How do I tell my mum she is slowly killing herself?

Question

My mums an alcoholic she started about 8 years ago she recently went to the doctors about this and they told her if she doesn't stop she will die. I have tried to talk to her about this even suggested writing a diary on how much she drinks but it seems every time I say something i'm dictating like i'm the mother and shes the daughter which just makes her do it more. She did cut down a lot but now she is back to her same old ways. What should I do

Answer 1

frrrruck that if u really care about your mom frruckin take 5 days off work or school n stay with her night n day, 24 hrs never leave her n do something call "cold turkey" folwer her every where n cry n tell her she never drickin again, TAKE CHARGE OR SHE WILL DIE!
PS: LET ME KNWO HOW IS GOES
PPS: IM SORRY FOR THE SWEARIN BUT KEEP UR MOM SAFE!

Answer 2

This is going to be SO difficult. As a recovered alcoholic I know the only thing that made the difference between reaching for that drink and not, was finding the key deep down in myself which gave me a reason. Non-drinkers think that the reasons are obvious: "think of the kids", "it'll kill you, think of your health", "you're making people around you so unhappy" etc. It's my experience that these "obvious" reasons mean very little to an alcoholic - getting that hit was always going to be more important - especially if you get massive withdrawal (shakes, sweats, DTs, gut problems) when you try to go a day without. I would take the pictures of my kids out of the front of my wallet, when I was going to buy drink, so I didn't see them and have to think about them and what I was doing. Try going easy on your mum, but finding some way of exploring with her how happy the drink is making her - in the end she has to want not to drink more than she wants to drink. Every day I have to walk past booze shops and choose not to go in. I would still feel fantastic if I had a drink today. It's just that I've had to put in place reasons I really believe in not to buy that drink. Try exploring some of these issues with your mum. If she's not happy with the places her drinking is taking her, she can start to change. If she's still in a zone that the drinking is better than not drinking, she won't change, and you couldn't make her in a thousand years. It took me roughly eleven years, near-death, loss of job and car, and a spell in rehab before I cracked it. But it can happen if she wants it to. Very good luck.

Answer 3

Hi there hun. I can completely understand how you are feeling. Unfortunately there is no way you can help her until she admits she has a problem. My mother never did. She was in and out of hospital and jail for her drunken behaviour. She was still drinking even though it had made her body so week she was in a wheelchair. Nothing stopped her, she lost her friends her family her home everything. Eventually, she died aged 36 years old.

I guess what I am trying to say is don't expect too much and be prepared for the worst hun I'm sorry this sounds really bad.

However on the plus side, some people do admit they have a problem and do accept the help given and alot possibly stop drinking. I don't know, I only have experience from the rough side. Just hang in there, offer her your help then just concentrate on looking after your self.

Answer 4

I think you should send her to a rehab. Dump all her stuff in the kitchen sink so that she can't drink anymore. If she gets mad and buy some more, dump it down the sink again. Search through the whole house where she put her bottles, flip through the whole house, make sure there's not even a drip of alcohol in the house. Instead, make some fruits and juice for her to curb her addiction and get her some lemon drops or something. Remind her what the doctors said about her health. Tell her it's hard for you to see her in this state, and you do not wish to see her killing herself slowly. Let her know that if she has no desire to change, you do not wish to have any contact with her anymore.

Answer 5

I am also the daughter of an alcoholic and l know how hard it is. How frustrating it is to not be able to make a change. To have to be the adult instead of the child. I'm so sorry to say that there is nothing you can do. She has to seek help on her own. You can't force her. You can only tell her how her drinking is affecting your life and how much she is hurting you. I wish you well and l hope you both get through this.

Answer 6

I totally know how you are feeling, i went through the exact same thing with my dad. The sad truth is though, you can't do anything until your mum realises she has a problem. All you can do is try to be supportive and be there for your mum when she needs it. Unfortunately, my dad did die from alcoholism, and i feel like i should have done more to help, but the truth is, your mum is the only one that can help herself. Good luck :-) x

Answer 7

GET HELP FOR YOURSELF!!!!! Unfortunately, you won't be able to change your mother's behavior, no matter how much you love her or how hard you try. The best thing you can do is to join a support group for children of alcoholics. Look on-line or in the yellow pages. You can even check with your church, if you belong to one. By joining one of these groups, you will be with others in the same situation, and they can give you the best advice and help that you need. Also, keep your mother in your thoughts. The only person who will stop this destructive behavior is your mother herself. But if she sees how much you love her, and how much her behavior is hurting you, she may want to change. Just remember, it's not your fault she wants to continue drinking, so don't try to hold yourself responsible. And if you need someone to talk to, you can always email me.

Answer 8

Im sorry to tell you this hon but she Will die if thats what the doctors told her. My dad was an alcoholic as well and he killed himself the same way at the age of 46,,,and let me tell you it wasnt a pretty sight. He was bleeding from his ears,he was throwing up blood clots,,he couldnt even walk but he managed to drink even though he could barely hold a bottle in his hand. We ended up calling the emt to tkae him to the hospital where he died 10 days later. So unfortunaltey you will not be able to change her ways. Im sorry for what you are going through i know how bad it hurts.

Answer 9

This is a sad situation, but she has to want to help herself....It is so hard to get through to an alcoholic. I would suggest trying a little tough love..... Sometimes that's what you have to do... to let them know that you are serious about it....You can still be there for her, but just dont enable her..Tell her if she would just act like the mother, then you wouldn't have to..Good luck dear, and I wish you all the luck.. I know how it feels to have to deal with an alcoholic.... There are also some programs for you, al-anon..... I believe that is want it is called.. Its for people who deal with other people who are alcoholics....

Answer 10

There is a story behind every addiction. She has to deal with her issues on her own. I know you care about her but she has to be the one to make the choice to get help. Have you tried an intervention? I suggest that you find an Al-Anon meeting where you live. This is for you, not her. It's like a support group for the family and friends of people dealing with addiction. Good Luck.

Answer 11

The alcohol is doing the talking here... Not her... She is addicted and therefore has a disease and help she will never get for herself. It won't matter if you talk to her until you are blue she doesn't have the strength to save herself... Call AA and they will give you all the professional advise you will need. You will find out where to take her and what to do. There are groups(al-anon) for you also and it will save both of your lives. go to Google.com and just type in the word Alcohol... you will find tons of websites so you can begin there... Don't blame your mom.. Its not her talking or acting out. its the alcohol and the disease