why do people have such a bad view of homeschooled children?

Question

the reason i ask is because people tend to automatically throw in the "your child wont be well socialized"line as the main reason why parents shouldnt homeschool.And I have a 9 yr old who has been homeschooled for all grades thus far, except for grade 2, and he is very socialble, is more respectful towards adults and others and the only time he became shy was when he spent 1 year in public school.We have a son who is 3 who has CP and his therapist comes to visit once a wk at our home to do OT and he even noted that our son was less social while in public school.

Answer 1

Well, contrary to the answer that says there are ONLY pro-homeschoolers on here, I saw a lot of answers that didn't seem too much in favor of homeschooling. Also, what is this nonsense that many children are homeschooled solely for the purpose of being abused!?
I was homeschooled all the way through 12th grade. Then I went to college where I was elected as president of multiple student organizations, elected president of my class, served on Pan-Hellenic council, worked in dorm management and counseling, and was involved in multiple social positions. So I don't think that my social skills suffered as a result of being home-schooled.
In response to the answerer who said that homeschoolers do not know how to work with groups or be leaders, I have won awards for leadership skill and innovation.
In answer to your question, I think people have this negative view because they don't want to admit that there could be a viable alternative to the public education system. When I first went to college, many people didn't believe me when I told them I was homeschooled. Too many people have a negative opinion based more on what they think from hearsay than from any real knowledge that they have.
I think, though, that the negative opinions are slowly being crumbled away by the fact that there are more and more successful homeschooled adults now than ever before. What I tell people, and what is really important to me, is not to base opinions on what others think but rather on what you experience. There will probably always be some who have a negative attitude toward homeschooling, but I think that they are becoming a minority.

Answer 2

Well, there are a lot of stereotypes running rampant. (Just like "Only the Amish HS." The Amish don't HS at all--their teachers are certified and they have little schools!) Because there are the stereotypes and the desire to see how wrong homeschooling might be (because, of course, you have to be wary of anything different), as soon as a person might meet a homeschooler, they are automatically trying to find some fault that they can blame on homeschooling.

Also there are those who will take far more notice of the homeschoolers who stand out in some way, not realizing that there are perhaps many more homeschoolers who don't stand out. I know homeschooled kids who participate in sports activities with other kids (public schooled kids) and one ps kid learned after 2 years of training that these two were homeschooled. The ps kid was totally surprised and seemed to act like the two kids should be really weird or something because they were homeschooled. My own daughter participated in summer activities in the community and ended up in one where some girl started commenting on all the homeschooled kids around (there was a homeschooling group get-together at the same park) and she had all kinds of opinions about it. She never knew that my dd was one of the ones she was criticizing.

Answer 3

It's interesting because most of the homeschooled children I have met are great children and/or great teens. My children also are usually great kids although occasionally will have their rough moments because they are autistic spectrum diagnosed with PDD-NOS and SDI, especially my youngest, who is now 7.

I know there is a huge segment of homeschooled children of special needs children, like my two, who are being schooled at home because the school system didn't work out (we did try for two years). When someone like Mike sees homeschooled children with problems, I suspect it may not be because they are being abused, it may be because they have ADD, autism, or other special needs. Whether these children are attending public, private, or home school, they will at times have their difficult times or meltdowns. It is quite unfair to blame this on the parents or homeschooling.

I actually found that when my ds began homeschooling he was more social, more relaxed, and is a great kid, became a lot more positive and not depressed as he seemed while attending school (he had been crying daily and complaining of stomach aches at school).

Answer 4

I believe that most people have a negative attitude towards homeschooling as opposed to those being homeschool, because normally the conatation with homeschooling is that there is something wrong with the child for them to be homeschooled. I have a friend who was homeschooled until she was in grade 6 (she went to public school because her mother went to work) and she was gifted. But your child would be more shy in the school setting becouse he wasn't used to the atmosphere, if you gave him more time to adjust to the system and the other children I'm sure that he wouldn't be so shy; you say that he is already very socaible which is a good thing.

Answer 5

You can't tell from looking at someone if they're homeschooled. Thus the homeschoolers you will remember are the fantastic screw-ups from the news and the anal-retentive little brats who are fundamentalists, live in a bunker and think it's 1955. The people who would be effed in the head if they sent their kids to school.

The name screws us further, and then people have all these preconcieved notions. It's called homeschooling, sometimes home schooling or home-schooling, the latter is the worst in my opinion. People hear home, they think home. Relaxed. Your family. They hear school. They think of eight hours of regimentation and training and their own kids' primary social time. The fusion they envision is impossible and would be damaging.

People also like to form very strong opinions based on absolutely nothing, and cramming people in to those stereotypes. "Homeschooling is bad for kids. Never going outside and having no friends besides your siblings and being sheltered from the world is damaging." The latter has nothing to do with the former, so they're half right. However, that's akin to saying, "School is bad for kids. Being raped and shot while drunk and high is damaging." The latter has nothing to do with the former, so they're half right.

Some people had bad homeschooling experiences for themselves, or live in an area where homeschooling _would_ mean near-total isolation.

However, when people say, "Well, homeschoolers aren't normal," the proper response isn't, "Well you can have your drones, we'll take our prodigies," -as a lot of homeschooling parents say, if not in as many words- but, "How normal are school kids?" Seriously. There's a thousand kids in a school in NYC; are they all normal?

No population is entirely homogenous but people like to think so. It's simpler than the truth and easy to think that way. Sad but true.

EDIT: People also tend to call homeschoolers closed-minded and rigid. Calling someone closed-minded because they don't subscribe to your world view is rather closed-minded and rigid, isn't it?

Answer 6

Well. It seems that some people in general tend to have a bad view of anything that is not within their own understanding.

There is one person posting within the home-school forum that seems to have a fixation on falsely accusing other citizens of criminal behavior. The ridiculous attempt at starting a stigma is very sad. Once again I will say that IF YOU TRULY KNOW FIRST HAND OF SUCH ACTIVITY: TAKE IT TO THE POLICE ---it is your responsibility to protect the individual that you know this is happening to --- otherwise put up or shut up.

Answer 7

I'm currently a home schooled high schooler and I don't socialize that much with other kids. Its hard for me to make friends because when I'm around other teens I don't know how to act. (that sounds totally stupid but its true) I really don't like being home schooled.
Now I know a currently home schooled teen and he is really friendly and very social, and he also loves being home schooled. Some home schoolers are really social and others are not, it depends on the child.

Now why so many people say home schoolers don't socialize, I don't know. I guess its the same as why so many people say schooled children don't learn anything at school.

Answer 8

I've been home schooled for a long time.... I have tons of friends and very outgoing! I'm at my church 5 days a week with my BEST friend Aly.... My parents took me out of real school because i almost got killed by one of the girls there... My mother is the teacher and she gives us more work then any teacher i ever had in public schools

I'm in 8th grade and in public schools i would be doing college work.. i tested our of 12th grade

Answer 9

I was home schooled! let me save you a lot of trouble. You take for grated all the social experience you gain in school. I have grate parents we are all normal people but home schooling me was the worse thing they could have don I still find my self learning social edict that I should have learned at age 10. If you want your child to be a success I mean truly you will quite letting your fears and hesitation get in the way of him live a full and rounded life. I am 24 and If I new how home schooling would affect my life at age 10 I would have walked to school every day NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!

Answer 10

OK, this is a growing problem/trend. I think your definition of "nonsocialised" is one based on a stereotypical reaction from non-home-schooled people. The "not playing well with others" is just plan stupid, if your child can't play well there is something else amiss. Where home-schooled children usually differ or start to stand out from my experience of working in the university system is that home-schooled people tend to be smart, but stubbornly so. Where as, they have only been taught one way, learned one way, therefor think one way. I would say besides sometimes just being blunt or rude, their world view is very black and white. The last thing the world needs is a bunch of ridged neo-cons.