals All Wounds".
Give it time, be patient, do what is right for the kids, get spiritual and all will work out well.
Good Luck!
2006-11-28 11:10:14 · answer #4 · answered by slscoder 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love is hard to get over, but soon or later you will. Somethings are not meant to be and. In life you have to learn to love and let love go. Its hard to do, but you have to do it on order to have a great life. You will find true love again. Maybe he didnt deserve you and that you are better off without him. You will find your soulmate. In life not all people are able to date one person and that be the only person in their life. You have to explore a little bit, true love will come at the right time. You have to be patient.
Try going out, doing women things. Try taking your miond off of him and on you. Far as you getting back with your kids father, you have to make sure that this is something you can handle. Its not good to settle for whatever, because that way things never work out. Its great that you are thinking in the best interest of your kids, but you have to think about you as well. You have to be able to be happy in order to make your family happy. Now if you feel that you are going to fall in love with him and that you and him can work this thing out and he is the one for you,. Then by all means go for it. Sweetie you have to follow your heart, you have to take your feelings in consideration when you are thinking about things like this. In order to make someone else happy you have to be happy.
2006-11-28 11:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by Kiwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what is best for you. But using someone else to feel a void is no the right hing to do in my opinion. Your children will never be truly happy you are not happy. Believe me I have been in your shoes and I know what it is like to be hurt. and when you really love someone you always will. you just have to find a way to not think about it. and when you do think about how much fun that you had together and hold that close to you. Try to forget the pain.
2006-11-28 11:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by mommy 2k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up stop being so sad find a sitter a go out with you closest girl Friends and just have fun. The more you act depressed your kids will pick up on that! There is always love after a loss of one it wont happen fast so don't rush it instead of looking for a new love you already have one ............your kids tell them how much you love them. Hope this helped you out.
2006-11-28 11:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by kim806 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give your self time, and I do not think jumping into a realationship is the answer at all. If you are not happy your kids will not be happy. Find your self have fun and try not being tied down for a while.
2006-11-28 11:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey.
i am so sorry.
it's SO hard, i went through the same thing. Had what i thought was a "good" relationship. but of course, he thought differently. Pretty much most of the same reasons you gave too. One thing that helped me SO much was this book called "It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken--The Smart Girls' Break-up Buddy"
I am not a reader at all, in fact I hate reading. But seriously, this book saved me life. It was my "bible" for 3 months. Please go get it and read it. Read it twice.
2006-11-28 11:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not do that... Being in love is such a great feeling!!!
Your ex and the kids will be happy regardless...
Once you get over the pain, please go out there and date and have fun...
You never know what the future/new partner may hold for you...
All I know is that it will only get better... Everyone deserves to be in love and happy...don't deny yourself that...
Good luck...
2006-11-28 11:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by Milkywayman22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the oldest and lamest line in the book. He just said it because he was trying to lessen the blow to your ego or feelings. Now, let's take a look at the reality of the situation.
He's not in love with you anymore, and doesn't want to be with you. I don't pretend to know why. Maybe he thinks you're not his type, or maybe he can't see when he has something good. Who knows? The point is... it's probably over, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to move on with your life.
2006-11-28 11:08:11 · answer #11 · answered by Stretchy McSlapNuts 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋