My daughter, the 14 year old isn't as bad as the 11 year old boy. The both think they are the parent and I only exist when they get their way! We live with my mom and her husband because of my health. The boy acts out his anger and has destroyed many things of mine and my mom's including put holes in the walls and doors. I've tried to get them psychiatric care, but my son isn't cooperating at all. He just wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it and my daughter talks back when I'm just trying to help. I'm going insane with not being able to discipline them the way I want to because we are living with mom and her husband. Can anyone help me plz? I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown and soon. Thanks!
2006-11-27 20:37:35 · 12 answers · asked by rhwhitmore2222 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I use to do preliminary psychological assessments and it seems that your son needs to be evaluated. However, there are many factors that I do not know about your situation that will allow me to assess your situation. Is the situation long-term (living with parents), is your illness terminal, where is your children's father(s), have you moved to another state/city, etc.?
Many children experience discipline issues when there is a major change. In any loss there is grief. Look at the situation that you are in and answer what stages of grief. Perhaps they are greiving the loss of you, thier home, friends, etc.
Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes
If you have been their only source of foundation and that foundation has crumbled they may be scared. As a result they are reacting to an emotion that they do not know how to handle, which unfortunately for you, it is making it look like they are out of control.
When people are threaten with a situation that they have no control over they often result to what they can control. They may be trying to take some control of their life and the result can be detrimental. I would like to give you more avenues but I need more information. If you are willing to share, please forward your comments to melsonakosa@yahoo.com
2006-11-27 21:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by mingnyon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take away the internet, TV from them and u will get results fast.
Even if u have to hide the DSL box in your car or take the TV to a neighbor.
The only way to straighten them out at this age is to take something away they enjoy and they will be forced to change to get it back.
U got to quit letting them have all the power over u.
GET A GRIP AND SHOW THEM WHO IS BOSS. They dont need psychiatric help, they just need positive things to do.
Hormones runs crazy at this age with kids,
2006-11-28 03:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should not try to discipline them, because things have already slipped out of your hand. they will continue this behaviour because you are also reacting.
you should stop thinking more about caring them and just let things be...caring without caring is also one form of caring...children have extra energy for mischief..that is what children means..you have to remember your childhood..you may have also acted similarly in some occasions.
stop giving them attention for a week...you busy yourself with something else... we try to solve problems directly...that is not wise. your idea about getting psychiatric help is not totally bad.
it only means that you need a third party. anyone the boy listens to can be of help.
For experiment you can do this also: give your son something which you wouldn't mind breaking and tell him: "son would you mind breaking this thing for me... i want to see how wonderfully it goes into pieces.." If he does this on your request, next time he will not think about breaking...the more you resist, he will break more,,,if he knows that you also support his actions, he will be friendly and the game is over.
2006-11-27 22:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by swami04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea put them in GOD hands and dont take them back sounds like the need a good azz kicking if your mom and her husband is able to whip them i would authorize them to do so if not baby let me tell you this boot camp and when they go dont go visiting like you are crazy what good will you be if you stay stressed out and have a nervous break down? after the nervous break down they are still gonna do the same thing put there azz in boot camp if that dont work put them in foster care kids these days need to know that fat meat is greasy its better for you when they are sleeping get some blesing oil and put it on them believe and have faith while you pray because prayer can change things take them to church get them baptised ask your pastor to come and pray with all of you and for advice just dont stress it kills gl in my prayers
2006-11-27 20:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Strong Willed Child - Dr James Dobson
and here is a cheep place to buy the book - 80,000 booksellers
2006-11-27 20:40:38 · answer #5 · answered by tom4bucs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had better step up and be a proper parent, regardless of your living situation. It is your job. Get help from parenting classes or some agency if you need to. Don't use your living situation as an excuse.
2006-11-27 23:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do away with the internet, television from them and u gets outcomes rapid. whether u could conceal the DSL field on your automobile or take the television to a neighbor. the only thank you to straighten them out at this age is to take something away they get excitement from and that they are going to be compelled to alter to get it decrease back. U have been given to provide up permitting them to have each and all the skill over u. GET A GRIP AND practice THEM who's BOSS. They dont desire psychiatric help, they only desire advantageous issues to do. Hormones runs loopy at this age with childrens,
2016-10-04 11:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by wiemer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them they are lucky they still have you in their life 'cuz most children are on the streets 'cuz they no longer have parents and their families don't want them. Or send them to boot camp
2006-11-28 01:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called panishment.Like taking things away from them.No favorite food untill they deseve it,no games,no clothes,to tv.Take away anything that they like the most.Be a little strong,let them know you are the boss.
2006-11-27 20:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
smack him upside the head, i know it sounds cruel, and evil, and like it might be illeagle. but he'll get the message
Spanking can be rather effective.. keeps them inline!!
It kept me inline.
aannnd. Hes a boy, they do that. wait till the girl is 17... oh arent you in for a treat.
2006-11-27 20:40:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋