Too Many Presents?

Question

What is your opinion on this..... every year my husband and I get a few gifts each for our three kids, but my mom goes nuts. She gets tons for each and it upsets my husband. It doesn't really bother me, but he feels it's too much. What's your opinion?? Thanks

It is about spoiling. If I hold some presents off, she gets mad, if I try to talk to her she gets mad. I usually just let it happen and when the five minutes of joy end and the toys end up in the 'already sick' of this pile a few days later then I give them to the goodwill store.

Answer 1

I think it'd be best to sit down with your husband and mother and talk openly about your husband's concerns and try to find a solution together. Try explaining to your mother that she's doing too much, and although it's appreciated, your children already have so much stuff. You might suggest asking her if she wants to go overboard, invest in a savings account for your children or college fund, that way she'll be helping them out, but not spoiling them with tons of toys and goodies.

Answer 2

does your mom get the oppy to see the kids regularly? is it guilt? is she trying to make up for something she missed? who knows? it's hard to teach your kids to appreciate the things that really matter (family, solid relationships, patience, hard work) when they are drowning in stuff. it's also hard to tell folks what to do with their money. Perhaps u & ur husband could come up with a # that represents a reasonable number of gifts per child. Explain why u've decided to do this & explain that the kids will be asked to donate those in excess to a local charity. It make sound overboard but the spoiling of children by relatives usually doesn't have much to do w/the kids themselves. Its the adults trying to make a point/make up for time loss/make up for what they didn't have growing up/show up the parents, etc. So it's not best to let grandma just do what she wants to do. If you as the parents ask that it not be done this way, grandma should not be insulted. she should find another way. Love for her grandkids shouldn't boil down to a once-a-year toyfest.

Answer 3

Why get upset. Let them open the gifts, and then put half or more away in a closet. When the girls get sick of the ones they have in e few weeks, bring out the toys from the closet and put the other ones away. This way even old toys can seem new, there's less mess, and they have to choose which ones to keep out, which could be a lesson.

Answer 4

Very young children are easily over whelmed by too much stuff. Your mother is probably just excited by having grand babies to spoil though and you are probably not going to slow her down. Here is how I handled too much stuff. I put some of the stuff away then I swapped out the toys every month or so. This keeps the toys "new" and interesting for your kids.

Answer 5

We've been through this too. One year, right before our third child was born, the amount of gifts they brough made me physically ill. I looked at the dozens of toys all over our living room and though, "My God, when the third kid gets here, it'll be even worse!" and I freaked out!

Explain to her that it's too much. Nicely and calmly ahead of time before she buys too much. Let her know that you really do appreciate her gifts and so do the kids, but that the house feels like Toys R Us exploded. Remind her that they also get gifts from other people, and when it's all put together it's overwhelming. Talk to her about getting a handfull of REALLY NICE toys instead of tons of stuff. If you can't get her to slow down, ask her to keep some of it at her house for them to play with when they visit her. If she asks for a wish list, be sure the one you provide is short with only the things they REALLY want and no "padding" and then ask her to shop from that list. Talk about the values that overdoing it promote. Talk about how her time spent with the children is more important than the number of gifts under the tree. If she wants to do more, encourage her to buy savings bonds or pay for things like ballet lessons, art class, soccer registration, Children's Museum or zoo membership, etc. instead of so many physical gifts under the tree. If your mom doesn't respond well to discussing it, have you talked to your Dad instead? Sometimes it's better to let Grandpa talk some sense into Grandma. Get the kids to pick out their favorites and donate or exchange the rest if you need to.

Answer 6

Try asking her to get one big toy or a few small toys and a gift card for the littles ones to a clothing store.

I'm getting my inlaws and family this year to pitch-in, in getting a 2 screen car dvd player. I figured since the kids are strapped in and can't go anywhere in the car, thats when I'll be playing educational videos.

Answer 7

Lots of other people already gave great ideas that I agree with, so I just wanted to add one other idea - how about you ask her to buy some stuff, but then take the rest of the money she would have spent, and put it into college funds for them! That way, she can still feel like she's spoiling them, but at least the spoiling will be for a good cause! Hope this helps, good luck!

Answer 8

Gee as a grandmother I have to say that buying presents for the kids is the best part of Christmas. What is the problem? Why shouldnt your Mom buy lots if she can afford it? Is your husband upset because its your Mom not his? My grandchildren get too much every year but no one complains.
I read the other answers and have to say that putting money in a savings account is not nearly as much fun as watching them open the gifts I buy. If you really really have tooo many then why dont you encourage your children to give some to charity before Christmas since they will get new during Christmas.

Answer 9

Its her money if she wants to blow it there is nothing you can do about it. I have a sister who does the same thing to my five yr old. I just dont let her open all the toys at the same time. Put some away unopened then on a rainy day or when the child does something worthy of praise they get an not so new new toy.

Answer 10

that happens in our family too, on both sides....so our kids get a shitload every year. This year we need to add more as their stepdads parents who were convinced they were not getting any grandkids ever are now also sending presents! We just look at it is a way for us to save some money every year and only get one or two things each for the girls. I can see how it upsets your husband though. I would suggest you guys talk to your mom about it if possible.