What can I do to get the thoughts of the physical abuse I went through out of my head?

Question

My brother and I had a rough childhood. Actually we wasn't fortunate enough to have one at least one that is worth remembering....I haven't been tormentaed by the abuse my brother and I went through in a long time, now I'm 35 and it's bothering me more now then when I was 12 and getting the crap knocked out of me...Why now???? I'm married have 2 kids, o.k. success in my career just living the American dream. I have thought about counseling but don't want to go, the truth is I don't want to talk about it I know I have to do something I'm so depressed over it I'm calling in sick today I feel like I'm going to explode.....

Answer 1

Hun, you can line up the folks that were abused and I bet you'd reach the moon no problem.
Give your thoughts the chance to be known. If you don't want to tell anyone, write them in a journal. Scream, yell, swear and curse your tormentor straight to Hades. Then come to terms with it. you have a CHOICE, ain't that a wonderful thing, power infinite and it's all yours. you have the choice to not continue dwelling in the past. You face it, you don't have to face the person, just yourself, accept it happened and accept that now they no longer have any power over you, especially your thoughts. You tell them they won't continue this abuse, because they can't. And then you let it go. If you start thinking about it, snap your thoughts to something pleasant, your kids, your carreer. Our past is part of us, set and done, but we can mold the present, and build the future. Fantastic thing the future, it isn't set, ever. We can change it at a moments notice simply by changing our thinking.

Answer 2

I live day to day with memories of abuse I went thru. I'm only 5 years older than you, but back then, parents could get away with more than today.

It's hard, I know! In some ways I want so much to be so different than my parents with my own children, that I think it cripples my ability sometimes to be an effective parent.

I wish there was a mental door we could shut and lock away these memories. That sure would be so easy if it were possible.

Anyway, I try to focus on the blessings I have today. I try to keep mentally busy so I don't have time to think of and remember the past. I know this isn't probably the perfect answer, but for someone who also isn't seeking counseling, it's the answer I live with every day.

Do you believe in God? Pray for relief, pray for healing and ask Jesus to take this burden away from you. It has worked for me during rough periods.

I still haven't mastered forgetting tho.

One other thing...sometimes I write a letter to the person who abused me and say all the things I want to say, express the feelings for what they did to me, and by the time I am done writing the letter and have re-read it, it eases the frustration and anger. I never actually mail or deliver the letter to the person. I just release some of my built up emotions.

Answer 3

Truthfully, the only thing that has helped me deal with it is the counceling. There isn't anything wrong with needing some professional help, and it doesn't make you any less of a person. It actually makes you a better person because you know you have a problem and can admit you need help. Sometimes what makes my memories worse is just something in the environment, like I might be walking down the road and hear people yelling and fighting, and it's like I have a flashback and remember the bad things that have happened to me. Maybe you've seen something on tv lately or overheard a conversation that triggered your memories. It happens even after you have counceling, because as you know of course, the memories never go away. I would seriously consider seeking out a liscensed therapist or councelor just to help you deal. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well that's a tough thing to answer, it could be a few thing that is causing it to come up right now. It could be that maybe your two kids are at the age that you both was when you was a child and it's just coming back, or it could be that the more you try not to think about it the worst it gets until it's so bad that it makes you feel like you do now. And the it could be the you subconscious is telling you that you need to forgive the ones who did this to you cause i know that it will make you feel sick and depressed. So the most important thing to do is to search you own feeling and mind to find out whats changed in the past month or so to bring this back up.

Answer 5

it is sad to hear your story but , you and many more go through the same torment not knowing which way to turn for help as it is too hard to talk about. if you have ever heard about past life regression or being hypnotised back to that period in your life, then i really think you might try this. i did have some problems in my early childhood and through a pranic healer i was able to get past these memories. the funny thing was that i thought i had gotten rid of them all but had not. if this does feel like something you may want to try to relieve you of your problems then please do make sure you go to someone who knows exactly what they are doing. check their back ground if need be. good luck and i hope this helps.

Answer 6

you are having repressed memories,, you may not want to go in for help but you need to for your children's sake,, maybe these feelings are hurting you more now that your a parent and realize that you didn't deserve the abuse you received,, { as no child deserves it} these so called parents that do this to their children should go to jail,, most of the time the abuse follows the children into adulthood therefore causing them to wonder why it was done to them,,, please see a Dr. it will help and you will in return be a better parent,, Good Luck and while your taking the day off from work you can start looking for help...

Answer 7

the best thing you can do is to engage in some counselling with a professional. It will really help you get your feelings out in the open, discuss them, understand them and then how to deal with them.

I went through the same thing and was finally thrown out of my house at age 16. I turned out just fine. Great wife and kids of my home, excellent job, nice home. Nothing of this would have been possible without having been to see a psychologist who helped me deal with this.

Answer 8

You have to move on,the more you brood on the past the worse it gets,remember what has happened can not be fixed,water under the bridge.Concentrate on your husband and kids,and all the other pleasures you have.LET GO OF THE PAST???.Speak to a close friend on there thoughts on the matter,

Answer 9

I am a person who really believes, that if we don't forgive others, then the Lord won't forgive us...This is what God and Jesus say...they were sinners, and wrong for what they did you you guys...but as long as you are holding on to it..they will always keep abusing you...Please try to forgive them,..as you are a sinner also, in God's eyes...you would be amazed,..at how the Lord removes that pain from your heart...it wasn't fair, but somehow, you have managed to rise above it...there are people who never do and can't go forward...Thank Jesus and His Father, for your wonderful wife and kids and success...and move forward...to eer is human, to forgive, is devine...God Bless..and to the non believer, who thumbed down all of us that DO believe,...I'll pray for you too...

Answer 10

you sound like my sister...she annoys me so. she chose to continue living in the past...being around her is unbearable. i chose to move on and keep the past where it belongs...IN THE PAST. seek counseling. my sister is always physically illl because of her depression. we all have choices...sink or swim. i too am a survivor of a traumaic childhood, but i'd rather move on and enjoy life. you can do the same thing. every morning when you wake up, realize that you can either choose to have a good day, or a bad day...it's all up to you. if you don't want counseling you can just keep on living as you are.