What should i do.?

Question

My boyfriend and i have been fighting since thanksgiving, he is an inconsiderate person. i have been sleeping on the couch every evening since. he won't talk to me and i didn't do any thing wrong. every since thanksgiving he has been being disrespectful and ignoring my 3 kids.. i don't know what to do. i have been taking care of myself and the kids and ignoring him. don't know how much longer i can take of this, what do i do, do i still sleep on the couch or say something to him.. we have been together 5 yrs and living together 4 months.

the thing is that i have no where to live and the apartment lease is in both of our names but he won't leave, he expects me to move out. but iam not leaving..

he is probably mad because he is broke because he bought a 4000 dollar leather couch or because i went away to atlantic city for the evening.

Answer 1

It is always a tough situation to answer a question like this when we do not know his side. There is nothing you can think of that might have caused this? Without knowing his side, I think the fact that he ignores your kids is enough reason to leave. No matter what the situation, chances are if he didn't not cause it that would mean you did (not saying you did just saying :) ). This means he is ignoring your kids for something either you or he did. Anyone like that does not deserve to be with you anyways. It probably isn't their fault. Have you asked him what the problem is? Tell him you just need to know and if can answer you will be satisfied and continue to ignore you after that, but you cannot try to resolve it if he does not tell you.

It could also be he is just no longer happy and is too weak of a person to just end it. He is hoping you will do the hard part for him. Anyways, like I said if he takes it out on the kids he really is not worth it. Your kids should come first to not only you but to anyone who claims to care about you. I think you should probably cut your losses and move on. Yes, I know it is much easier to say than do, but I wish you luck and all the best in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 2

So he's been a jerk for a week now? Mature adults don't act that way. So how comfortable is the $4,000 couch? Did you leave all your kids with him while you went to AC for a good time? I wouldn't be happy about that either, but it sounds like you guys need some time apart. Someone needs to leave, preferrably him who has the least amount of bags to pack. The kids do not need to see this man treating their mother poorly. Remember to put your kids first instead of trying too hard to please an inconsiderate boyfriend. Maybe you can turn to a friend or family member for a place to stay. I'd be strong and leave. If it doesn't work out, make sure you tell the landlord to take your name off the lease.

Answer 3

First things first you need to tell him to sleep on the couch and get yourself back into your bed, whether he is in it or not. Then you need to talk to him and find out what is wrong, try and do this calmly. Then perhaps you should consider taking the couch back as that is a lot for a couch

If the two of you don't talk about things then you will not be able to sort things out, communication is the key here. Also if after you have chatted things do not improve then perhaps for the sake of your kids you should have a trial separation as he shouldn't be disrespecting and ignoring them just because he is angry with you

Answer 4

It seems odd that you've been fighting almost a week, or just ignoring each other and you have no idea why? Seems to me that you have a lot at stake here in that you have 3 children in this household. Don't you owe it to them to make sure you have a functioning, happy household? Take to him in private and ask him what is wrong. If you truly are at a loss, tell him that. But I think you need to remember that your children come first. I personally would never be with a guy who ignored my kids. You say you've been together 5 years but only living together 4 months. Perhaps this relationship works best if you don't live together? But you must learn to be an adult and communicate.

Answer 5

Find someone else to stay with for a while since talking to him is not working, and allow him to see just how well he actually functions without you. Hopefully, he'll be begging for your return and show you some respect. If this fails, leave him. You deserve more respect and consideration. BTW, why are you the one sleeping on the couch?

Answer 6

the things to ask yourself are:
who's place is it?
if you both wont budge then you need to think of yourself and children,
he is a single person with just himself to worry about,you have 3 kids as well as yourself to consider,
sleeping on a couch is not a very good idea,your kids must know things are not the same between their mum and partner,if your in seperate rooms you will never talk things through.
you need to confront him and demand to know whats wrong,is he seeing some-one else,is he scared by the family thing,does get along with your children,is he fighting for your attention(some people are very jealous of their partners children and see them as a threat so they constantly fight for attention)
this seems an odd situation and if i were you i would demand to know whats going on so you know where your working from coz you have to think of your kids as well as yourself

Answer 7

first it would be wise to move out, people who live together with intentions of getting married are 60 times more likely to get a divorce within five years. Second it is a tremendously bad influence on your kids, not to mention that he probably treats them like crap. I am not trying to be judgmental just trying to help. take it or leave it.

Answer 8

Talk and get off the couch, this is not good for your children to see day in and day out
Good luck

Answer 9

Well You need to tell him that ,you guys need to sit down and have a serious discussion. It seems like he might be having second thoughts in regards to living together.

Answer 10

If he won't comunicate with you and tell you what's on his little mind, then there really ain't much you can do. You need to ask him to leave! You don't need that negative energy around your children or yourself. You can do BETTER, girl! You deserve someone who will treat you like a lady, not someone who will dis you like that.

Good Luck and God Bless.