Scottish History - Edward Longshanks (Edward I of England and allegedly Scotland ) comes to Scotland to hammer the Scots. He brings 4,000 men with him.
As he reaches the battlefield, suddenly on the crest of a hill there appears a solitary figure, a little ginger-haired guy in a kilt.
"Hammer of the Scots?" yells the wee Scottish guy on the hill. "Come up here, ya English bastards, and I'll give ye hammer!"
Edward turns to his commander and says, "Take 20 men and deal with that Scottish upstart!"
The commander sends 20 men over the hill to kill the Scot.
Ten minutes later, at the crest of hill, the little Scot appears again.
"Ye English bastards!" he yells. "Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I'll have ye!!!"
Edward is getting somewhat annoyed.
He turns to his commander. "Take 100 men and kill that little guttersnipe!"
The commander sends 100 men over the hill to do the job.
Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the hill again, his hair all sticking up, his shirt a bit torn.
"Ye English SCUM!" he yells. "I'm just warming up!!! Come and get me!!!"
Edward loses patience. "Commander, take 400 men and personally WIPE HIM OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!" he yells.
The commander gulps, but leads 400 men on horseback over the crest of the hill.
Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all torn, his face is covered in blood, snot and grime, and he yells, "Is that the best ye can do???? You're all bloody WUMMIN!!!! Come on, come and have a go ya bunch of Jessie's!!!"
Edward turns to his second in command "Take 1000 men over that hill and don't come back till you've killed him!" he commands.
The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate.
Five minutes later, one of the English troops appears back at the top of the hill. He's covered in blood and his clothes are all torn.
"You're Majesty!!" he yells. "It's a trap!!! There's TWO of them!!!"
2006-11-28 01:45:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Well I'm American and I've never heard it and I think It's hilariously funny.Thanks for sharing!
2006-11-28 02:01:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lang May Yur Lum Reek Darl And Have A Happy St. Andrews Day On Thursday. Aussie Aussie Aussie. Come On The Tartan Army!
2006-11-28 09:58:54 · answer #2 · answered by Paul R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a pretty old joke! I've known that since I was a kid!
I'm Welsh and we used to tell exactly the same joke but with Edward I and the Welsh.
2006-11-28 09:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Love it..I have scottish ancestery from that time.
2006-11-28 09:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it, not heard it before and it made me laugh. Thankyou.
2006-11-28 10:01:41 · answer #5 · answered by Ezekiel Satchell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol brilliant
2006-11-28 09:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
excellent!
2006-11-28 10:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by markhatter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha...very good
2006-11-28 10:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by Fudgie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL
2006-11-28 10:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by Sunny-T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋