Is this just the way he is?

Question

I was with a guy for two months. He was the first person I liked after splitting from my ex of nearly three years. We were getting on really well and were both crazy about eachother. I thought he was the perfect guy, until....I was out with my buddies one night and his friends happened to be out too, one of his "buddies" chanced his arm with me but I refused. He told the guy I was with the next day that we slept together, which was totally untrue! and my boyfriend at the time broke up with me. I told him it was untrue and to listen but he wouldn't so I let it go. I saw him when I was out and he he started calling me very bad names in front of people **** etc and telling people to keep away from me. I was shocked that he turned on me like this. I saw him last weekend and he apologised for what he said saying he was angry and that he was crazy about me but I hurt him. Do you think I should stay away from him. Been in an aggressive relationship b4 don't ever want to go there

Answer 1

I have been with a bloke like that before and to start off with I really liked him and I thought his aggressive behaviour would go but it didn't, it got WORSE!! Mine alwayed used to apologise. But in the end him used to manipulate me and hit me. I took him to court in the end! Please don't get involved. If he is so easily turned against you then you are worth so much more than him!!

Answer 2

This fella has got to be under 17 or if he isn't then he needs to spend some time alone and stop being such a sheep.
If he listened to his mate instead of you and he was seeing you, then he isn't mature enough to have a relationship with a woman (assuming you are a woman). At the end of your question, you stated that you were in an aggressive relationship before and didn't want to go there again. That is exactly where you are at the moment. It is a pattern and until you break the cycle, you will be in those sorts of relationships.
Take some time for yourself away from this fella and his friends and get a different perspective. Go out with your friends or family and don't think about this guy. You will have a basis to compare the feelings you have being around people who care and respect you and people who don't lift you up and make you feel good about yourself.
This fella is a child and doesn't have enough extra of himself to share with you. He will one day, but not now.
Make yourself happy and enjoy your life and you will attract a fella who is a thousand times better than this one but you gotta do the work on yourself first.
Good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like this guy really liked you and from his point of view (since he believed his mate) you really hurt him and he lashed out in a verbal manner. If you were out it is likely he was drinking too so this wouldn't of helped. Love makes people act in ways they never thought they would, people argue thats normal so perhaps he shouldn't be judged on this incident alone but only you were there, was he too aggressive, too nasty, frightening, if so then maybe it is showing a side of him that could come out as most people like to put up a perfect front when they first go out.

If he was just mouthing off, shouting, then like I said he was hurt but you have to judge if he took it too far, was it just the drink shouting, voicing his pain or was there a nastiness you would rather not find out about?

Answer 4

I can't help but wonder whether he is still 'buddies' with the other guy and why he said what he did. I can only say that if I had a friend who claimed he'd slept with my girlfriend, he would be the main focus of my anger. What kind of 'buddy' would do that?

Having said that, even if he believed it was true, a reasonable guy would not insult you in public - drunk or not.

He didn't believe or trust you, he insulted you in public - he will do it again. His 'buddies' reflect who he is and you will always be dealing with them as well.

Move on and put it down to experience.

Answer 5

I think he sounds a bit dodgy. I mean I am not saying he should have believed you straight away, but refusing to hear your point at all concerns me. I think I would probably let this one go. Who knows how he will respond the next time something comes up in your relationship.

Answer 6

As a woman or any decent human being, you dont desreve to be verbally abused especially when this guy hasnt even spoken to you properly about what was said. You can do without this guy. Hes already showed you that he would believe his mates over you. Maybe you subconsiously picked the same type of guy as your ex( which we all tend to do).

Answer 7

Verbal abuse is still abuse there are many fish in the sea you will find the right guy soon enough don't waist your time on someone who first doesn't trust when you tell him u did nothing wrong and second disses you and makes you look bad you can do better

Answer 8

I think he was probably drunk & just venting - he never got to really tell you how he felt. I think he does really like you, he just can't get past thinking that you cheated on him (which you didn't) w/ his friend. You need to talk to that friend & tell him if he really was a friend he wouldn't do this & try to convince him to admit that he was drunk & stupid & made a huge mistake. If he won't, maybe somehow you can call him out on it in front of your ex & he'll beable to tell that his friend is lying. If not, it's all up to your ex what he wants to do.

Answer 9

You need to explain to this guy what actually happened then tell him that you don't want to see him anymore but you wanted to get the record straight. You've been hurt too much and don't need this stuff.
He should take his aggression out on his 'mate'.

Answer 10

I would stay away from him he's not worth it if he believed his friend over you for a start and then to act like that if he cared for you at all he wouldnt be like that.
i'd let it go and move on find someone worthy of you.