how much drinking is too much?

Question

the father of my kids drink friday and saturday every weekend he comes home early hours in the morning and yells at me and pushs me around and wakes up the next morning really shitty because the kids are playing to loud he is only 25 but so am i
i stay home all week with the kids i dont drink so i stay at home when he goes out is it because he is still young or is he drinking to much
i think when you drink it should be for special time not because you want too
what do i do does he need help

Answer 1

Next time he comes home treating you like that go to your moms or a friend after he passes out. Leave him a note explaining you are not going to put up with that kind of behavior. You do not know where he is. (probably cheating) definitely drinking and driving. He is in a downward spiral and needs to straighten out. If he can`t don`t let him drag you and your children down with him. Good luck.

Answer 2

If he is pushing you around the only thing for you do to is LEAVE. I know that it is hard to grasp that concept but what if at some point he starts pushing the kids around. Who cares if he is 25 and "young" he made a decision to have a family he needs to act mature and responsible. As for you saying you just stay home, there is way more then just staying home involved in raising a family give yourself some credit. He will not seek help if he does not want it and if he seeks help before he's ready, if he'll ever be ready, it wont do him any good. Sometimes people need to lose everything and hit rock bottom before they see they have a problem. My advice to you is to let your friends and family know the truth in your marriage not just the image everyone portrays in public {always happy} Im sure they would be more then willing to help. Make sure that you call the cops if he EVER injures you or god forbid the kids because if it is undocumented should your marriage end in divorce you wouldnt have proof or even reason to limit his contact with the kids for their protection. By the way I am not a fan of telling people to divorce but it wont get any better, it will only get worse. I left my daughters father back in 1993 after he finally hit me out of fear he'd do it to her and was a single mom of a speical needs child until 2005 and although it is hard at times, it was better then wondering if he'd come home and be aggressive to me or even worse her.

Answer 3

Honey abuse is abuse....regardless of how you look at it....pushing you around is physical/domestic abuse.....yelling at you....emotional and psychological abuse.....going out and leaving you with the kids, and using all his money to go out drinking is financial and domestic abuse again........

In my opinion, (i have been where you are,) the smartest thing you can possibly do for yourself and those children is to leave and get yourself some legal support, and dont look back, from here, if you stay things will only get worse until you or someone else winds up in a body bag.....you dont want that do you?

Im sorry to be so harsh, but you need to hear it straight from someone that knows how things end.....get out now, while you still can, and never ever return, think of how much better your kids lives will be without what they are having to go through you/they are going through now.......

Answer 4

Just like the first response you got, if it happens again leave for a while, tell him that you won't put up with his disrespecting, childish behavior. And when he's ready to be a man and treat you and the kids the way you should be treated then you'll come back. If it happens again and you stay with him it's your own fault. I don't feel sorry for women who put up with such abuse. Us being women will forgive and let things slide just because we don't want to lose someone and we don't want to be alone. But there's only so much that we should put up with. He hits you once, shame on him. He hits you again and you stay, shame on you. I know it sucks big time being alone but wouldn't you rather be alone and safe then with him and hurting? I would. Give him an ultimatum, if he doesn't change then leave his *ss, obviously he doesn't want to and you'd be better off.

Answer 5

GET OUT NOW!!!
i was in a relationship like that and it just got worse. he kept apologizing and i kept believing. until it got to the point where i thought i deserved it. yeah, for real. i thought i could do no better than that bum.
WRONG!
people abuse others to make up for their own insecurities. it's a power thing. eventually, if you don't get out now, your self esteem will be worse than his and it can take years to build it back.
another reason to get out...your kids. they see what's going on. ya got a boy? do you want him to think it's okay behavior to push around and bully girls? that they'll take it cause mom always did?
ya got a girl? don't you want her to run like crazy if someone tries to hurt her, physically or emotionally? what if she were to stay because her role model, her mom put up with it? how about for yourself? i pray you have not already got top the point of believing this is your life. get out honey. i know it's scary. i know it's hard, but there are people and places that will help you and your children. i'm praying for your family.

Answer 6

A person is drinking too much when it starts to affect his/her personal or professional lives. His is. Time to get hard knock on him. Tell him you will no longer put up with it. If he doesnt stop soon it will escalate into violence since he has already begun to push you around. My suggestion is to leave until he gets his drinking under control.

Answer 7

He's still young but needs to realize that you can't act like a lush when you have kids. Talk to him about this and if things don't change then you really need to think about the kids and yourself. Getting drunk and angry can lead to really bad things and something needs to change before it does.

Answer 8

i had a friend whose father was like that and it started off like that and led to hitten and he even broke her moms nose one time over a cracked mirror so id assume the same thing is gonna happin in just about any case of drinking it increeses and attitude get worse ur better getten out of it before it just become another usual part of your day

Answer 9

if you two live together and have children he should not go out without you.
When guys go out and get drunk they usually want to flirt with and have sex with a woman.
If he comes home in the morning..where did he spend the night..and especially if he is mean to you is it a good probability that he has another woman.
Put your foot down...get it official that he has to support your children.....give him an ultimatum that he stop going out or get out of your house. ..Then you go get on food stamps and welfare....its best not to catch a disease that he can pass on to you..your children need a healthy mom...not one dying of aids or hepititis

Answer 10

Sounds like an abusive drunk. Be careful of him, it rarely gets better and almost always gets worse. You should not put up with it at all, not ever.