My parents wont let my girlfriend and I be with the door shut or with eachother at night... what can I do?

Question

My girlfriend and I are very innocent, we are not looking for anything sexual in our relationship but our parents (more mine) dont understand that. We would love to sleep together in a bed but not in the sexual way. I have always found parents good people looking for the best but this is just down right frusterating and I hate being accused of something I don't do. How can I make my parents more relaxed about this?

Answer 1

Well, your parents know that any normal people who sleep in a bed would be tempted, it dosen't amtter WHO you are. They don't want the temptation to be put in front of you. LISTEN to you parents! :) Arum

Answer 2

You cant make your parents more relaxed. I would assume that you are a teenager if not move out. When you live in your parents house you have to respect their rules. Even if you want to sleep next to your girlfriend with nothing happening something might happen. You have never experience laying next to a female that you care about so I am sure you might touch each other or heaving kissing. If you and your girl arent doing anything with the door open or closed it shouldnt really matter if the door is open or closed. You should be happy that you can go in your room with your girlfriend.

Answer 3

OK, I understand. I was the same way and felt the same way. I had strong values and had made a comittment to myself to not sleep with anyone until we were married. We always made our dates at his house, because my parents wouldn't allow us to watch a movie in my bedroom alone, and his parents did. As strong as my values were, we had sex for the first time in his house. It wouldn't have happened in ours. Maybe you don't want sex, maybe you think you're strong enough, and maybe you won't have sex with this particular girl, but after a while when you've been seeing someone for a while and your emotional relationship is getting serious, it is very difficult to control having sex. We started out one thing at a time, kissing for months, grabbing outside of clothes for months, going inside the clothes for months. You get my point. One day, we just took it too far. If sex is not on your mind, then what's the problem with keeping the door open? Just have an open conversation with your parents and ask that they don't keep barging in every 5 min. It's hard being at this stage knowing what you want in life and still having to follow the rules of your parents, but believe it or not this stage will be over with sooner than you think and you will have all the time in the world to make your own mistakes. Right now, they are just trying to protect you. Best of Luck! How old are you?

Answer 4

While you live under your parents roof, you need to abid by their rules. This is not a crazy rule. I had the same rule when I was younger. I wasn't even allowed to have boys in my room til I was 19, and even then, the door had to be open. My parents only let my boyfriend start sleeping over after we'd been together for a year. I'm 24 and he's 26 and we never stay at his house because we can't even sleep in the same room there. But, it's their house and we have no problem with it. It's called respect.

Answer 5

Oh this is so difficult. How old are you? How long have you been with your girlfriend? Would they allow you to sleep in the same room if not in the same bed?

I do understand what you're saying but also your parents point of view.

If you are over 16 (UK here), and have been with each other for a while I don't think I would object.

I think the best thing to do is not to kick up a fuss about it. Lay low for a while then approach the subject again with them. Tell them you'll leave your door ajar. Tell them you understand their worries. If they still say no and you are not of an age to do as you please then you'll have to be patient for a while longer.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Let them sleep in the room with you guys or have a 24 hour surveilance monitor playing on you guys for them to watch.

Kid, respect your parents' rules or move out. That's the ONLY way it can work. Trust them with this rule.
I broke it and it screwed me up. I'm better now, but it's not worth all the pain and heartache that can come from "messing up".

And, I will not believe for a second that you actually think that sleeping with her, without sexual stuff, is safe and innocent! That's a load of bull and you know it! EVery man and boy is HORNY and sooner or later will break, ESPECIALLY when temptation is right at his fingertips anytime he wants it!!

Just don't go there.

Answer 7

You are obviously an immature teen seeking the approval of an adult to let you make adult decisions---

Here is the answer-----YOUR PARENTS HOUSE! THEIR RULES! THEIR GAME---you don't like the rules or their game---then there is the front door----Fly your wings to your own house---support yourself, with your $$$$$---then and only then will you be able to make your OWN RULES to your GAME of life!!

RESPECT your parents wishes-----no matter what you say----as long as that door is open to your room-----it shouldn't matter!!!! Keep the peace and your chastity will stay with you and so will the innocence!-----I doubt very seriously you're all that innocent and if you think anyone on here is going to believe you want to sleep in a bed with this female and nothing will arise out of this----i'll throw a snow ball in the bahamas and make a snowman for you too!!!

Answer 8

For one thing you have no business being in your room with a girl with the door closed,I don't care if you ain't doing nothing, that is your parents house and you should respect them,just wait til you get married and have kids,are you gonna let your 15 year old daughter be in the bedroom with the door closed,I think not

Answer 9

ok, as quickly as returned, i don't intend to sound propose. however the way you're speaking, you particularly do not sound old adequate to be having intercourse. what's the super deal besides while you're the two proceeding to attend till you're married to have intercourse? as long as you the two stay below their roofs, then you definately stay with the aid of their regulations. as quickly as you get old adequate, cuddling usually leads to different issues besides, or "undesirable stuff". Wait you have a brilliant style of time, you've a brilliant style of time once you get married. How long is continuously? 10 years? 6 months? What would appear as if continuously for you, won't particularly be that long.

Answer 10

Your parents have more experience in life than you do. They know, without a doubt, what could happen when you are behind closed doors together. Trust their instincts. They are right. Don't put yourself into a tempting situation like that. You might live to regret it.

Answer 11

(My girlfriend and I are very innocent, we are not looking for anything sexual in our relationship) If that is true then why do you want to sleep with her behind a closed door?
Son you need to guard your heart and mind until you marry.How would you think of this young lady if she told you she just slept with another guy would it be so innocent then?What would it do to her reputation?Its things such as this that cause problems in future relationships example....You marry the girl of your dreams only to find out later she is always comparing you to an old boyfriend that she slept with and you realize if she could have him back she would dump you in a heartbeat....That could not happen if young people would guard there hearts and save them selfs for the person God intended for them to be with.