i don't know what to do.?

Question

my boyfriend and i have been fighting for a week because he is a inconsiderate asshole. he never has respect for me or my 3 kids, he treats me like his servant. we have been living together for 4 months and he hasn't even taken interest in my kids. now since thursday he told me to move into the living room until i can move out and get my own place. it has been almost a week and we still havent talked, on sat & sun i went with my friends to atlantic city to get away from my problems. we still haven't spoke since. i don't know what to do. i have no money saved up and no where to live. my kids have always hated him and they always will. my kids even agree with me that he should move and not us. what can i do.. should i continue sleeping on the couch or what..

my man thinks that he is so full of himself because he has a business and money and i don't. he is unbelievable, also to say he is a pakistani man..

i am very independent on myself, i work full time and just recently graduated with a bachelors degree. the thing is that i don't want to move out because i spent alot of money into getting this apartment and buying all my furniture. but he is making it hard for me to live there because both of our names are on the lease. he won't move willingly becuase he don't want to see me happy.

Answer 1

I'm not sure if I am repeating everyones answer, but what I can say is congrats on th BA and It will be tough! I know your in a very hard jam, I know what it feels like to be left out in the cold with no one to lean on and no where to go! Being with a pakastian man is hard; They are moody, they inconsiderate and they don't care about anyone but themselves. Your best interest is to leave. I know you spent all that time in getting that apt. You have to live with that lease until your time is up. If I where you, I would tell the man to get on the couch. A woman and the children always deserve the bedroom. I only have one kid, but its hard! Even harder for you with 3 kids. kick him to the curb. If he even lay's a hand on you get a witness and tell the manager that he's being abusive. He'll get aressted and you'll be set free of the lease. I know you can work independantly, but you have to think of your children first! No MAN can tell you how to run your life. Be the dominate! Don't let him win. I know men like that! You need someone better! Do not let him tell your children what to do. He cannot lay a hand on them. If his name is on the lease as well, it will be very difficult to get him out, but like I said YOU deserve the bedroom and so do your children, so tell him to put up or shut up. It will be hard and things will get tougher. Please bare with it. Tell your children to bare with it as well. If he refuses to leave after the lease call your manager and tell her that you would like to take over the payments! I know I don't know the whole intire situation, but I'm sure you'll work it out your a strong woman. Just keep your head up and always be loving to your children.

Answer 2

See my answer the last time you asked this.
Now you add more details.
I still think you need to put your kids first. Stop playing the victim. Do you work, if so figure out a way that you can move out or stand up to him and make him move. Play on the fact that he is a man and has no kids to take care of and what kind of a man boots a woman and her children out?
Call your local housing authority, get on a list for apartments for lower income people, call anyone and everyone that could have some advise for you and the area you live in and what your options are. And stop partying! You have kids! They come first and they grow fast. Your kids are suffering through this and you must be there for them. The last thing they need is a Mom who is taking off and clubbing all the time. They grow too fast, be there for them now when they need you.

If your name is on the lease than you have rights. Call Legal Aid or talk to an attorney. But do whatever you have to do. You teach people how to treat you. Stand up for yourself to this guy.

Answer 3

Why in the world did you move in with him or even keep dating him if he has always hated your kids? Where is your kids' father in all this?
This is why I would never date a woman with kids. They always expect me to get all cozy with the kids. I might like the kids, but I'm not their father, and I'm not their friend. The best I could be is just the old man their mother is dating. Not much clout. Yes, you come as a package, but he didn't bring the kids into the world, he shouldn't be held responsible for them. You should be responsible for the kids. It sounds like you're doing that. Don't expect miricles, don't expect your boyfriend to pay for your past mistakes, don't expect your boyfriends to be happy at the idea of raising someone else's kids. Get over yourself, deal with your own attitude and arrogance, stop expecting your boyfriends to get on their knees for you and your children, and start showing some appreciation for what you have got. Have you ever even once thanked him for taking you and your kids in? He didn't have to, you know. If you don't have anywhere to go now, I'm guessing you didn't have anywhere else to go then either. I'm not saying he's perfect, you're probably right, he probably is an asshole who thought that since you already had three kids you'd be easy. I think you need to work on your image, and find a decent guy who is going to treat you right, but before you can do that, you've got to straighten up, realize you're not all that and a bag of chips, that you come with baggage, and that whoever you get is going to have to deal with that bagage, and be apreciative when they do.

Answer 4

I know that you may not want to hear this but, you are going to have to step out on faith and get from that situation. you need to be strong for you and your children and that means maybe doing something you don't want to do like go to a women's shelter so that you can get on your feet and put you kids in a good situation. You and your children don't deserve to be in a place where you don't feel wanted or loved. If you two got the place together than yes he should be a man and move out, (since he seems to be "SO" unhappy) but, if he is not willing then, you might have to dig deep inside yourself, and bite that bullet, and do what it takes to get you and your kids in a better situation. I hope the best you and you family and, stay strong.

Answer 5

You didn't state whos place it is- yours or his or did you rent it together? I live in Colo. and here (even with no contract) can one be thrown out without due process of law. Meaning he has to go through the eviction process. I would stay until you drive the asshole crazy and he moves out. Be careful that he doesn't harm the kids or you though. If he does anything such as this call the cops and file a domestic violence charge. He will be out in a heartbeat!

Answer 6

This is a very bad situation for you and especially your kids. He doesn't want you around so you need to find another place to stay. See if you can stay with a friend or family, or you may have to go to a shelter. I hope you have a job, too.

Answer 7

Since you have a degree and work I do not see why you have problem moving out.
If you want the best for your children and a calm, stressfree environment find a place of your own.

Answer 8

if you have your name on the lease and if you can afford the rent boot his abusif behind out. you can also get help from the state if you dont work. but with your bachelor degree it should not be hard finding a decent job.your kids come first and ditch the douchbage

Answer 9

So hes an asshole, told you to sleep on the couch until you moved out, you have no money to do so, and yet you went to Atlantic City.
You need to get priorities straight.

Answer 10

Try to keep your chin up babe! if anyones leaving it should be him.Keep strong for the sake of yor kids,sounds like your better off without the ********!