Depressed wife............any light at the end?

Question

Seperated now, but seeing each other regular and speaking many times every day. We love each other, but her depression has taken it's toil. Finally got on medication and seems to be doing much better, and were getting along very well now.
Problem why seperated is that she is always down, pessimistic and difficult running down everything and me. We live in my house that was mine before. She insist on moving so the house will be hers too.
Two Questions: Do you think that is a major issue with her or just an excuse? Will the medication straighten her out so that we can actually resolve the other issues in our marriage?

Answer 1

You know, when you said those vows, you said for better or worse, in sickness and in health. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and not something the person brings on themselves. My wife went through a 2 year period of deep depression when she first injured herself and couldn't work anymore. It was hard but I stood by her and we got through it together. Yes the antidepressants will help once they find the right one for her and the right dosage. I would also recommend counseling. My wife went through the United Way because they only charge you based on what you are able to pay. It really helped her alot to have an outside person to talk to. She is fine now, still takes the meds, but is a new person. Help her through this and work through it together. She will get better and it will happen faster with your love and support.

Answer 2

Hello. I think the moving thing may be a serious issue with her, but it might not have to be.... Maybe suggest that she can do whatever she wants with the house you live in now, so it can feel more like hers... Maybe give her more closet space or something?? If that doesn't work, then I think moving would be a great idea. If it helps your marriage, then why not?

As for the medication, it should help alot. But there are things that she needs to be doing aside from the medication to get her better. Make sure she is exercising....this will give her more energy which will inturn make her happier. Also, make sure she is taking some sort of vitamins...a womens one a day will do. And also a healthy diet. All of these things combined will naturally make her feel better physically and emotionally which will help a lot with the depression. THis combined with the medication should work wonders. Don't let her just sit back and wait until the meds kick in when there are things she could be doing now.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If your wife is suffering from the mental illness of depression than there are likely a great many things that you take as negative issues towards you and your marriage that are just the disease. That type of ignorance is something you are going to have to get beyond if you want your marriage to work. Depression is something that afflicts someone. It's not something they choose.

Depression is something that responds very well when treated correctly. Medication can sometimes help but has a lousy success rate on its own. What you want is to find a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who will do Cognitive Behavioral therapy for her. A Licensed Clinical Psychologist is someone with either a PhD in Clinical Psychology or a Doctor of Psychology who has taken your states licensure exam and now has the right to use this legally defined and protected term. These are the people who are trained to do therapy. Most others are not qualified and rarely do any good (often, they make things worse). They use various non-defined terms like therapist, psychotherapist etc. he person who can do the therapy correctly for her is the Licensed Clinical Psychologist. This has a high efficacy rate but takes time and effort to work (you are looking at several months of hard work here). Likely, you will have to help out because, often, a disease like depression has links to certain behaviors present in important relationships (like a marriage). It would be a VERY good idea to discuss this with the doctor because it is likely the root of the reasons that lead to your separation. This is treatable, once you are aware of what is going on and is probably the most important thing you can do to heal your marriage.

Answer 4

I can tell you that medication will help, but it can sometimes be a lengthy process finding the right ones. I'm sure your wife can't help the way she feels. She needs your love and support as much as possible through this, but at the same time you can't give more than you are able. I definatly think that her depression isn't an excuse. Depression is a very real thing, as I suffer from it..and hate it, and am very ashamed of it. Before I got on meds I didn't realize just how awful I was to be around. It wasn't until I got on the right meds that I was able to think clearly and rationally. So, there definatly is hope...but how long are you willing to wait for it? As long as your wife is trying to get help for it, and realizes that she needs something to help her, then she's on the right track and your support will mean the world to her right now. She'll thank you later. But unfortunatly it's not much fun for you in the meantime. Good luck.

Answer 5

Depression is NOT an excuse. It is a disease. Would you consider cancer an excuse?

If your wife is depressed, medication will undoubtedly help. However, it may take some time to find the right combination of drugs and 'talk' therapy may also be necessary to help her understand her triggers and warnings that her depression is spiraling again. I would strongly urge that you learn as much as you can about depression from reputable sources (not Tom Cruise, for example) so that you can stop viewing her disease as an excuse and be a help to her in her recovery (which may be short term or it may be a lifelong process). You two should also have marriage counseling together to assess your problems.

If you are not willing to do that, then you should tell her so that she can deal with that now rather than believing with false hope that you are someone upon whom she can rely.

Answer 6

Antidepressants take approximately six weeks to start to work and that depends on whether it is the right medication for her. Sometimes you have to try a couple of different kinds to find the proper dose and kind. She needs to get therapy as well. Some people just are negative and that is how they have been brought up or how they percieve the world around them. Give her a chance and have her speak to a professional, and only time will tell whether this relationship will work out or not for the both of you. God bless.

Answer 7

The medication will help some, ...but the issues you have will need resolved. I would suggest marriage counseling. If your both genuinely interested in making this marriage work..there should be no question as to whether or not your willing to do what ever it takes..... Best of luck to you both.....As for the house...isn't an issue unless your plan to divorce.

Answer 8

perchance attempt to envision different childcare ideas for them in the journey that your figure do not favor to keep up a correspondence. i does no longer imagine, yet for sure i do not recognize him or you, that if he is going out each and every of the time he might want to waste his time inflicting a scene at mom and dads abode. yet thats a probability they curiously do not favor to take. So inspect human beings on your existence that would want to provide you some help for the evening. the alternative is, kick him out damage up and bypass on which include your existence and bypass out over again. Regardless if he can manage to pay for to get an area on his personal or no longer thats no longer your problem. in the journey that your dont then your finished and that i'll vow you this you wont have many adult males wanting to keep up a correspondence with you with that drama. Having 2 childrens and bing fairly unmarried is one ingredient yet having your ex husband nonetheless residing with you and being an alchy is yet another. So be a touch egocentric and picture about you and the youngsters and what your lengthy time period plans are.

Answer 9

The medication can level her out. But what happens when and i she stops taking the medication? She also needs to be in counseling. You just really have to make the decision if you want to hope for the best or leave before it could get worse.

Answer 10

think logically

if u are separated, then i think that the tweo of u r not for each other ne more, u dont want her, but u want the house, and same is the case with her, she does not let go off u , coz she doers not want to lose the house.

if house is more important to u than ur mental physical and physiological health, yes go ahead, try to reconcile, and follow the advice of all the other ppl here.

i dont want to be rude here, but i have seen ppl with depression, even medication has not helped them. and living with ppl with depression is not at all an easy task, atleast i cant. for them there is no light at the end, and even if u convince them thjat yes there is one, but then they will find another dark tunnel to be in.

so i would say ADIOS AMIGO